Hey
@Hunter_, I know how this feels, as do many of us here. The problem with this shit is that we've done it for so long, that it literally is one with us, and to have real breakup with it is very hard to do, even if you know you should. Don't beat yourself up about this though, although it's understandable and my middle name is Mr. Self Loathing, at the end of the day, it does nothing for you. Trust me.
Furthermore, I'm not assuming here, I'm just thinking out loud, there are many people in this life, that want this or that. Some want to be a rock star, others to climb Mt. Everest etc., however, these are all wishes and not goals. The difference between a man wanting to get to Everest and a man training to get to Everest, are night and day and would never be confused with one another. The same goes for a guy wanting to be a rock star, but, not wanting to put in all the hours and years of unsexy practice to be that good and actually make it. Now I'm not saying you're half-assing it, only you can know that, but what I am asking you to do is really ask the question,
am I only wishing to climb Mt. Everest or am I actually training to?
I know for myself, back when I was looking at porn, both before knowing it was bad for me, and also afterwards, for many years I would say I didn't want to look at porn, and "wished" I could stop. However, one day after I wacked off for the 10,000th time and saw myself in my cum-drenched computer screen I asked myself
What the fuck am I doing? After that day almost five years ago, although it hasn't been a perfect run, my life has completely changed. Why? Because that day I decided to climb my own Mt. Everest instead of watching reruns of Everest IMAX on YouTube.
Now there's nothing wrong with wanting to quit porn or wish to quit. But it's not the same as actually deciding to do it no matter the odds against you.
So my question to you is this. If porn is your Everest and you truly want to climb it once and for all. What training do you need to accomplish, to climb this beast and see that glorious sunset on the mountain top?
- What tools do you need?
- What people do you need?
- What books?
- What accountability?
- Is this forum enough or will you need something else to back you up when you start to slid down the peak?
Only you know the answers to these questions and these questions will be different for all of us.
And once again for clarification, I'm NOT saying you're half-assing it. But what I am saying is that our minds have a great ability of telling us
we're going all the way, when in fact, were sitting on our couches eating chips instead of training at 4 A.M. in the morning.
Best brother.
Blondie