From Day 179 back to 0

Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
Day 0

Well this is a really big bummer. I just reset my streak from 179 days of no porn back to 0.

I wasn't searching for porn, but i wasn't being totally innocent either, I had been looking at content that wasn't nude but was not helping me out at all off and on for the last couple weeks. I thought I'd be able to stop before I got into real trouble, I was wrong. I was on a website and came across a nude image on accident, but once I saw it - well I guess you can figure out the rest.

I let my guard down too much, and paid the price for it.

I'm not going to stay down though. I'm going to pick myself up, get back to doing what I need to do.

I'll write more tomorrow.
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
It happens. Remember healing from a binge is much tougher than healing from a slip. Stay strong. Sometimes urges are worse for a bit of time after a slip.

And remember...179 is spectacular!
 
Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
day 1

Thanks @Androg ... i'm determined not to go down the binge path, yesterday after I messed up I decided to post right away, even though I was tempted to keep it a secret, I want to be open on here and deal with it.

After I messed up I felt super disappointed of course, however the main thing that I recognized is how unfulfilling the whole thing was. Even though I've known this was true and has been the reason I quit from the get go, somehow after not seeing it for so long I had this curiosity of what it would be like again... well it was totally unsatisfying, I can't believe that I gave in to the temptation for such an unfulfilling moment.

I know the temptation will come back over the next couple days really strong, but I'm not giving in.
 
E

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I'm sure you've heard this to death but I had to finally agreed with the people who said: The problem is when (from whatever long streak you have), you go back to your normal porn routine. If it was an every day routine, or a few times a week or whatever, if you go back to doing that regularly again, that's a problem. One day of making a mistake with porn recovery isn't going to destroy everything. Yes, the duration matters, it matter if you edge 8 hours that day versus a 15 minutes PMO session. It matters if you PMO 7 times that day or only once. But even if they are not preferable, it's still not the end of the world, if you are not back to your normal frequency and routine, you feel me? Obviously, engaging with porn triggers the appetite hard, if you experience chaser effect it can be very nagging and difficult (I know it is for me) and the urge to PMO (just one more time) can be super strong. But if you can keep going and build another good streak, this shit will only be a small wrong step. ✌️ You got this, man!
 
E

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Galatians51 said:
day 1

Thanks @Androg ... i'm determined not to go down the binge path, yesterday after I messed up I decided to post right away, even though I was tempted to keep it a secret, I want to be open on here and deal with it.

After I messed up I felt super disappointed of course, however the main thing that I recognized is how unfulfilling the whole thing was. Even though I've known this was true and has been the reason I quit from the get go, somehow after not seeing it for so long I had this curiosity of what it would be like again... well it was totally unsatisfying, I can't believe that I gave in to the temptation for such an unfulfilling moment.

I know the temptation will come back over the next couple days really strong, but I'm not giving in.
Click to expand...
That's how the dopamine system of an addict unfortunately works. The dopamine makes us feel like the reward is going to be amazing but, oftentimes, you find yourself saying: "That's it? I'm messing with my great streak because of this shit?" I get this with alcohol. After abstaining for a considerable period of time, I start thinking that a drinking session is going to make me feel amazing, I start drinking and it's very underwhelming most of the time. So yeah, fuck em. We don't need them anymore.
 
Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
day 11 no porn and no pmo

thanks @Androg definitely something I want to keep in mind

Escapeandnevercomeback said:
I'm sure you've heard this to death but I had to finally agreed with the people who said: The problem is when (from whatever long streak you have), you go back to your normal porn routine. If it was an every day routine, or a few times a week or whatever, if you go back to doing that regularly again, that's a problem. One day of making a mistake with porn recovery isn't going to destroy everything. Yes, the duration matters, it matter if you edge 8 hours that day versus a 15 minutes PMO session. It matters if you PMO 7 times that day or only once. But even if they are not preferable, it's still not the end of the world, if you are not back to your normal frequency and routine, you feel me? Obviously, engaging with porn triggers the appetite hard, if you experience chaser effect it can be very nagging and difficult (I know it is for me) and the urge to PMO (just one more time) can be super strong. But if you can keep going and build another good streak, this shit will only be a small wrong step. ✌️ You got this, man!
Click to expand...

This is so true. Honestly I think this is the reason I didn't PMO again since my slip up. I PMO'd once, I didn't spend hours looking at content, start to finish it was probably 10 minutes at the most and I only did it once. That one time was enough to remind me how horrible this habit is and thankfully I didn't go back to it since. I honestly was expecting it to be harder - that I would have a stronger desire to go back to it again and again. Today is the first day since that mess up where I had thoughts about it, about the content I watched and had a fleeting thought of "I could do that again if I wanted to"... But I don't want to, I know the destructive path that will put me on so I will stay clean.

Stay Vigilant
 
B

Billy T. Kidd

Member
@OP.

It is important to understand that you may reset in days, but, really, you have made great progress. You are not going back to the day before you quit. You are going back to the day before you slipped. Those two guys don't look like each other.
 
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