I am taking control of myself

Jochen999

Member
What helped me was setting up as many blockers as I could find. You can still uninstall them, but the more blockers, the more effort you have to put in, and the more time it will give you to think about why you are doing this. Also, going for a walk when urges suddenly strike helps. Give it a try :)

Also, I used dating apps. They were one of the reasons for my previous relapse, so I told myself not dating apps until day 90 and then only on fixed times.

Keep up the good work. You almost got the two weeks mark!
Thanks for the advice! I have to stay away from sexual stimuli as much as possible. I have already looked for erotic film scenes on Netflix. In the meantime, I'm becoming aware of my behaviour relatively quickly and it's easier for me to stop it.
 

Jochen999

Member
Day 16

The day went okay. I was shopping online for clothes and looked at the bikini models. I now take it with humour and smile at how my addicted brain looks for every opportunity to get its dose. I masturbated to it, but after 2 minutes I had a conscious moment and thought to myself, "I'm no longer the slave of my urges." So the abstinence phase is not 100% going yet, but I am making progress.

I've been reading the book "Dopamine Nation" by Dr. Anna Lembke for the last few days (highly recommended) and I've realised again that in my life so far I've been running away from unpleasant things instead of facing them. Sometimes you have to face the unpleasant things to experience happiness. I have changed my perspective on pain and discomfort and try to face these emotions and situations in order to grow from them.
 

Jochen999

Member
Day 19

Hey,
I'm on day 19 right now. It's going pretty well so far. I had trouble sleeping yesterday because my libido is so high. I have noticed that my voice has deepened and negative thoughts have decreased. I was still looking for ways to satisfy my cravings, but I was able to resist. I stay humble and focused.
 

Simon2

Well-Known Member
I find day 5 to 30 or so the hardest... after that it might get a bit easier :) (and I see evidence for that here with many guys failing in that timeframe) All the best - you're well into this tough slog!
 

Jochen999

Member
DAY 28

It's going really well. I just went to the gym and was able to lift a lot of weight, even though I haven't exercised for a long time. Other than that, my well-being is more stable and I feel that people respond better to me.
 

Jochen999

Member
30 Days

I am proud of myself for making it this far. I am very happy and grateful that I signed up here and that I am sharing the journey with people who are pursuing the same goal. I think that this component was missing in my previous attempts to be abstinent. Thank you to supporters. I'm doing really well at the moment and I'm aiming for 90 days. Let's see where the journey takes me. I remain humble and focused.
 

Jochen999

Member
Day 34

I am still doing well. The moments when I am in a bad mood or cannot control my emotions have decreased significantly. I feel better in my skin every day and speak up more and stand up for myself, which I had problems with before.
 

Jochen999

Member
Day 20

In the last few days I had a few days off and was often alone, which in turn increased the craving. I realised that I have to structure my everyday life well so that I don't get any stupid ideas. The triggers are still there and I have to stay focused. Without the blockers, I would probably have fallen off the wagon.
 

Jochen999

Member
Day 1

I relapsed (MO). I'm still on the journey. Porn is currently not a problem because of the blockers, but the M habits are strong and difficult to prevent. The habit is deeply rooted in my brain. That's currently the biggest challenge + the mobile phone and the sexual stimuli in the area that keep tempting me. I will probably always be prone to it and will keep fighting and improve myself. All in all, I am much more stable than when I started my journey.
 
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