Relapsed,
But ready to get back to recovery. I think I need to do a program or something, I’m looking at Trish Leigh’s, I’ve been doing it alone too long.
I feel I’m close to being able to get off porn but I still need to work on a few things. Some of it is habit building, some of it getting more support. I do a lot of things much better but still have work to do.
Getting out of town later in the week, that can be really good for me, I look forward to the feeling of reset I get when I’m away, it helps and is often a time when I start another recovery attempt.
Clean today
Out of town and by the sea.
To remind myself:
-porn destroys my social confidence and makes me feel vacant and awkward.
-porn puts my anxiety through the roof.
-porn affect my job performance
-porn keeps me isolated and alone
-porn ruins my sleep which has huge knock on affects.
I feel like I’m taking my power back when I’m clean, am ready to try again.
1 day clean
I miss how I was during my recent streaks of around the 3 week mark, my brain was more focused and switched on.
Have been listening to a podcast that re-reminded me about checking in with my body when I’m craving, it’s so true, i forget the self awareness sometimes. Sometimes a quick check in can really help to loosen things up.
I go home tomorrow and am looking forward to being refreshed and getting into a productive flow.