I was working outside today when an attractive woman jogged by. I noticed her but I didn’t go out of my way to examine her. I felt some what of a flutter and a small rush but I carried on with my work and didn’t make a big deal about it. This used to send me into a frenzy and was one of my biggest triggers. I would objectify like it was the only thing I knew how to do. This made me feel anxious with a sense of lack and being deprived. Eventually, I would tell myself this is the porn shaped hole in my heart that can only be filled with PMO. What an illusion that was! Sure, I would “take care” of the urge but at the cost of feeling lifeless and depressed. Now, at the brink of turning 30, I realize the trap I was in for the past 20 years. Porn can’t fix a damn thing.