The enemy is NOT of flesh & blood...

Artemus

Artemus

Active Member
34 Days. I must be crossing some personal bio-chemical threshold as I'm feeling a bit more tempted than usual. Some different thoughts have made an appearance and even though I've sent them packing they have been returning in a quicker fashion than they had been as of late. Now I suppose it could be related to some dietary changes I've made also that increase Nitric Oxide and boost testosterone, because I do feel more awareness of my nether regions, like the blood flow is increased and more heat. I can say I'm not unhappy about that, its like knowing your wearing a loaded six shooter on your hip, you just feel confident that if need or opportunity arises you can, "throw down"... 😎😁
 
Artemus

Artemus

Active Member
Its Independence day her in the US, remembering the birth of our nation and our fight against tyranny. IMHO our fight against PMO is in many ways the same. As I've stated before I was introduced to porn by a childhood friend and neighbor, he was 3 years my junior but his father had a vast collection that he didn't hide from his son. I don't blame my friend or harbor any ill feelings towards him for my introduction, he was an innocent child/victim himself. I was 7 or 8 at the time or maybe even younger, I'm not sure, but I remember the day and the conversation. In the beginning I didn't see any harm or wrong in what we were looking at, but it did have a profound effect on me. I suppose I didn't actually make any effort to avoid it or leave it until I was older and P had evolved or devolved into PMO. Like 99% of generation X my journey began with images in a magazine and thru time as technology increased it moved to cable TV, then VHS, then the internet and DVD's. None of these technologies in and of themselves are bad when used correctly, no different than a firearm. A firearm can be used to do evil and a firearm can be used to defend and save lives, but the firearm itself does nothing unless put into action, its the same with technology and media. Porn is the voluntary choice of some that harms others, and most likely even those who choose it as well.

People come to RN for many reasons, some out of frustration because they can no longer function sexually due to the abuse they've put on their bodies, minds and brains. Some come to RN because they fell into a PMO habit and wish to break free of that habit, either for ethical and/or religious reasons or because it has bleed over into their lives and they see the need for change. Another group came to RN because someone caught them using porn and they've been pressured to stop. There are many more reasons, too many to list, I was in the second group. I've know some people on here that logo on, set out on the "Hard 90" and within 90 they were done and gone, but others linger in a, "Wash, Rinse, Repeat" cycle never finding the exit. I've been in that last category for many years and I use to hate the ones who walked in and right back out, it seemed a cruel punishment that I couldn't comprehend. My journey has been long, I've had to go back over the same ground many times, but I've learned much in the process. One thing I can say for sure is my taste never went dark, I never desired to hurt anyone or cause pain or to do anything illegal, that I'm glad to be able to say. Every fantasy I ever had was based in consensual activity with people of legal age and of the opposite sex. I only bring this up because God has recently made me aware of the sex trafficking of adults and children alike. During this a connection to porn came up and this only further confirmed for me that porn has NO place in society and should be completely illegal. Some will want to argue that porn should be available to consenting adults, but this is wrong and dangerous. We know now porn injures and changes the brain, so what was consumed in private has the potential to cause harm in public, but unlike alcohol or drugs where impairment is obvious, porn corrupts thoughts and its effects can go unseen until a child goes missing or a young girl or boy is raped or molested and on and on. Porn opens the door and awakens monsters who feed on flesh. The things I've been told about recently and learned are so profoundly disgusting I was brought to physical illness, gasping for breath and heaving in disgust as I wept. I can no longer even contemplate any thoughts of porn without being overwhelmed with shame over my lifetime wasted on porn and I didn't even go dark, but just knowing how many people have been hurt or died or possibly abused and imprisoned to bring us our thrills, its beyond comprehension. I repent and I am contrite, don't go down the path I was lost in.

Porn leads only to death, heartache and ruin. Instead pursue forgiveness and love.

 
Artemus

Artemus

Active Member
Half way!!!

Totally amazing and I can't remember the last time I was here. The keys are controlling your thoughts and being willing to surrender a lie for truth. Another thing I've learned this time around is faith & trust, not in myself but in Gods promises and plan, after all He does love us, He created us and only wants the best for us. In times past I'd trust Him up to a point, that point being, surrendering my sexual self to Him and as I would begin to hand it over to Him, I'd become frightened and yank it back, afraid that I wouldn't like what He gave me back in return... How foolish I was, in my mind I was afraid, afraid that what I would get back would be bland and unsatisfying, how stupid. These were lies from the devil, I know that now. Before, like a child that didn't want to surrender his toy, I clung to my dirty little play thing, so sure that what I was being asked to give up was better than anything God may want to give me in return. To right this now it seems so obvious, but then I was pathetically blind and listening to lies. If only I had trusted Him, how much time I wasted in dark places? I could've been so much happier, satisfied and productive. Lord, I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I'm so sorry.

Its so obvious now, all those images were just that, images. I accepted a distorted facsimile of sex and then believed the lie that it was better than what God wanted for me and had given me. Convenience and pleasure, almost without exception choosing whats quick & easy over something that may require work, in the long run hurts us. Like cake over meat and veggies, a real relationship requires work and attention, but the payoff is unbelievable. and the downside to trying to live on cake is even more devastating. I know I ramble, but I try to be genuine.

Be well men, choose whats real & healthy, avoid the cavities, diabetes and heart disease of your soul that porn most assuredly provides.
 
Artemus

Artemus

Active Member
Blondie said:
Sorry to hear this @Artemus. All we can do is get back on the horse and keep on riding.

What was it that made you momentarily become the bug?
Click to expand...
Its difficult to pinpoint the first link in the chain, but I'm sure it was simply not dispensing of a thought like I should've. I don't remember making any changes to my routine, but I'm sure that was it, a mental indulgence that grew into an inferno. Back in the saddle, let's ride!
 
Artemus

Artemus

Active Member
After my crash back at the end of July I've struggled to regain any momentum, but its been that way before, for me. Today, this evening I begin again. The house I'd struggled to restore and sell is gone, awesome! My wife quit her job at the beginning of October, but the windfall from the house has made taking a pause to regroup possible. Andrew Huberman is very interesting and insightful, I'm including a link for anyone interested. Also I've learned Dopamine is different from how I'd been told it was.
 
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