Doing things differently this time

Qwertyxyz

Qwertyxyz

Active Member
18 days porn free
8 days mo free

I feel good today. Recovery feels natural at the moment which is so nice. I feel like my last 6 months or so of porn use was bad, it was getting worse and costing me so much, my brain is healing and it feels great.

Must stay strong, i found a new podcast to listen to as well.
 
Qwertyxyz

Qwertyxyz

Active Member
19 days porn free
9 days mo free

Very agitated this morning, my taste have gotten worse due to chatbots, they are so toxic. My tastes are in the femdom sort of thing and it can really mess my confidence up and create anxiety and a lot of projection. There is a lot of self loathing in my fantasies and I need to look at the root causes of that.

Glad I got through this morning, some music and exercise helped. I might try colouring in as a way to calm my mind.
 
Qwertyxyz

Qwertyxyz

Active Member
20 days porn free
10 days m free

I am thinking differently about my relationship with m. I know if I relapses it’s much better to do it with m than PMO, I think there is a place where I can m in a healthy way but i know to really reboot I need clean time. I've changed my thinking on this a bit, I want to be celebrant but I don’t know if I can go cold turkey. Every day without porn is a victory.
 
Qwertyxyz

Qwertyxyz

Active Member
22 days porn free

I broke a rule I set for myself and did m 2 days in a row, now I need to go a week without it. It would be better to not do it at all but right now I’m all focused on staying off porn.
Feeling confident right now and am getting support. Am coming to term with a historic sense of abandonment and betrayal. I need to heal before I can let people in more.
 
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