Believe in the Process

Hunter_

Active Member
Day 18

When reading the first chapter of YBOP, i am realising my first encounter to porn is due to boredom, then when I want to quit it, even after putting geniune efforts i relapsed countless times which directly lead me to stress and depression. To solve the problem of stress i jumped again into the filth without know that is the source of the problem.

I felt the same way after watching P as this rebooter, which he mentioned in book:
"I was not living life, but I was not dead either. I was a zombie."

This feeling of not living life nor was not dead is worst ever feeling and i wish even my enemy should not get this situation.

I want to take my life back, till that i will keep fighting.
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Can you keep a list of things to do when you are bored? Preferably things that lead to the rewards of accomplishment, better health, etc.
 

Hunter_

Active Member
Can you keep a list of things to do when you are bored? Preferably things that lead to the rewards of accomplishment, better health, etc.
Previously without second thought i would have jumped in YouTube whenever I got bored, but now after relapsed many times by YouTube triggers, i am gradually shifting from watching YouTube to things like using Duolingo, spending time here at RN, reading books, spending quality time with my roommate.
 

Hunter_

Active Member
Day 21 - 5 more days for longest streak

Today, I completed my 75 days streak in Duolingo.
IMG_20230306_204315.jpg

Without P, I am experiencing greater satisfaction in utlizing my time productively and actively pursuing personal development. However, i continuously remind myself each day that there is still ample progress to be made to completely cross the other side.
 

Hunter_

Active Member
Day 22

Toady was not-so-good day. From the morning i was having urges which was further enhanced by some women's day ad in LinkedIn. Yes, even LinkedIn is becoming a trigger for me😅.
To overcome it, i spend around 25 mins writing and reflecting my feeling in my personal diary in very elaborate manner, due to which the urges eventually reduced.
But again in the evening i had this strong urge coming back, giving the dopamine drops to the brain to go back to the filth again, which I didn't. However, i did M using imagination to release the tension. Now I feel, i have the control.

See you all on day 23!
 

TypeN

Active Member
Day 22

Toady was not-so-good day. From the morning i was having urges which was further enhanced by some women's day ad in LinkedIn. Yes, even LinkedIn is becoming a trigger for me😅.
To overcome it, i spend around 25 mins writing and reflecting my feeling in my personal diary in very elaborate manner, due to which the urges eventually reduced.
But again in the evening i had this strong urge coming back, giving the dopamine drops to the brain to go back to the filth again, which I didn't. However, i did M using imagination to release the tension. Now I feel, i have the control.

See you all on day 23!

Ha ha, cracking up about the LinkedIn thing. I feel you though, triggers are everywhere!

And congrats on the DuoLingo streak, that's sick.🤘
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hey Hunter, congratulations on the 23 days and on all the good effort.

This past weeks I learned that I cannot beat this addiction only restricting myself, and that my recovery us also about gaining a meaningful life. That is, finding things that make me feel good, that give me all the energy and motivation I porn was consuming.

For me it was exercising, spending more times with friends, reading more, planning my future more....

Is different for everyone, but finding activities where you can put your energy rewiring is essential, I would say!

Maybe you can put the energy of the urges into something else than cold showers: improving your social life, taking up hobbies, or making new connections, what ever works best for you!

Keep strong, best whishes!
 

Hunter_

Active Member
Day 26 (longest streak)

Today my roommate returned to hostel, it's nearly 2 weeks, i stayed in room alone and abstained from P and also today marks my longest streak.

I am happy that by leaving P, i can take some important life decisions clearly by analysing all the different possibile outcome. Also, i Feel more optimistic about life.
 
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