Hi, I am a 32 year old guy. Porn has been a big part of my life since I was very young, maybe 11 even. I have always had a bit problematic sex life and relationship with women. I have had many wonderful possibilities to engage in a relationship but somehow I have not been satisfied with the women I have encountered or I have seen them only as sex objects. I have only been in a relationship once.
Since I first had sex when I was 17 I have had huge performance pressures in bed which I have thought are somehow linked to porn. "I can never last that long in bed" or "I can never satisfy her completely". I have been to therapy and received some good support regarding this matter.
I have now been PMO free for 97 days If my calculations are correct. 97 days ago I had a relapse, which I am not proud of and felt quite bad afterwards. In february I took a peak on Instagram and scrolled a lot of photos of women but I stopped and was able to control myself. I did not relapse then which I am really proud of.
Even before my relapse I was very mindful about the negative side effects of porn and I was also very motivated in my reboot process.
Today I signed in on an online dating website, which I found very interesting. However, I came across photos of women that were quite suggestive and those pictures triggered porn related thoughts/reactions in me. I made earlier the decision to quit all dating apps and that decision has improved my overall mental health. I am now thinking of quitting all internet related dating since there seems to be this kind of soft porn imagery everywhere.
What I have noticed so far: My respect towards women has improved massively. I see them now as complete human beings with everyday problems just like us men. I have been more frequently to the gym and have even received looks from nice looking women. I value a real life smile a thousand times higher than a smile on my phone/computer screen. That reinforces the feeling that I'm on the right path.
Now I think I just need to figure out how to date women outside dating apps / internet. I know I should just ask people out on a date so I guess my next goal is to actually ask someone out in real life. Problem is I live in a small town at the moment and there are not that many women here. I also hope my fear of rejection does not kick in.
Since I first had sex when I was 17 I have had huge performance pressures in bed which I have thought are somehow linked to porn. "I can never last that long in bed" or "I can never satisfy her completely". I have been to therapy and received some good support regarding this matter.
I have now been PMO free for 97 days If my calculations are correct. 97 days ago I had a relapse, which I am not proud of and felt quite bad afterwards. In february I took a peak on Instagram and scrolled a lot of photos of women but I stopped and was able to control myself. I did not relapse then which I am really proud of.
Even before my relapse I was very mindful about the negative side effects of porn and I was also very motivated in my reboot process.
Today I signed in on an online dating website, which I found very interesting. However, I came across photos of women that were quite suggestive and those pictures triggered porn related thoughts/reactions in me. I made earlier the decision to quit all dating apps and that decision has improved my overall mental health. I am now thinking of quitting all internet related dating since there seems to be this kind of soft porn imagery everywhere.
What I have noticed so far: My respect towards women has improved massively. I see them now as complete human beings with everyday problems just like us men. I have been more frequently to the gym and have even received looks from nice looking women. I value a real life smile a thousand times higher than a smile on my phone/computer screen. That reinforces the feeling that I'm on the right path.
Now I think I just need to figure out how to date women outside dating apps / internet. I know I should just ask people out on a date so I guess my next goal is to actually ask someone out in real life. Problem is I live in a small town at the moment and there are not that many women here. I also hope my fear of rejection does not kick in.
