Artemus
Active Member
Hello again, its been nearly a year since I was on here and thought I'd drop in. My progress is still incomplete and I confess to having stopped putting in the work over the last year. I've had a project that's been taking all my time that is nearing completion and I want to turn my attention to putting the final nail in my lust coffin. Truly I'm light years from where I was just a couple of years ago, but its still not complete. My faith has grown and my desperate need for the release has quieted from a distracting roar to a faint whisper, but still there none the less. The further I've gone, the more aware I have become of when an attack is beginning. In times past I'd be 3 or for steps mentally towards a fall before I realized what was happening, by then I'd already be worked up and most of the time not able to resist the temptation. Now I mostly see whats coming and dispatch those thoughts quickly before I've gone too far. I'm 53 now, I had never experienced any signs of ED regardless of the amount I PMO I indulged in. Now over the last 6 months or so I have had some struggles with ED, but only when I'm alone, without any visual stimulation, if I hit the web and find a video I'm up and ready to go, but thats not what I want. I can still respond effectively to my wife and I still have several erections throughout the night as they sometimes wake me. My ED issue, I think must be a spiritual/emotional and stress related deal. The project I've been burdened with has consumed my every waking thought for the last 2 years, as has my wife's work issues and health. Also add in the political/social climate around us and I can't but feel guilty at even the thought of taking pleasure in anything before I complete this project. I recently had made plans for us to go out of town for my birthday, but as we neared the date the more dread I felt, so much so my wife noticed and asked me, "If I didn't still want to go?". After some self examination I told her that she was right, "That I didn't want to go and would rather pour my time and effort into this project." She agreed and that's what we did. I'm sure if I was tested I probably have some sort of depression going onto , but I don't want to take any drugs.
Day 14
Day 14