Phase 2: Eradication Endeavour

QanWaz

Member
Phase 1: Background

I have been on Rebootnation for 2 months before. I did my reboot from Aug 3- Oct 3 2022 by the title "If you ejaculate without stimulation, see the journey".
Long story short, I went from not being able to control my Ejaculation just by seeing any girl's thies or hip to strong erection while watching fully naked women. How I did it? I just abandoned almost everything related to girls like everything ( social media, fitness girls, movies, songs, porn obviously) for 2 months. I documented the whole journey in above mentioned thread. Check out if you need details about my emotional conditions and how I handled that.

Interphase period:

After completing my 62nd day on Oct3rd, I relapsed to check if could now control. It turned out positive that I had strong erection while watching full fledged content again. I started going on and off during these interphase period of 4 months. I was sober for a month TWICE in this period by hooking myself with old habits in the name of checking my condition with porn induced ejaculation. In addition to that, I was sober for 10 days, 15 days and one week many times. To top that, I was not a regular porn consumer to the extend that I hardly had porn on two days in a row. But after all, I relapsed many times in the excuse of checking my control.

Sobriety Positives:

After my two months of sobriety, a lot goods things started to happen. Some of which are fallowing;
1. I got back the control of my Ejaculation while watching girl's thies or hip. Instead, I started arousing before reaching climax like normally.
2. My refectory period got shortened. (3 mins)
3. I was able to cum multiple times in one go (3 times easily & 4 times max)
4. My depression and anxiety vanished completely and started meeting people more openly and happily.
5. My sleep got much better and sound.
6. I became much more active in my routine chores, tasks and studies in sobriety period.
7. My memory got improved.
8. Above all, I started feeling happiness and gratitude in everything even in the sound of birds chirping.

Interphase (Relapse) Negatives:

After 2 months of the toughest sobriety and relapsing again and again in interphase period of 4 months, I started noticing some gross things in myself. Some of them are;
1. I became lazy and comfortable in interphase period.
2. I started seeing myself as guilty of not extending the sobriety beyond just 2 months.
3. I couldn't muster up the courage to put myself out here again to explain this interphase period and story of my relapse. Means I felt a little cowardice.
4. After relapsing many times, I'm losing confidence that I can't win this battle.
5. Now, whenever I PMO for multiple times, I feel intense pain in my dick which subsides after few hours.
6. I'm losing my weight and muscle. Totally out of shape. Skin going dull and dry. Energy level is terrible.
7. Although, I don't ejaculate now by just watching girls' thies or hips, but I still can't hold myself beyond few jerks.
8. Fear of future is kicking my ass that I couldn't be able to have healthy sex with any real life human being.
9. I'm scared of the fact that I think I disguised myself everytime I relapsed by saying I'm checking my progress which was not true. In reality, addiction was always there and I did relapse because of my addiction. Will it end someday?

Phase 2: Eradication Endeavour

This time around, I've decided to get clean completely means from my soul for several reasons. Some of them are;
1. I'm glad that when I started my phase 1 thread, I wished if had control on ejaculation without stimulation which is now in my hands. Now, I just need to eradicate the root cause of my addiction which the QUICK-FIX OF REAL-LIFE PAINS. I'm going to face all my fears genuinely and won't let PMO serve as an escape.
2. Have tried almost everything related to PMO for years but haven't tried sobriety even for one year.
3. Sobriety of just 2 months bore unimaginable fruits. What if abstain for 3 months, 100 days or for a whole year. What would be my confidence? What would be my physical health? What would be my life perspective? Would there be any accomplishment bigger than this?


How would I do it?
Will throw light on it tomorrow.
I have been an achiever in almost everything I did in my life. Hope I won't leave this with any regret! May God help me along the way🤲.
 
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