I cannot get hard without thinking about incest

[darkghost709]

I had a traumatic childhood because my dad was a drunk and my mom as an overprotective and manipulative woman which made me very clingy to her because I was afraid of my dad.

Also I was bullied so I thought I would never get a girlfriend so I became even more isolated, so I ended up being trapped by the internet and that's where I found hentai as an 11 year old kid. I thought it was harmless because they were drawings. The thing is most of the characters that appeared in the drawings were kids just like me banging adult women which felt thrilling at the time. The biggest issue with it is that most of those comics were incest-themed.

I kept masturbating exclusively to that for years, I even masturbated thinking about my mom because the incest forums messed me even more so I ended up fetishizing my trauma too.

I deleted all my porn pictures, I'm doing nofap, I'm trying to forgive my mom for her short comings and all but I still can only get aroused only if I think a woman is related to me or something, like I don't need to think about my mom to get off, I could focus on a attractive woman and picture as my mom, but if I don't do that I cannot get hard

What can I do?

 

[Red Moon]

That is a common scenario.

You have conditioned your brain to that porn genre ( novelty ). Hentai is full of mommies and taboo stories, the perfect drug for DESENSITIZATION ( less D2 receptors ) & SENSITIZATION ( Incest ).

You have self-awareness and already know the answer to that question, stay away from porn. Also masturbation with your own imagination.

Eventually your natural libido will come back.

 

[darkghost709]

Thank you! I definitely need to keep doing Nofap because even now that I've quit porn I still have fantasies ingrained in my brain from all the porn I've watched.

 

[Red Moon]

Thank you! I definitely need to keep doing Nofap because even now that I've quit porn I still have fantasies ingrained in my brain from all the porn I've watched.

That is normal and i know what you are talking about. You have to create a scenario in your head in order to be aroused. Many people with porn consumption have porn induced fetishes, all kinds of fetishes.

That is not your true libido or innate sexual desire, that is a dopamine/novelty/porn craving.

Perhaps you are already in the " Flatline " .

 

[darkghost709]

I think so, yes. So do you think I should stop masturbating altogether in order to get rid of it?

 

[Androg]

It sounds like you have more going on than just porn. Have you sought professional help? I'd encourage you to do so.

As for your question, the most important thing is to stop porn. With respect to masturbation, different things work best for different people...at different points in their recovery. Give your brain a chance to heal while you engage in healthy activities like exercise, meditation, time in nature and hobbies.

All the best!

 

[darkghost709]

Yes I sought professional help once but I guess I didn't really click with the therapist unfortunately, she did say she thought I was mature and smart so I should use those tools to my advantage but if I ended up in the position I'm in then it's pretty clear I don't know what I'm doing hahaha

I guess I will try to look for another one but I need to be careful because some use the approach of being kink friendly and I'm not too keen on it

 

[Androg]

As you observed, it's pretty easy to sort the sheep from the goats in terms of therapists.

 

[Red Moon]

I think so, yes. So do you think I should stop masturbating altogether in order to get rid of it?

You have been watching porn since puberty, if you can get aroused only by that fetish/novelty/story, then yes, i recommend nofap hardmode. No PMO.

Don't see it as a " get rid of it ", try to see it as a pathological learning ( brain sexual template ).

Doing Nofap, when you feel ready, when you feel like a caveman looking for a woman, then look for a relationship with a woman you like.

 

[darkghost709]

Yep, the thing is... I don't even know if I can be cured because to my understanding therapist only tell you ways to cope with it, not cure you

And I'm worried because I'm essentially impotent, like I can only get hard if I think about incest, how am I gonna be able to get into a relationship? That worries me

 

[darkghost709]

You have been watching porn since puberty, if you can get aroused only by that fetish/novelty/story, then yes, i recommend nofap hardmode. No PMO.

Don't see it as a " get rid of it ", try to see it as a pathological learning ( brain sexual template ).

Doing Nofap, when you feel ready, when you feel like a caveman looking for a woman, then look for a relationship with a woman you like.

Hm I see, yes, I guess it could work because the longest I've been without masturbating was like... 11 days? Which isn't a lot of course but I used to masturbate 4 times a day every day because of my OCD so it was quite draining

 

[Red Moon]

Hm I see, yes, I guess it could work because the longest I've been without masturbating was like... 11 days? Which isn't a lot of course but I used to masturbate 4 times a day every day because of my OCD so it was quite draining

You will have a longer " reboot ", trust me. We are talking months of abstinence here, perhaps more.

Most important factors to a " reboot " are age, when did you start using porn and for how long. People who watch porn since puberty take longer to recover.

 

[darkghost709]

Thank you both! After watching that video I think I'll buy the book, it seems quite insightful.

I will do my best to stop masturbating. I think if in the meantime I work on my traumas and all it will be easier to avoid relapsing

 

[SmokenMirrors]

You need a hard mode reboot for sure. No watching porn and no masturbation of any kind, it's gonna be tough but it's gonna be worth it!