For a life worth living

Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
AJ7 said:
Now for the relapse. These aren’t excuses but I do feel like it is important to share what put me in a low and vulnerable state to learn from it. I just got back from a vacation celebrating my 30th birthday. It was a great time but I consumed a lot of junk food and alcohol and did not get the best sleep. There were also multiple triggers that I should have handled better like having my guard up around attractive women. I cracked the door just a little and the itch started and I started thinking illogically.
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This happens @AJ7, all bad habits lead to other ones forming. Just recently I was drinking and snacking more than I should have been. Why? Well I was stressed and I "deserved" it. However, one of the main reasons I started snacking was because I hate being drunk and hungover the next day, thus, I started to snack while I drank to ease the pain in the morning, naturally this lead to more drinking! Then I would wake up and see I was gaining pounds in the morning, hate myself, then start all over again in the night. None of these things are bad in of themselves (besides porn), but it is just the overindulgence of them, and how it often leads to other things and bad habits forming.

In a couple of week I'll be going on vacation with my lady, and we'll definitely be having a good time, however, until then, I'll be keeping my head down and not overindulging and finding other ways to get my "high".

Moderation is really king when it comes to all of this. Once in a while it's okay, especially if you can do so without relapsing, but in general, it's best to keep it simple until you can get a hold on this porn thing.

Best
 
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AJ7

AJ7

Active Member
Day 1
Androg said:
Care to share more about what set you back? Do you need support?
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I was at a funeral last weekend and encountered a bunch of extended family and family friends - some of which I’m not too fond of. I think what got me was the relief of getting away from that gathering. I was anxious all weekend and when I was finally able to go home I thought “oh, thank god I can finally relax now” which lowered my guard. There are other things that played a role in the relapse but ultimately there is no rational excuse. I can find better ways to cope with these emotions and must put them in action.
 
Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
These things happen @AJ7, and now it's good that you are aware of them. They can really take you by surprise sometimes and before you know it, you're back in your old ways.

You got this.
 
AJ7

AJ7

Active Member
Day 2


Blondie said:
These things happen @AJ7, and now it's good that you are aware of them. They can really take you by surprise sometimes and before you know it, you're back in your old ways.

You got this.
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This is so true @Blondie. Ironically, I was just reading a book by Joe Dispenza called Becoming Supernatural where he explains what you said. In it, he says that our thoughts create the chemical messengers throughout our body which produce our emotions and these emotions can in turn create more thoughts causing us to be stuck in a perpetual cycle of stress, anger, sadness or whatever the emotion may be. And before we know it, one single thought has this profound effect on our mental, physical and emotional state of being. A major tenet of his teachings is that we need to control our thoughts if we want to break the story of our habitual past. Typing this out is great reminder to me of the importance of meditation and raising my self awareness to catch those thoughts that can create so much havoc.
 
AJ7

AJ7

Active Member
Day 3

Had a special moment out of something that would appear mundane on the surface the other night. I was home alone sitting on a step and petting my dogs. No tv on or anything. Out of nowhere I deeply pondered the fact that I only have so many days left on this planet. I didn’t experience any dread or fear from that thought. It actually gave me a lot of appreciation for the moment where I was just enjoying the time with my dogs. For a bit I didn’t worry about what I had to do the next day or anything else. Sometimes I come home from work and go into auto pilot where I make food, watch tv and go to bed while not giving my dogs the attention they’re wanting. I’m going to let petting my dogs be a reminder to me to slow down every now and then and give my brain a break and just enjoy being alive.
 
AJ7

AJ7

Active Member
Day 5

After meditating this morning I thought about the reasons I want to quit porn. Happiness is definitely a huge reason but I wanted to think beyond any positive emotions I get from staying away from pmo. Something that came to me was the fact that I’m more likely to have a positive impact on other people if I am porn-free. Even something small like smiling at another person is much more likely when I stay away from pmo. This is something I’ll have to reflect on often and keep as a beacon to head in the right direction.
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
This selflessness is the ideal motivation, actually. But it arises naturally as our brains come back into balance.

We may quit for selfish reasons, but we stay with it most easily for larger ideals.
 
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