Hi there,
Myself Argentite (name changed).
I am a doctor.
I am into PMO since i was 10.
Started as casual sex search on yahoosearch while on school project at an internet cafe.
Progressed to sex stories, fakes, sex chats and etc.
This thing was casual earlier and got compulsive and habitual.
I will seek opportunity and spend my time watching porn.
With internet technology on phone, it got easier.
Access to explicit content at fingertips all time was so convenient.
In medical College, my addiction intensified.
I would watch endless porn and sex chat with anonymous girls
We shared pics and nudes.
My first girlfriend left me when she found out about my sex chats with girls.
I was shattered and took refuge to more sex chatting and porn.
I found love online.
Dated and married her.
She was the best i could ever get.
We had amazing sexual chemistry initially.
We would go bonkers whenever together (we were in long distance relationship for 7 years).
However, side by side my addiction intensified.
My wife started to complaint that i paid no heed to her and was lost in my world.
When away, she would crave for my time, i would keep the phone making excuses.
Just coz i had to go and watch porn and masturbate.
She somehow hung on and our relationship went downhill.
Things went bad to worst.
Her complaints got serious.
Once i realised that it may be due to this addiction, i shared that with her.
She was supportive then
She said me to work on it and i promised her that i would.
But this thing had the better of me
It secretly eroded me.
I was left a shell of a man.
I have lost all motivation, initiation, pleasure, hobbies, intimacy.
I am just existing and not living
Recently, my wife had it with me.
While i was away, she again complained of loneliness while being married to me.
Things got so worse that she wanted divorce seriously this time.
I cried that day and went into self contemplating.
Then i realised what has been holding me back and i had been neglecting and feeding it daily.
This realisation struck like a lightening.
I shared it with her seeking support.
But the news broke her. She lost all trust in me and left me.
Finally this vice has struck it's most lethal. Blow
Now m lonely and struggling with this addiction.
M trying hard from 45 days now.
Longest no fap streak went for 8 days.
But then i relapse.
Urges take over and i am unable to control.
Seeking professional help as well but no results so far.
Finally trying this journaling as a resort to be more accountable.
Clean today and hope to end that way.
Will update my progress and seek support
Happy to help as well.
Let's heal together
Myself Argentite (name changed).
I am a doctor.
I am into PMO since i was 10.
Started as casual sex search on yahoosearch while on school project at an internet cafe.
Progressed to sex stories, fakes, sex chats and etc.
This thing was casual earlier and got compulsive and habitual.
I will seek opportunity and spend my time watching porn.
With internet technology on phone, it got easier.
Access to explicit content at fingertips all time was so convenient.
In medical College, my addiction intensified.
I would watch endless porn and sex chat with anonymous girls
We shared pics and nudes.
My first girlfriend left me when she found out about my sex chats with girls.
I was shattered and took refuge to more sex chatting and porn.
I found love online.
Dated and married her.
She was the best i could ever get.
We had amazing sexual chemistry initially.
We would go bonkers whenever together (we were in long distance relationship for 7 years).
However, side by side my addiction intensified.
My wife started to complaint that i paid no heed to her and was lost in my world.
When away, she would crave for my time, i would keep the phone making excuses.
Just coz i had to go and watch porn and masturbate.
She somehow hung on and our relationship went downhill.
Things went bad to worst.
Her complaints got serious.
Once i realised that it may be due to this addiction, i shared that with her.
She was supportive then
She said me to work on it and i promised her that i would.
But this thing had the better of me
It secretly eroded me.
I was left a shell of a man.
I have lost all motivation, initiation, pleasure, hobbies, intimacy.
I am just existing and not living
Recently, my wife had it with me.
While i was away, she again complained of loneliness while being married to me.
Things got so worse that she wanted divorce seriously this time.
I cried that day and went into self contemplating.
Then i realised what has been holding me back and i had been neglecting and feeding it daily.
This realisation struck like a lightening.
I shared it with her seeking support.
But the news broke her. She lost all trust in me and left me.
Finally this vice has struck it's most lethal. Blow
Now m lonely and struggling with this addiction.
M trying hard from 45 days now.
Longest no fap streak went for 8 days.
But then i relapse.
Urges take over and i am unable to control.
Seeking professional help as well but no results so far.
Finally trying this journaling as a resort to be more accountable.
Clean today and hope to end that way.
Will update my progress and seek support
Happy to help as well.
Let's heal together
