I'm 24, and I'm scared

A

Andrew Wiggin

Member
Hi, so I started another journal in 2021 but then left it and things got worse... So much worse.

I'm not going to do a long recollection of my mistakes; I do that already in my head every day. I want to use this as a day counter and as a place to go to whenever I have something to say about my struggles.

I would like to say that as for now this is day 0, and that I suffer from porn addiction (for 5 years now) and what I would call chronic masturbation. I say this because for the past few months I've done this to the point of actually hurting myself and bleeding, because I want to get it back up again right after orgasm.
If anyone has dealt with something similar in the past, your insights would be helpeful.

Thanks. Wish me luck.
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
You are not alone. The founder of NoFap spoke out about similar injuries from too much "self-love." Welcome back. Have you tried exercise? Meditation? It will get easier over time, but be ready for cravings at first. You can do it! Someone posted this link here. I don't know if it's useful, but you could check it out: www.pornaddictsanonymous.org.
 
A

Andrew Wiggin

Member
Androg said:
You are not alone. The founder of NoFap spoke out about similar injuries from too much "self-love." Welcome back. Have you tried exercise? Meditation? It will get easier over time, but be ready for cravings at first. You can do it! Someone posted this link here. I don't know if it's useful, but you could check it out: www.pornaddictsanonymous.org.
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Thank you for the encouragement. I will check out the site and yes, I am planning on lifting weights, as soon as I get better from a surgery.
 
A

Andrew Wiggin

Member
Day 1
Cravings are there, but it's funny how when you actually set your mind to change, falling back seems like a huge deal now. The thought alone of starting all over from cero is crushing, and the physicality of seeing progress in writing helps to avoid temptation.
 
TryingHarder

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Yes, indeed. One day at a time. If you can do one day, you can do two. If you can do two days, you can do a week. Then two weeks. Then a month. I'm currently at almost 11 months no PMO.

Do what you can to break up your usual routine. Go for walks. Get out with friends. Arrange your shirts in alphabetical order. Take a class. Do whatever it takes to mess up the trail of breadcrumbs that lead you back to porn.
 
A

Andrew Wiggin

Member
TryingHarder said:
Yes, indeed. One day at a time. If you can do one day, you can do two. If you can do two days, you can do a week. Then two weeks. Then a month. I'm currently at almost 11 months no PMO.

Do what you can to break up your usual routine. Go for walks. Get out with friends. Arrange your shirts in alphabetical order. Take a class. Do whatever it takes to mess up the trail of breadcrumbs that lead you back to porn.
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Love it. Thank you so much.
Not having been able to open up about my struggles with friends and family, you don't know how much good it does to have you people. Thanks.

One day at a time, like Androg said.

Thank you
 
A

Andrew Wiggin

Member
Day 3
I dangerously went close to my triggers, like Netflix and Instagram, and fell into behaviour patterns that do not contribute to my progress as a person but turn me more into a couch potato. I have to work on that.
Because of it I felt the strength of my cravings getting stronger, but still was able to stay away. But it was dumb. Keeping that in mind for today.
 
K

Kraken

Well-Known Member
Great work so far, I’m sending you long distance positive vibes from someone who’s been there. A few times when I was younger I had some slight bleeding and scabbing from the friction of pmoing too much and without lubricant. In my case, I took break and it healed just fine. If your injury is more severe or if you are concerned, you should get medical attention from a doctor or other professional.

The great thing about momentum is that it only takes two. Two minutes, two hours, days, weeks, months, years. It builds on itself and you get stronger as time passes. You can do this thing and you will gain so many wonderful skills needed for life that have nothing to do with pmo. What’s your dream, your vision? What would you like your life to become?
 
A

Andrew Wiggin

Member
Kraken said:
Great work so far, I’m sending you long distance positive vibes from someone who’s been there. A few times when I was younger I had some slight bleeding and scabbing from the friction of pmoing too much and without lubricant. In my case, I took break and it healed just fine. If your injury is more severe or if you are concerned, you should get medical attention from a doctor or other professional.

The great thing about momentum is that it only takes two. Two minutes, two hours, days, weeks, months, years. It builds on itself and you get stronger as time passes. You can do this thing and you will gain so many wonderful skills needed for life that have nothing to do with pmo. What’s your dream, your vision? What would you like your life to become?
Click to expand...
Thank you so much. You give me lots of encouragement.
Sad to hear you had to deal with something like that; but glad you're doing ok.
I'm healing quite well; it wasn't as bad.

I'll answer your question in a bit.
 
TryingHarder

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
Whenever you relapse, treat it as a chance to learn. What happened? What led you back to porn? What will you do differently next time?

Remember: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 😜 Something that has worked for a lot of guys is seriously limiting your time on the internet. Easier said than done, but it certainly worked for me.
 
A

Andrew Wiggin

Member
Day 1
These past few days were everything of what I want to leave behind me.
It was a tough fall, but it made me realize why I want to stop my bad habits.
So, here we go again
 
A

Andrew Wiggin

Member
I had a big set back, but now I have help; someone close to me, who loves me, is helping me to stay away from my triggers. I cannot say how much it helps to get rid of shame, while still feeling ashamed for my actions, (does it make sense?), and letting people help you. There is nothing so awful as to fight this alone. I say this, who has been trying to do it alone for over 4 years... Don't. Ask for help.

Day 1
 
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