BrassBalls707
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Day 5/30
Unbusting my balls
- Thread starter BrassBalls707
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BrassBalls707
Active Member
I've been very busy with helping with renovations. On the astronomically small offchance I get an urge, I simply think "This is not what I need or want right now." and it becomes easy to swat them away day by day. I do worry that overexhaustion and my persisting sleep routine issues (it's gotten better, less backslides and I still get 8+hrs a night) will compromise me.
Another player has entered the game as well. I'm en route to figuring out if this girl is dating and girlfriend material. In any case, it's got me thinking about the role of sex and intimacy in my life. I know those are not the same per se, but the prospect or frequency of sex has me anticipating relapse. The brain has all these connections that may inevitably activate and could make rebooting harder. I don't know how to go about it, but I do intend to figure it out the coming weeks. I know that there's married men on this forum, or simply men in a committed relationship. I will scout for mentions of rebooting while dating/partnered up and learn without having to make mistakes. If anyone reading this has advice on how to handle rebooting in this situation (prospecting, dating, relationship) feel free to post it in my journal here, or sending it to me privately, I'm very interested.
Truckin' on.
Another player has entered the game as well. I'm en route to figuring out if this girl is dating and girlfriend material. In any case, it's got me thinking about the role of sex and intimacy in my life. I know those are not the same per se, but the prospect or frequency of sex has me anticipating relapse. The brain has all these connections that may inevitably activate and could make rebooting harder. I don't know how to go about it, but I do intend to figure it out the coming weeks. I know that there's married men on this forum, or simply men in a committed relationship. I will scout for mentions of rebooting while dating/partnered up and learn without having to make mistakes. If anyone reading this has advice on how to handle rebooting in this situation (prospecting, dating, relationship) feel free to post it in my journal here, or sending it to me privately, I'm very interested.
Truckin' on.
BrassBalls707
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Day 6/30
BrassBalls707
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Day 7/30
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Day 8/30
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Day 9/30
BrassBalls707
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Day 10/30
BrassBalls707
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Day 11 & 12/30
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Day 13/30
BrassBalls707
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Day 14/30
Been having no urges and thoughts. I'm returning from vacation and have so many things on my mind besides. I still have worries about intimacy but they're so inconsequential at the moment. It pays to remember that "we suffer more in our mind than in reality".
I am cruising.
Been having no urges and thoughts. I'm returning from vacation and have so many things on my mind besides. I still have worries about intimacy but they're so inconsequential at the moment. It pays to remember that "we suffer more in our mind than in reality".
I am cruising.
BrassBalls707
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Day 15 & 16/30
BrassBalls707
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Day 17/30
BrassBalls707
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Day 18/30
I was recently reminded that my ADD medication may impact libido, as it also works as an antidepressant. Perhaps this is why rebooting has been so easy lately, although I don't want to undermine the progress I've made in other things. It does beg the question, and I believe I should be wary of myself when I haven't taken the medication, since it may enable more triggers or increase urge and relapse risk.
I was recently reminded that my ADD medication may impact libido, as it also works as an antidepressant. Perhaps this is why rebooting has been so easy lately, although I don't want to undermine the progress I've made in other things. It does beg the question, and I believe I should be wary of myself when I haven't taken the medication, since it may enable more triggers or increase urge and relapse risk.
BrassBalls707
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Day 19/30
BrassBalls707
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Day 20/30
I saw a livestreamer playing a game I was curious for, and she had cleavage showing. I was a restless for the rest of the day, stressed and anxious for a job interview and chores. I slept less than 8 hours the night before, and this cocktail resulted in urges since a relatively long time of having none. It seems that this formula is indicative of a relapse.
risk factor + triggers = relapse
where risk factor = sleep deficit
and triggers = revealing clothing and negative emotion
I caught myself. Awareness precedes control. It was easier to take corrective action and alleviate stress and anxiety by handling the causes. I'm proud.
Onwards.
I saw a livestreamer playing a game I was curious for, and she had cleavage showing. I was a restless for the rest of the day, stressed and anxious for a job interview and chores. I slept less than 8 hours the night before, and this cocktail resulted in urges since a relatively long time of having none. It seems that this formula is indicative of a relapse.
risk factor + triggers = relapse
where risk factor = sleep deficit
and triggers = revealing clothing and negative emotion
I caught myself. Awareness precedes control. It was easier to take corrective action and alleviate stress and anxiety by handling the causes. I'm proud.
Onwards.
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BrassBalls707
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Day 21/30
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Day 22/30
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Day 23/30
BrassBalls707
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Day 24/30
Despite not relapsing, I seem to have missed reporting on two days earlier this month. I'm going to continue counting from 27 tomorrow so the end of this month aligns with my 30-day goal as I intended for it to.
As reward, I believe I will buy myself a gift or schedule a fun activity I've been putting off in favor of career and family priorities.
Despite not relapsing, I seem to have missed reporting on two days earlier this month. I'm going to continue counting from 27 tomorrow so the end of this month aligns with my 30-day goal as I intended for it to.
As reward, I believe I will buy myself a gift or schedule a fun activity I've been putting off in favor of career and family priorities.
BrassBalls707
Active Member
Day 27 & 28/30
In two days, I will have abstained for a whole 30 days from porn, masturbation and orgasm in any order or combination. I am proud of my accomplishments in rebooting. It's undeniably proof that I can master myself and live a life of choice and not wanton compulsions. This is an irrefutable sign of hope, a weapon I now have at the ready against any self-doubt or addicted inner voice.
Proper technology use and the habits that propagate it have been pivotal, but there is room for improvement. There is also improvement required regarding sleep. Emotional recognition and processing comes far easier.
I am looking forward to what else I can learn about myself.
Onwards to another 30 days, one day at a time.
In two days, I will have abstained for a whole 30 days from porn, masturbation and orgasm in any order or combination. I am proud of my accomplishments in rebooting. It's undeniably proof that I can master myself and live a life of choice and not wanton compulsions. This is an irrefutable sign of hope, a weapon I now have at the ready against any self-doubt or addicted inner voice.
Proper technology use and the habits that propagate it have been pivotal, but there is room for improvement. There is also improvement required regarding sleep. Emotional recognition and processing comes far easier.
I am looking forward to what else I can learn about myself.
Onwards to another 30 days, one day at a time.