Brother in this battle - My path to freedom
- Thread starter Freerider
- Start date
I was in real life on sunday and forgot to report my 300 day without porn.. But here it is, day 300 and already +1, so now p 301 and m 4!
I have had hard times but also good things. Still looking for a job. I have seen my friends more. Did sports more and being more social.
All secrets will be revealed in the end. so I've been trying to dig skeletons out of the cupboards and clean and think that even masturbation wouldn't mess things up between me and my wife. I have fallen into it from time to time, but I try to stay away from it too, because I have the brain of an addict.
I read somewhere that addiction, stress and anxiety activate the same parts of the brain. so I'm trying to learn better life control and balance in everyday life, so that I don't burden my brain, which is broken from addiction, with stress.
I have had hard times but also good things. Still looking for a job. I have seen my friends more. Did sports more and being more social.
All secrets will be revealed in the end. so I've been trying to dig skeletons out of the cupboards and clean and think that even masturbation wouldn't mess things up between me and my wife. I have fallen into it from time to time, but I try to stay away from it too, because I have the brain of an addict.
I read somewhere that addiction, stress and anxiety activate the same parts of the brain. so I'm trying to learn better life control and balance in everyday life, so that I don't burden my brain, which is broken from addiction, with stress.
pal. Onwards. Ever onwards.
Blondie
Respected Member
I love that, @Freerider.
Day 308 and 11. I had my worst nightmare last night, which unfortunately is based on true events. I thought that maybe the adult me now understands it better and it's good that my adult brain processes events. still it was a rough night. I believe that it is part of the process so that I can be freed from the guilt and burdens that I carry.
I'm grateful that I've made it this far in life and maybe I could lighten the load of old things. i want it. I don't know how to do it, but I want to continue the process. just let it come, I'll listen and watch and try to understand why I'm hurting so much.
I'm grateful that I've made it this far in life and maybe I could lighten the load of old things. i want it. I don't know how to do it, but I want to continue the process. just let it come, I'll listen and watch and try to understand why I'm hurting so much.
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GBS
Respected Member
Thing is, Freebie, you do know how to do it. Move forwards as you are. Cannot live in the past. There’s probably a cliché to say to you, but I can’t luckily think of it. You arein control of the present, that’s for sure. Keep going, man. I read your journal every time you write.
Day 309 and 0. I had good over ten day without m and efficient week with job seeking. Then bad night and couple of negative answers from job seeking and end of day i was out of resources and power.
I also managed yesterday to be a bit like an observer of myself throughout the day. this is new or rare. that is, I saw my struggle from the outside and the temptation to seek solace in my bad mood and low mood from masturbation.
Sad i lost at the end but i had long good fight. it didn't seem impossible to brake and fight and say no to temptation. I invest in that fight and mercy towards myself.
At least now much more undestanding of what is happening than year ago.
I also managed yesterday to be a bit like an observer of myself throughout the day. this is new or rare. that is, I saw my struggle from the outside and the temptation to seek solace in my bad mood and low mood from masturbation.
Sad i lost at the end but i had long good fight. it didn't seem impossible to brake and fight and say no to temptation. I invest in that fight and mercy towards myself.
At least now much more undestanding of what is happening than year ago.
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