Andrew Wiggin
Member
Here we goAnnnnd….They’re off!!!
Here we goAnnnnd….They’re off!!!
Absolutely. PMO becomes medication. Or, how I like to describe it, a "break". PMO (and alcohol) were breaks for me. Pleasure and sedation put the suffering and discomfort on a pause for a while. They are a distraction. Had a shit day at college? Go home and PMO to "take a break" from that bad feeling. A girl rejected me? Go home and PMO. Or get something to drink on the way home, PMO then drink. With time, almost every day was shit for me and not because they were, but because I reached a point in which I depended on PMO (and alcohol too although I didn't drink every day, PMO was every day), to regulate my mood. I was no longer able to deal with my day to day life in a good way so I relied on that sedative feeling of dopamine released at the thought that I could always go home and jerk off to porn for a break, or a "reward" for enduring a "shit day". Then alcohol started to happen on more than Saturday night. Before I knew, I was PMOing and edging every day and drinking 4 times a week. So yes, those things become your anti-depressant. They are, ultimately, drugs. They alter your mood. That's why there is no point in going back to that shit.Day 4
Yesterday something weird happened. I got very angry at school with a teacher and some classmates over a cancelation of classes with very little time of warning. I don't live close by the school so it felt like a waste of time.
When I went back home I still could feel the anger in my limbs, and somehow I felt urges; I don't know, maybe it was my body remembering that in the past I have used stressfull situations as pretexts to go back to porn.
I was able to do something else, and homework and get all that out of my head; but the idea was there. I'm glad I was able to notice it.
I just wanted to have a record of the fact, and maybe ask if someone has had that or something similar happen to them.
Meanwhile, still in the fight.
Have a great day.
This is very insightful. Thank you.Absolutely. PMO becomes medication. Or, how I like to describe it, a "break". PMO (and alcohol) were breaks for me. Pleasure and sedation put the suffering and discomfort on a pause for a while. They are a distraction. Had a shit day at college? Go home and PMO to "take a break" from that bad feeling. A girl rejected me? Go home and PMO. Or get something to drink on the way home, PMO then drink. With time, almost every day was shit for me and not because they were, but because I reached a point in which I depended on PMO (and alcohol too although I didn't drink every day, PMO was every day), to regulate my mood. I was no longer able to deal with my day to day life in a good way so I relied on that sedative feeling of dopamine released at the thought that I could always go home and jerk off to porn for a break, or a "reward" for enduring a "shit day". Then alcohol started to happen on more than Saturday night. Before I knew, I was PMOing and edging every day and drinking 4 times a week. So yes, those things become your anti-depressant. They are, ultimately, drugs. They alter your mood. That's why there is no point in going back to that shit.
Amazing! I'm also on day 5.Day 5
Very busy day yesterday.
Let's make today ours!![]()
Hey! That's awesome!Amazing! I'm also on day 5.