When Will I Ever Learn...

MaseJ

Member
About a month ago, I decided to join RN because like many of you, I wanted a better life free from bad habits. While recovery is a journey and not always linear, I find the addiction to porn and masturbation so hard to conquer.

I've been addicted to porn/masturbation for almost 30+ years. Just saying that feels unbelievable. So knowing that, I should expect that recovery will be a long road. This painful fact became quite apparent recently.

Over the years, I've tried to quit porn 'cold turkey' but that only lasted about 10 days. So I decided to join an online support group which led me to RN. It has been comforting knowing there are other men out there facing similar struggles. Thanks to connecting to other men on this platform I had my longest porn/masturbation free streak - 22 days. While this doesn't seem like a lot compared to others on here but this is a personal victory and the longest I've ever lasted.

Sadly, I relapsed this week, but I don't want to be too hard on myself. I just need to persevere and keep trying. It's worth the struggle.

Just needed to say that...
 

GBS

Respected Member
Good luck. You need discipline and the ability to dust yourself down and go again if you relapse. Read loads. As you probably know this is about mending your brain. Understand that. It’s so vital.

And journal rather than masturbate……
 

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
About a month ago, I decided to join RN because like many of you, I wanted a better life free from bad habits. While recovery is a journey and not always linear, I find the addiction to porn and masturbation so hard to conquer.

I've been addicted to porn/masturbation for almost 30+ years. Just saying that feels unbelievable. So knowing that, I should expect that recovery will be a long road. This painful fact became quite apparent recently.

Over the years, I've tried to quit porn 'cold turkey' but that only lasted about 10 days. So I decided to join an online support group which led me to RN. It has been comforting knowing there are other men out there facing similar struggles. Thanks to connecting to other men on this platform I had my longest porn/masturbation free streak - 22 days. While this doesn't seem like a lot compared to others on here but this is a personal victory and the longest I've ever lasted.

Sadly, I relapsed this week, but I don't want to be too hard on myself. I just need to persevere and keep trying. It's worth the struggle.

Just needed to say that...

@MaseJ just cold turkey isn't enough. You need to recover by replacement. That means you need to relearn how to live a normal life and gain happiness through normal living.
For this you need to actively recognize and seek normal life happiness.
So far the effective way for me has been
1. Lots of gratitude and appreciation
2. Recognizing all the small daily achievements you've made
3. Rewarding yourself in healthy ways
4. Very active journalling to aid recognition and reflection.

And you need to endure at least 90 days without P, ideally without M and O too.


Abstinence without replacement is just vacuum. You'd go back to P quickly. Replacement is the real key to success.

Many people have done it. You can too!
 

MaseJ

Member
Good luck. You need discipline and the ability to dust yourself down and go again if you relapse. Read loads. As you probably know this is about mending your brain. Understand that. It’s so vital.

And journal rather than masturbate……
Thank you GBS. You're right. During the 22 days porn-free, I could feel the chemistry in my brain changing and it felt good to have the fog lift. I need to remind myself more and more how good that felt. Here's to trying to fill the void in healthier ways...
 

MaseJ

Member
@MaseJ just cold turkey isn't enough. You need to recover by replacement. That means you need to relearn how to live a normal life and gain happiness through normal living.
For this you need to actively recognize and seek normal life happiness.
So far the effective way for me has been
1. Lots of gratitude and appreciation
2. Recognizing all the small daily achievements you've made
3. Rewarding yourself in healthy ways
4. Very active journalling to aid recognition and reflection.

And you need to endure at least 90 days without P, ideally without M and O too.


Abstinence without replacement is just vacuum. You'd go back to P quickly. Replacement is the real key to success.

Many people have done it. You can too!
Thank you TakeActionNow. I believe what you say is true. When I think about what triggered my replapse, it was due to a lack of replacement. I rewarded my 22 days by viewing porn again. Can't believe I'm saying that. I actually thought I deserved a reward and watching porn was the reward.

I really like your steps. I'll try to follow them and see how I can approach the journey differently this time. I recently joined a gym, so perhaps that can be the replacement. :)
 
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