So where to start? Well after reading and researching this after years of having not the best sexual encounters, I've finally accepted that I probably have some PIED and performance anxiety. I'm currently on my 7th day on no PM and am going strong so far although I wanted to start a journal to help with my own accountability.
I grew up on porn, probably from around 16 I started watching daily and it became a routine to have a 20 minute session before bed each night. Sometimes 2-3 times a day if it suited me. I'm pretty sure this effected the way I looked and viewed girls, and for sure gave me social anxiety around them. I was always very resistant to get a girlfriend and only had my first relationship when I was 20, I'm 24 now.
Me and this girl love each other a lot, but sex has been an issue for us from the start. I was so nervous when I got into the relationship with her, I would be constantly hard but be very anxious about sex as I knew she had more experience than me and I had only had a few one night stands. My erection issues weren't a known issue at this point it was just pure nervousness. Anyway, we finally after a few months started having sex and things were good at first, until one day I hurt my penis slightly during sex which made me lose my erection.
This started to bring doubts and worries about my penis not working, so I went to the doctor to check it out, no real issues just maybe some slight bruising occurred. However, during that time I started masturbating more to 'prove' it worked and also fell back into not having sex with my girl and more oral, foreplay etc.
Anyway, the bottom line is the sex never recovered to a satisfying standard, and when covid hit we didn't see each other for months meaning I continued to watch porn and masturbate daily. The relationship eventually ended really due to this (early 2021), and the fact it was making me depressed and she wasn't being very supportive of my situation. I must say I didn't know I had PIED or what was wrong with me, I just kinda thought I was depressed anxious and maybe that's why I couldn't keep it up.
Fast forward to late 2022, and we've found each other again. She's been in another relationship, and I have had a few short term girls, with some very mixed experiences regarding sex. I also started messing with Viagra (usually a half) during this time to see if this helped me, which it did sometimes on days I had a higher libido but sometimes failed.
I'm back with this girl now, and I'm sure we're meant for each other, the emotional connection I have with her is like no one else and I'm so attracted to her, it makes me feel sick inside that I can't actually have sex with her which is what I want so badly. It's like my body and brain just don't talk to each other. When we started seeing each other again, we did manage to have sex (with Viagra) and it was good but quite short as I stopped early thinking about my erection and the fact I struggle to finish. I've started to feel the anxiety creep in over the last few weeks and last week the dreaded floppy dick occurred again. She is always confused and doesn't understand really why it happens and I can never give a great explanation (I haven't talked about any addiction theories yet). It worries me that she might end things again over this and this makes me more anxious about having to perform even though I've started no PM and have read that there is times of flatlining and low libido which could make for some awkward times.
I'm seeing her again tonight and am going to continue to take viagra to help with confidence as I feel like we still need to try to have sex to keep the relationship going and her satisfied. I'm planning to tell her about nofap (not sure about the porn issue) and that I'm doing this to benefit the relationship and sort myself out. My mood is quite good overall one week in and I'm determined to tackle this. I feel quite horny a lot of the time but it doesn't seem like my dick responds much. I have been having morning wood most days still which I guess is a positive but this was never an issue really.
Feel like my situation is a bit weird as its tackling it with a girl that broke up with me because of this really, but if anyone has any advice on it as I work through the days on this it would be appreciated. Good luck everyone.
Mood: 7/10 Libido: 4/10
I grew up on porn, probably from around 16 I started watching daily and it became a routine to have a 20 minute session before bed each night. Sometimes 2-3 times a day if it suited me. I'm pretty sure this effected the way I looked and viewed girls, and for sure gave me social anxiety around them. I was always very resistant to get a girlfriend and only had my first relationship when I was 20, I'm 24 now.
Me and this girl love each other a lot, but sex has been an issue for us from the start. I was so nervous when I got into the relationship with her, I would be constantly hard but be very anxious about sex as I knew she had more experience than me and I had only had a few one night stands. My erection issues weren't a known issue at this point it was just pure nervousness. Anyway, we finally after a few months started having sex and things were good at first, until one day I hurt my penis slightly during sex which made me lose my erection.
This started to bring doubts and worries about my penis not working, so I went to the doctor to check it out, no real issues just maybe some slight bruising occurred. However, during that time I started masturbating more to 'prove' it worked and also fell back into not having sex with my girl and more oral, foreplay etc.
Anyway, the bottom line is the sex never recovered to a satisfying standard, and when covid hit we didn't see each other for months meaning I continued to watch porn and masturbate daily. The relationship eventually ended really due to this (early 2021), and the fact it was making me depressed and she wasn't being very supportive of my situation. I must say I didn't know I had PIED or what was wrong with me, I just kinda thought I was depressed anxious and maybe that's why I couldn't keep it up.
Fast forward to late 2022, and we've found each other again. She's been in another relationship, and I have had a few short term girls, with some very mixed experiences regarding sex. I also started messing with Viagra (usually a half) during this time to see if this helped me, which it did sometimes on days I had a higher libido but sometimes failed.
I'm back with this girl now, and I'm sure we're meant for each other, the emotional connection I have with her is like no one else and I'm so attracted to her, it makes me feel sick inside that I can't actually have sex with her which is what I want so badly. It's like my body and brain just don't talk to each other. When we started seeing each other again, we did manage to have sex (with Viagra) and it was good but quite short as I stopped early thinking about my erection and the fact I struggle to finish. I've started to feel the anxiety creep in over the last few weeks and last week the dreaded floppy dick occurred again. She is always confused and doesn't understand really why it happens and I can never give a great explanation (I haven't talked about any addiction theories yet). It worries me that she might end things again over this and this makes me more anxious about having to perform even though I've started no PM and have read that there is times of flatlining and low libido which could make for some awkward times.
I'm seeing her again tonight and am going to continue to take viagra to help with confidence as I feel like we still need to try to have sex to keep the relationship going and her satisfied. I'm planning to tell her about nofap (not sure about the porn issue) and that I'm doing this to benefit the relationship and sort myself out. My mood is quite good overall one week in and I'm determined to tackle this. I feel quite horny a lot of the time but it doesn't seem like my dick responds much. I have been having morning wood most days still which I guess is a positive but this was never an issue really.
Feel like my situation is a bit weird as its tackling it with a girl that broke up with me because of this really, but if anyone has any advice on it as I work through the days on this it would be appreciated. Good luck everyone.
Mood: 7/10 Libido: 4/10