Brother in this battle - My path to freedom
- Thread starter Freerider
- Start date
Day 527. I made lifeaudit. Lot of good things in life at the moment. I still feel like escaping from fear and anxiety by masturbating sometimes. I realized that it's not good for me. I'm now focusing on facing life as it is. There's no escape. I cant do any concessions to addiction.
Day 534. Life is happening. Mostly good things, also small challnges of course.
Love and intimacy are a big mystery. Masturbation and the distance or tension it creates have sometimes caused a shadow of addiction, which still reflects on the relationship with my wife.
Even though I'm practicing presence myself, the challenges of the years with porn and masturbation have left their mark.
Some of this tension and fear of performing can cause me to not get my dick erect when sex with my wife would be possible. Then afterwards it does work, which is frustrating.
And of course it happened now when i choose not to masturbate at all. How its possible that when i reallly, really waited intimicy with my wife i couldn’t have erection.
but, day by day. I have done long journey, i will continue. Not going back.
Love and intimacy are a big mystery. Masturbation and the distance or tension it creates have sometimes caused a shadow of addiction, which still reflects on the relationship with my wife.
Even though I'm practicing presence myself, the challenges of the years with porn and masturbation have left their mark.
Some of this tension and fear of performing can cause me to not get my dick erect when sex with my wife would be possible. Then afterwards it does work, which is frustrating.
And of course it happened now when i choose not to masturbate at all. How its possible that when i reallly, really waited intimicy with my wife i couldn’t have erection.
but, day by day. I have done long journey, i will continue. Not going back.
Day 540. As the speed of everyday life increases, I find myself drifting closer and closer to a situation where I need to relieve the pressure by masturbating. I make a new start in my recovery from masturbation and solve my problems and fears with healthier ways .https://www.pivotalrecovery.org/further-resources/
Percival
Active Member
I am far from any kind of expert, but I wonder if some of this is due to anxiety. They say the brain is the biggest sex organ (or something like that) so how hard you are thinking about it does have some effect on how hard you can get (or not). I've certainly experienced that myself, but when I can relax and not worry about it then everything works fine.
That said, I don't have any particular advice for you other than keep going forward and I think time will solve these issues too. Keep going!
GBS
Respected Member
Hi Freebie, I think you are well centred with what you say. Biased as I am on the masturbation subject I just think trying to cope without is powerful in so many ways and I applaud you very loudly. Also the resolve it takes is fortifying and you get more done through healthier solutions. Win win. Nice job, pal. Keep up the good work, your brain thanks you.