Anhedonia - My experience - Will this ever go away ?

I get up in the morning and I don't feel any emotions. I don't feel happy and I don't feel sad. I feel no motivation to do anything productive. I feel no drive and no energy to do anything productive. I don't feel any positive feelings or so-called vibrations in my body and in my brain. I get up and that's it. I am like a robot. I don't feel human. My facial expression is exactly the same most of the time. I look jaded, numb, bored. I look fucked up. My brain is still numb. My senses are numb. My brain feels no stimuli. Everything feels exactly the same. I have no motivation to work at all. I don't want to do anything productive. I spend my time going out into the city, walking a bit and hanging around in the city. I watch people walking, eating, talking, laughing, etc. I don't want to do anything productive.

If a person gave me 1 million Swiss francs, my brain would feel no stimulus. It is as if he had given me a piece of bread. I would just put the money in the bank and that's it. I would have no motivation to do anything with that money. I wouldn't even go travelling. That would be too exhausting.

If I were married to the most beautiful woman, I would have no interest in having sex or being intimate with her. I would sleep in my room and tell her to sleep in another room. I don't even mean it in a bad way.

Somehow it doesn't matter what time it is because everything feels exactly the same anyway. I have lost my sense of time. For me it's only important and good that it's sunny and bright, because then I can do more. I feel better when the sun is shining.

Friends and relatives sometimes tell me jokes or something about their everyday life and show emotion or laugh and I just look bored. I am always very objective and like a robot. I talk to people without emotions. I don't have any problems talking to people like that, but as soon as someone wants to talk with emotions, then I feel uncomfortable because I can't relate to those feelings. I laugh very rarely.

I don't feel any empathy or emotion towards the people who died because of the earthquakes that happened in Turkey. I don't feel anything about the refugees from Ukraine, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. either. I don't care what is happening there. That is because of my anhedonia. For me it is only important that I have enough money to eat, drink and have a shelter. I don't care what else is going on in the world.

Guys how long will my brain be numb ? This is crazy. Without emotions (especially joy) you automatically have no motivation to do anything.
 
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Are you currently working on giving up porn? Because anhedonia is a common withdrawal symptom. It's also a symptom of porn use, too - withdrawal tends to make addiction symptoms worse before they get better (don't ask me why I have no idea). If you are currently rebooting, it's different for everyone but I think about 2-3 months in people notice real improvements, but if you're heavily addicted it can be 6 months +. That doesn't mean you won't see any difference for that long, just that's how long before the cumulative change has started to be undeniably noticeable. Yes, I know that's a long time and it sucks! But there's no alternative unfortunately. And that time is going to pass anyway, whether you are fapping your life away to porn or not, so you might as well commit to nofap for as long as it takes, because when that 6 months comes and goes you'll see a real difference and know it was worth it (instead of wondering what could have been).

Incidentally, anhedonia is a typical symptom of depression generally, so if you have given up porn for a couple of months and it's still not getting better, going to a therapist and getting support might not be a terrible idea.
 
Are you currently working on giving up porn? Because anhedonia is a common withdrawal symptom. It's also a symptom of porn use, too - withdrawal tends to make addiction symptoms worse before they get better (don't ask me why I have no idea). If you are currently rebooting, it's different for everyone but I think about 2-3 months in people notice real improvements, but if you're heavily addicted it can be 6 months +. That doesn't mean you won't see any difference for that long, just that's how long before the cumulative change has started to be undeniably noticeable. Yes, I know that's a long time and it sucks! But there's no alternative unfortunately. And that time is going to pass anyway, whether you are fapping your life away to porn or not, so you might as well commit to nofap for as long as it takes, because when that 6 months comes and goes you'll see a real difference and know it was worth it (instead of wondering what could have been).

Incidentally, anhedonia is a typical symptom of depression generally, so if you have given up porn for a couple of months and it's still not getting better, going to a therapist and getting support might not be a terrible idea.

I am 39 months without porn, masturbation and conscious ejaculations.
 

Androg

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I'm guessing you need professional help. Porn use apparently isn't your issue.
 
im curious as to what the cut off is with PAWS. At what point does someone know the cause is something else?

How were you during PMO ? How were you when you stopped PMO ?

If you notice a big difference there, it's PAWS. If you get symptoms you didn't have before, it's PAWS. If you get withdrawal symptoms in general, it's PAWS. If those around you don't recognize you, it's PAWS. If you can no longer work or study, it's PAWS.

It's that simple.
 

Androg

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Experiment, if you're sure that abstinence is the source of your misery, then why are you still on your streak? This doesn't make sense to me. I can see staying away from porn if you're convinced it caused problems for you, but it makes no sense to blame abstinence...and then continue abstaining.

This forum is for people experimenting with quitting porn to see if it eases their symptoms. It's not for abstinence for its own sake or worse yet, abstinence as a form of self-torment. I'm not sure you're in the right place.

In short, if abstinence is the cause of your symptoms you should end it pronto, and not look back.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
Experiment, if you're sure that abstinence is the source of your misery, then why are you still on your streak? This doesn't make sense to me. I can see staying away from porn if you're convinced it caused problems for you, but it makes no sense to blame abstinence...and then continue abstaining.

This forum is for people experimenting with quitting porn to see if it eases their symptoms. It's not for abstinence for its own sake or worse yet, abstinence as a form of self-torment. I'm not sure you're in the right place.

In short, if abstinence is the cause of your symptoms you should end it pronto, and not look back.

well to be fair i think what he is saying is that P use long term has messed his brain up and is taking him forever to recover even with abstinence, not that the abstinence itself is causing his symptoms. is that correct?
 

Androg

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well to be fair i think what he is saying is that P use long term has messed his brain up and is taking him forever to recover even with abstinence, not that the abstinence itself is causing his symptoms. is that correct?
That's not what he said. Read above.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
That's not what he said. Read above.

Is this the statement you are referring to?

"Abstinence from PMO is the cause of my anhedonia and PAWS in general. I have no doubts about this."?

Again, I'm inclined to believe that he is saying the damage is from the P and that abstaining from it has caused these withdrawal symptoms. But maybe the OP can clarify
 
Experiment, if you're sure that abstinence is the source of your misery, then why are you still on your streak? This doesn't make sense to me. I can see staying away from porn if you're convinced it caused problems for you, but it makes no sense to blame abstinence...and then continue abstaining.

This forum is for people experimenting with quitting porn to see if it eases their symptoms. It's not for abstinence for its own sake or worse yet, abstinence as a form of self-torment. I'm not sure you're in the right place.

In short, if abstinence is the cause of your symptoms you should end it pronto, and not look back.

1. "Experiment, if you're sure that abstinence is the source of your misery, then why are you still on your streak? This doesn't make sense to me. I can see staying away from porn if you're convinced it caused problems for you, but it makes no sense to blame abstinence...and then continue abstaining."

Answer: I'm making it very easy for you:

Post acute withdrawal syndrome - Wikipedia

PAWS - American addiction center

PAWS occurs when you stop doing the following: Alcohol, drugs, medications, PMO, sex. So abstinence is the reason for PAWS. PAWS lasts 1-4 years.

Why do I actually repeat everything I already wrote in my 36 months post ? Is it so difficult to understand ? I think small children can even understand it. Here again my 36 months post that you have already read: My 36 months PAWS post

Have I reached 4 years ? No, I have not. Then why do you ask why I still remain abstinent? I really wonder how old you are. It seems like you're 10 years old. I explain it as simple as possible and still the same strange questions come up. I don't know if you are kidding me xD

2. "This forum is for people experimenting with quitting porn to see if it eases their symptoms."

A: I had already written that I had PAWS reduction in month 4, 6, 18 and 32. This means that some symptoms went away and some symptoms became weaker. This is proof enough that the process works. Again, I am repeating myself. I have already written this in my 36 months post, which you have already read.

3. "In short, if abstinence is the cause of your symptoms you should end it pronto, and not look back."

Answer: What do you smoke ? Why on earth should I end my 39 months streak ?

->

If you still don't understand what PAWS is, then I really can't help you anymore. I feel like I'm talking to a wall over and over again.

Cheers xD
 
well to be fair i think what he is saying is that P use long term has messed his brain up and is taking him forever to recover even with abstinence, not that the abstinence itself is causing his symptoms. is that correct?

1. "well to be fair i think what he is saying is that P use long term has messed his brain up and is taking him forever to recover even with abstinence,"

Answer: It seems like it will be forever, but according to my research, PAWS should last a maximum of 4 years. I am now at month 40.

2. "not that the abstinence itself is causing his symptoms. is that correct?"

Answer: "Due to abstinence from PMO, I have a chemical imbalance in my brain, which leads to PAWS. I have already explained this above to another user. Read through it. I hope you are not like the other who does not understand anything xD
 
Is this the statement you are referring to?

"Abstinence from PMO is the cause of my anhedonia and PAWS in general. I have no doubts about this."?

Again, I'm inclined to believe that he is saying the damage is from the P and that abstaining from it has caused these withdrawal symptoms. But maybe the OP can clarify

Yes you got it. I am in a PMO PAWS group and all report the same.

It is strange that people believe in PAWS from alcohol, drugs or medication, but not in PAWS from PMO.

PAWS - Wikipedia

PAWS - American addiction center

I am tired of explaining obvious issues to people. Either you want to understand or you don't want to understand. It's as simple as that xD

Cheers xD
 
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