My Journal and Story

[Extubar]

Long story short— Been at PMO since 15, 35 now. My tastes have escalated over time in porn. Have mostly used it to medicate my feelings of inadequacy, low and loneliness due to having a small penis, small testicles, and erectile dysfunction. Every relationship I’ve had has failed due to my ED and not being able to sustain a healthy mindset for natural sex, always reverting back to either porn or fantasizing about my significant other being a part of a fantasy scene. I’m tired of this. It’s turned me into a sissy in many ways, and I want to break the bondage and be free again, like I once was before I took a dose of this artificial poison for the first time.
I PMO’d out of boredom this morning, so tomorrow will be my first actual journal entry.
Let’s do this.

 

[Blondie]

Welcome @Extubar, this is the beginning to a great journey.

 

[MartinMecher]

Welcome and you did a great step for beginning this journey! I wish you the very best. You will do it.

 

[Extubar]

Thank you for the support!
Day 1:
Laid in bed most of the day, like it seems a normally do now a days on my weekends, sigh. Ate junk food all weekend. I think when I relapse to PMO, I find comfort in bad food to help alleviate my internal guilt. Shared a meal and a movie with my mother. Need to make a more concerted effort to keep my smartphone out of my bedroom. Urges were low today, probably because my dopamine hasn’t re-upped yet from all the PMO I did yesterday.