Social anxiety - Exposure therapy - My experience

Lately I'm mostly outside in the city, because the sun is shining again.

I walk every day for about 1 hour. I watch people eating, drinking, walking, talking, chatting, laughing, etc.

I look almost every person in the face. Sometimes I am at the train station at a special place where a lot of people pass through. I look almost every person in the face. I spend my time there. This also helps me against anhedonia. I see new faces, new clothes and in general I don't know what faces I will see. I have no problem with that. No anxiety. Everything is ok. I just don't feel any emotions about it. It helps with anhedonia maybe because of curiosity/novelty, but still no emotions.

I have tried exposure therapy:

Case 1: I was on a bus full of people. It was very quiet in the bus. Nobody was talking. I called a friend and tried to start a conversation. When I started talking, I suddenly started sweating. It was like I had something in my throat and I couldn't speak clearly. I lost my focus. I couldn't concentrate anymore. I couldn't hear what my friend was saying to me on the phone anymore. I tried to end the conversation on the phone as quickly as possible.

If I had had this phone conversation in a place where no one could hear me, I could have said what I wanted. This would never have happened to me. I feel "free and relaxed" when I can talk to a friend and no one else can hear me.

Case 2: I was in a park, sitting on a bench. There are many people walking around there. I called a "friend" on the phone and had a conversation with him. Everything was OK as long as no one heard me. Then an older man sat down next to me on the bench. Thus, he could hear everything I was saying to my friend on the phone. Suddenly I can't speak freely anymore. I feel tight. Like something is in my throat. I don't really have focus anymore and I can't concentrate.

When I left that bench and no one could hear me anymore, I felt very free again and I could speak as I wanted again. I could say what I wanted. I was not inhibited.

Case 3: I was on a bus full of people and someone called me and I picked up. I had exactly the same problem as before.

Case 4: I was on a train and there was a beautiful woman in front of me. She sat on the right side and I on the left side. We were only half a meter away from each other. I had no problem looking left and straight ahead to observe what was happening on the train or outside, but I tried to look to the right side where this woman was, but I felt so uncomfortable. I was thinking all the time what the woman thinks of me and that it doesn't seem like I'm looking at her because I turn my head in her direction.

General: Every time the attention is on me, I have social anxiety. I then notice the symptoms. I can sometimes speak only partially or not at all because of it. I realize that there is no reason at all to have social anxiety. I realize that every person takes care of themselves and nobody cares who you are. Nobody is watching you on the train, bus or anywhere else. Nobody is thinking about you. But do I have these triggers and it makes no sense at all.

Some might even say that social anxiety feels like paranoia.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I've been fucked regularly and nicely by social anxiety since 14 years old. Coincidentally (or not), it started when my every single day routine of masturbation to flashback was well underway. Since then it's been 18 years of constant crippling anxiety. And guess what? When I abstain from porn, my social anxiety goes way down.
 

arcana

Member
Yes, I, as a person who has gone through all these symptoms, is social anxiety, which gives symptoms like a lump in the throat and tightness. I have lived with this all my adult life, after I became a porn addict from the age of 12-13.
At the moment, I communicate easily and enjoy communicating in different places. Sometimes, when I rarely experience symptoms of flatness, social anxiety also returns to the background. These are definitely the consequences of porn.

Take any person who has a hard flat line, he will also experience the whole spectrum of these conditions.
It's just that someone did not manifest it clearly, but got out in other symptoms: depression and anxiety, etc.
We just have low brain sensitivity and anxiety finds itself and comes out this way. There is nothing here outside the brain. Of course, if you exclude other factors and injuries.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Yes, I, as a person who has gone through all these symptoms, is social anxiety, which gives symptoms like a lump in the throat and tightness. I have lived with this all my adult life, after I became a porn addict from the age of 12-13.
At the moment, I communicate easily and enjoy communicating in different places. Sometimes, when I rarely experience symptoms of flatness, social anxiety also returns to the background. These are definitely the consequences of porn.

Take any person who has a hard flat line, he will also experience the whole spectrum of these conditions.
It's just that someone did not manifest it clearly, but got out in other symptoms: depression and anxiety, etc.
We just have low brain sensitivity and anxiety finds itself and comes out this way. There is nothing here outside the brain. Of course, if you exclude other factors and injuries.
I can definitely agree with "flatline gives you social anxiety" idea. I've seen it happen with me. I mean, I don't know, I like to call it lethargy (in my case). I used to like to call it "mini-flatline" because I would have a period of days in which I experiences everything people talked about when they talked about flatline just that it didn't last months for me. So, after PMO binges, I feel lethargic for days afterwards and as a result also very social anxious (crippling). Ironically, when I'm not lethargic anymore, I go through massive urges but at the same time I'm less social anxious 🤷‍♂️ It's the brain chemistry, for sure. Porn addicts, until they fully recover, usually have the brain's neurochemistry fucked (or whatever it's called). I know I do.
 

Red Moon

Member
Lately I'm mostly outside in the city, because the sun is shining again.

I walk every day for about 1 hour. I watch people eating, drinking, walking, talking, chatting, laughing, etc.

I look almost every person in the face. Sometimes I am at the train station at a special place where a lot of people pass through. I look almost every person in the face. I spend my time there. This also helps me against anhedonia. I see new faces, new clothes and in general I don't know what faces I will see. I have no problem with that. No anxiety. Everything is ok. I just don't feel any emotions about it. It helps with anhedonia maybe because of curiosity/novelty, but still no emotions.

I have tried exposure therapy:

Case 1: I was on a bus full of people. It was very quiet in the bus. Nobody was talking. I called a friend and tried to start a conversation. When I started talking, I suddenly started sweating. It was like I had something in my throat and I couldn't speak clearly. I lost my focus. I couldn't concentrate anymore. I couldn't hear what my friend was saying to me on the phone anymore. I tried to end the conversation on the phone as quickly as possible.

If I had had this phone conversation in a place where no one could hear me, I could have said what I wanted. This would never have happened to me. I feel "free and relaxed" when I can talk to a friend and no one else can hear me.

Case 2: I was in a park, sitting on a bench. There are many people walking around there. I called a "friend" on the phone and had a conversation with him. Everything was OK as long as no one heard me. Then an older man sat down next to me on the bench. Thus, he could hear everything I was saying to my friend on the phone. Suddenly I can't speak freely anymore. I feel tight. Like something is in my throat. I don't really have focus anymore and I can't concentrate.

When I left that bench and no one could hear me anymore, I felt very free again and I could speak as I wanted again. I could say what I wanted. I was not inhibited.

Case 3: I was on a bus full of people and someone called me and I picked up. I had exactly the same problem as before.

Case 4: I was on a train and there was a beautiful woman in front of me. She sat on the right side and I on the left side. We were only half a meter away from each other. I had no problem looking left and straight ahead to observe what was happening on the train or outside, but I tried to look to the right side where this woman was, but I felt so uncomfortable. I was thinking all the time what the woman thinks of me and that it doesn't seem like I'm looking at her because I turn my head in her direction.

General: Every time the attention is on me, I have social anxiety. I then notice the symptoms. I can sometimes speak only partially or not at all because of it. I realize that there is no reason at all to have social anxiety. I realize that every person takes care of themselves and nobody cares who you are. Nobody is watching you on the train, bus or anywhere else. Nobody is thinking about you. But do I have these triggers and it makes no sense at all.

Some might even say that social anxiety feels like paranoia.
I believe you are overthinking.

Although, our subconscious doesn't care about rules or logic. We never truly know ourselves. We can't even say that we are the authors of our conscious thoughts.

I believe you just have one of many low dopamine symptoms. It is a " hardware " issue. Let your brain reward system return to default settings. Then your perception will change. Like a " drunk man ", unable to feel social anxiety.

Besides, if you have brain fog and anhedonia, you can´t be " present ", in touch with yourself. When this happens, the dynamic with other people is always fake, like a handicap. You are probably always thinking about life, this is what we do when connecting with our emotions is not possible.

Anyway, the goal of life is to be confortable in our own skin. Give it time...

" I lost my focus. I couldn't concentrate anymore " ... when you say this, i instantly think of fight or flight state !

I truly believe the problem is the " hardware " . A classic sign of PAWS is the amplification of stress. The tendency is to freeze and we don´t even know why, and then we become stuck in an endless confusion loop and scattered thoughts. If you pay attention, you will notice that if something goes beyond your routine, you will feel stress, unable to compartmentalize your thoughts and deal with the new situation in a positive way.

And once more, the keyword here is .... DOPAMINE deficiency. ( D2 Receptors )
 
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I've been fucked regularly and nicely by social anxiety since 14 years old. Coincidentally (or not), it started when my every single day routine of masturbation to flashback was well underway. Since then it's been 18 years of constant crippling anxiety. And guess what? When I abstain from porn, my social anxiety goes way down.

Interesting.

My social anxiety started when I began with PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) at the age of 13. Before that I didn't have any social anxiety.
 
Yes, I, as a person who has gone through all these symptoms, is social anxiety, which gives symptoms like a lump in the throat and tightness. I have lived with this all my adult life, after I became a porn addict from the age of 12-13.
At the moment, I communicate easily and enjoy communicating in different places. Sometimes, when I rarely experience symptoms of flatness, social anxiety also returns to the background. These are definitely the consequences of porn.

Take any person who has a hard flat line, he will also experience the whole spectrum of these conditions.
It's just that someone did not manifest it clearly, but got out in other symptoms: depression and anxiety, etc.
We just have low brain sensitivity and anxiety finds itself and comes out this way. There is nothing here outside the brain. Of course, if you exclude other factors and injuries.

We have a similair story. My social anxiety started when I started PMO at the age of 13. Before that I didn't have social anxiety.

It's so good to hear about your progress. Your story gives me hope. I feel stuck in the flatline. Every day is the same.
 
I believe you are overthinking.

Although, our subconscious doesn't care about rules or logic. We never truly know ourselves. We can't even say that we are the authors of our conscious thoughts.

I believe you just have one of many low dopamine symptoms. It is a " hardware " issue. Let your brain reward system return to default settings. Then your perception will change. Like a " drunk man ", unable to feel social anxiety.

Besides, if you have brain fog and anhedonia, you can´t be " present ", in touch with yourself. When this happens, the dynamic with other people is always fake, like a handicap. You are probably always thinking about life, this is what we do when connecting with our emotions is not possible.

Anyway, the goal of life is to be confortable in our own skin. Give it time...

" I lost my focus. I couldn't concentrate anymore " ... when you say this, i instantly think of fight or flight state !

I truly believe the problem is the " hardware " . A classic sign of PAWS is the amplification of stress. The tendency is to freeze and we don´t even know why, and then we become stuck in an endless confusion loop and scattered thoughts. If you pay attention, you will notice that if something goes beyond your routine, you will feel stress, unable to compartmentalize your thoughts and deal with the new situation in a positive way.

And once more, the keyword here is .... DOPAMINE deficiency. ( D2 Receptors )

"A classic sign of PAWS is the amplification of stress. The tendency is to freeze and we don´t even know why, and then we become stuck in an endless confusion loop and scattered thoughts. If you pay attention, you will notice that if something goes beyond your routine, you will feel stress, unable to compartmentalize your thoughts and deal with the new situation in a positive way."

That's so true! I have experienced that so many times.

->

Let's see how long the maintenance of the hardware will take... :rolleyes:
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
We have a similair story. My social anxiety started when I started PMO at the age of 13. Before that I didn't have social anxiety.

It's so good to hear about your progress. Your story gives me hope. I feel stuck in the flatline. Every day is the same.
A lot of porn addicts have been reporting problems with social anxiety (often crippling). And it makes sense why, if you think about the fact that porn abusers have their brain chemistry fucked.
 

Red Moon

Member
 
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