Clouds and Dirt

Figured I'd use today's post to write about something positive. After a couple months of hunting, I landed a job. I'll be moving out of my parents place after a couple months of saving up some money, can't wait. As soon as I'm in my own place I plan to start dating again, so that's like extra motivation to stay away from porn in the meantime.

-Clouds&Dirt
 

chap

Active Member
very neat observation @Clouds&Dirt . it is interesting that everyone’s relationship with something is on varying degrees. i definitely would take this as an opportunity to find the similarities these two different activities have despite their differences. all in all, it’s great you’re making an effort to come back to the forums daily. kudos to you!
 
Been looking into some "alternative" ways to help strengthen myself in this battle. Found two interesting concepts, which I guess I'll use this post to write about.

1. Meditation
Supposedly, meditation helps you "train" your brain to focus. The act of "emptying your mind" is actually strengthening the part of your brain responsible for focus. While meditating, when your mind starts to think about things, your supposed to try and "delete" that thought. By doing this, the part of your brain that is responsible for controlling your thoughts gets some exercise. This is beneficial because when the addict urges strike, your brain is a little stronger and can control those thoughts better. This is oversimplifying the crap of out of it lol but that's the jist.

2. Cold showers
The logic behind cold showers is interesting. Basically, it's a safe and private way to overcome something difficult and uncomfortable every day. It increases your "mental toughness." By tackling something as horrible as a cold shower, other things seem easier in comparison. Fighting the porn urges becomes easier because you deal with something dramatically more uncomfortable every day (the cold shower). Again, this is really simplifying the science behind it but it's interesting.

Not necessarily saying I'm gonna do these things, but I'm considering it. At worst, they don't help me at all, at best, they are the little nudge I needed to finally overcome porn for good

-Clouds&Dirt
 

AJ7

Active Member
Been looking into some "alternative" ways to help strengthen myself in this battle. Found two interesting concepts, which I guess I'll use this post to write about.

1. Meditation
Supposedly, meditation helps you "train" your brain to focus. The act of "emptying your mind" is actually strengthening the part of your brain responsible for focus. While meditating, when your mind starts to think about things, your supposed to try and "delete" that thought. By doing this, the part of your brain that is responsible for controlling your thoughts gets some exercise. This is beneficial because when the addict urges strike, your brain is a little stronger and can control those thoughts better. This is oversimplifying the crap of out of it lol but that's the jist.

2. Cold showers
The logic behind cold showers is interesting. Basically, it's a safe and private way to overcome something difficult and uncomfortable every day. It increases your "mental toughness." By tackling something as horrible as a cold shower, other things seem easier in comparison. Fighting the porn urges becomes easier because you deal with something dramatically more uncomfortable every day (the cold shower). Again, this is really simplifying the science behind it but it's interesting.

Not necessarily saying I'm gonna do these things, but I'm considering it. At worst, they don't help me at all, at best, they are the little nudge I needed to finally overcome porn for good

-Clouds&Dirt
Hey @Clouds&Dirt I would highly recommend both of those options 👍
 
Had a dream last night where I was trying to PMO but couldn't. The internet kept going out and random people kept coming into my room so I'd have to switch tabs on the computer to something else. Weird dream, but I'm glad I failed to successfully PMO in it lol.

-Clouds&Dirt
 
The urges have arrived. I find seemingly every train of thought somehow turning sexual. I'm ready for this though, this is the time where I say "No" and never look back. This too shall pass. I have to deal with this hell for a week or two and then the cravings will fade to the point where they aren't so powerful anymore. I think I'll actually try those cold showers now. Wish me strength!

-Clouds&Dirt
 

dienekes1

Active Member
Been looking into some "alternative" ways to help strengthen myself in this battle. Found two interesting concepts, which I guess I'll use this post to write about.

1. Meditation
Supposedly, meditation helps you "train" your brain to focus. The act of "emptying your mind" is actually strengthening the part of your brain responsible for focus. While meditating, when your mind starts to think about things, your supposed to try and "delete" that thought. By doing this, the part of your brain that is responsible for controlling your thoughts gets some exercise. This is beneficial because when the addict urges strike, your brain is a little stronger and can control those thoughts better. This is oversimplifying the crap of out of it lol but that's the jist.

2. Cold showers
The logic behind cold showers is interesting. Basically, it's a safe and private way to overcome something difficult and uncomfortable every day. It increases your "mental toughness." By tackling something as horrible as a cold shower, other things seem easier in comparison. Fighting the porn urges becomes easier because you deal with something dramatically more uncomfortable every day (the cold shower). Again, this is really simplifying the science behind it but it's interesting.

Not necessarily saying I'm gonna do these things, but I'm considering it. At worst, they don't help me at all, at best, they are the little nudge I needed to finally overcome porn for good

-Clouds&Dirt
I do both and would highly recommend. Meditation teaches you the temporary nature of your urges and that you need not act on them. Cold showers teach you that you’re much tougher than you think you are. They’re difficult at first but you get used to them in time.
 
Took a cold shower this morning, can't exactly say I enjoyed it, but I do enjoy the feeling after it's over and I feel like I accomplished something. I'll keep doing them for a while and see how my mood is affected.

I was falling asleep a bit, but I did a 10 minute meditation. Not really sure what to expect from it but it can't hurt so I'll keep trying for a while and see if I feel any differences.

Also, I finally started working today. This has a HUGE benefit towards battling PMO because now I don't have so much idle time. It will be easier to keep my mind busy throughout the day.

Feeling optimistic

-Clouds& Dirt
 
I think I went into a proper "meditation" state today for a brief moment. I was sitting there focusing on keeping my mind empty, and for a moment, it was just blank. No ongoing thoughts, and no thoughts trying to form.

The feeling of that moment is hard to explain, but I have an interesting analogy. Imagine you've been scrolling on your phone or computer for a long time, just hanging on YouTube or something, and then you look up from your screen and look into the distance through a window. For a couple of seconds, it's like you can FEEL your eyes relaxing. Like your eyes let out a big sigh of relief. It's almost like you didn't realize how hard your eyes were working until you took them away from the screen...

So, this is kind of what my mind felt like for that moment. A sensation of calm where my mind felt weirdly relaxed, like I didn't realize how hard it was working until I intentionally "turned it off".

Anyway, that was only for a few seconds, until I started thinking "whoa this feels weird" and thus my mind was no longer empty lol

-Clouds&Dirt
 
Returning to daily journaling and reading here for a while. Things have been going generally well for me, moved out of my parents place and am living alone working a fully remote job.
Been going to the gym consistently, eating well, making time for hobbies, honestly life is great.

But... spending a lot of time alone in my apartment means that porn is easier than ever to watch. So yeah I've been relapsing, which is why I'm back here.

I plan to begin dating soon too, now that I've settled into a new place, so I really need to get this porn problem back under control.

-Clouds&Dirt
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Sounds good, happy to hear that things are working fine for you!
That probably means it'll be easier to build different habits that help you with staying away from porn. Maybe doing some hobby that requires you to meet new people, or getting out of your home?

Cheers!
 
Sounds good, happy to hear that things are working fine for you!
That probably means it'll be easier to build different habits that help you with staying away from porn. Maybe doing some hobby that requires you to meet new people, or getting out of your home?

Cheers!
Yeah that's a good point, thanks! I haven't really been very social since I don't know anyone in the area. Most of my socializing is on the phone or on a videogame. I'll look into things that can help me meet people in the area
 
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