Brother in this battle - My path to freedom

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Freerider

Active Member
Day 604.
I need to cast a spell on myself to stop wallowing in shit. I don't jerk off in fear. I don't think about my old fantasies. The familiar bad habits was the safest and easiest. It has to stop, it is stopped. I am no more thinking about the past. No old fantasies.

It doesn't lead to anything new and good. It's not me anymore. I start my morning with a little exercise and mindfulness. I accumulate more conscious mojo days in the week and reduce the number of shit days to a minimum when everything is difficult and scary. I can ve scary but i dont escape from it anymore.

I go forward with trust in the future, love myself and my family.
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 614. I am still in reboot. I took a step back in the reboot when I opened my tumblr account and some pantyhose dress women pictures popped up. You can't call that a loss, on the contrary, a scary sign that even 600 days won't guarantee clarity in this matter tomorrow. I need to pull myself together and stop messing around. I dont need tumblr or any that kind of social media platforms. I have to start reading how you other guys are doing..
 
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leedaw23

Member
Freerider said:
Day 614. I am still in reboot. I took a step back in the reboot when I opened my tumblr account and some pantyhose dress women pictures popped up. You can't call that a loss, on the contrary, a scary sign that even 600 days won't guarantee clarity in this matter tomorrow. I need to pull myself together and stop messing around. I dont need tumblr or any that kind of social media platforms. I have to start reading how you other guys are doing..
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Hey Freerider, your journey is incredibly inspiring it's amazing that you've reached day 614. I personally struggle with consistency and often feel anxious about it. Could you please share whether you've fully recovered, including having normal erections and overcoming premature ejaculation?
 
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Freerider

Active Member
leedaw23 said:
Hey Freerider, your journey is incredibly inspiring it's amazing that you've reached day 614. I personally struggle with consistency and often feel anxious about it. Could you please share whether you've fully recovered, including having normal erections and overcoming premature ejaculation?
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Thanks for asking. I think I'm in better shape than when I started. I am really happy that i made total stop watching porn. good blocking of all shit in modem and phone was a big help. My advice is to do it so hard for you, almost impossible to watch porn. Make blocker in modem and phone and then forget passwords. Thats was my way.

And this group helps a lot.

my level of recovery, I can say that I am in much better shape than I was 600 days ago. I don't watch porn. What still bothers me is the mental side. I haven't been able to completely let go of the pattern where I seek solace in masturbation when I have problems. I find myself still in that cycle when I have problems, fatigue, or even just really bored.

I had and have problems with erection. It works sometimes, not always. I was scaring and terrifying it. And sometimes it feels totally flatlined. I got some erection pills from doctor for that. I have quite normal sex life with my wife at the moment. Still i have that mental issue. I masturbate sometimes, I have fantasies that pulls me towards addiction.

My next goal is to get rid of them, so that those patterns of behavior can be removed from my brain. Maybe then my dick would work properly and always without the pill..

Not there yet but try to stay on track to total soberity from masturbation obsession. I just have that porn free day counting giving a hope for me that total soberity could be also possible.

Keep going guys! This is much better than the other way to live with that shit..
 
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leedaw23

Member
Freerider said:
Thanks for asking. I think I'm in better shape than when I started. I am really happy that i made total stop watching porn. good blocking of all shit in modem and phone was a big help. My advice is to do it so hard for you, almost impossible to watch porn. Make blocker in modem and phone and then forget passwords. Thats was my way.

And this group helps a lot.

my level of recovery, I can say that I am in much better shape than I was 600 days ago. I don't watch porn. What still bothers me is the mental side. I haven't been able to completely let go of the pattern where I seek solace in masturbation when I have problems. I find myself still in that cycle when I have problems, fatigue, or even just really bored.

I had and have problems with erection. It works sometimes, not always. I was scaring and terrifying it. And sometimes it feels totally flatlined. I got some erection pills from doctor for that. I have quite normal sex life with my wife at the moment. Still i have that mental issue. I masturbate sometimes, I have fantasies that pulls me towards addiction.

My next goal is to get rid of them, so that those patterns of behavior can be removed from my brain. Maybe then my dick would work properly and always without the pill..

Not there yet but try to stay on track to total soberity from masturbation obsession. I just have that porn free day counting giving a hope for me that total soberity could be also possible.

Keep going guys! This is much better than the other way to live with that shit..
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Thank you so much for you reply and sharing your current condition. I am also struggling with some issue as well including mental issues, lack of erection, fatigue, lack of motivation, over active bladder and zero excitement in life. But still trying to keep my head up and moving on. Today Will be my 21st day without PMO. Just like it terrifies you same is going on with me. I am pretty Kuch terrified because there's no libido no erection. I have seen a little improvement. It's okay to live like this (Without PMO) other than jacking off to some shit which is not even real.
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 622 and 0. I've been reflecting on the last two years and there have been ups and downs. Now it's time for me to take a new reset on masturbation in general. I'm a little stronger now and masturbation is something that draws my attention to the problem and the old reality. So, today is day zero for this new PM challenge. I'm not going to give up orgasm if it wants to come on sex with wife. but the challenge is on as it has already been with porn and again with masturbation in general.

I'm already trying to build a new lifestyle. Focus on building fitness and well-being, increasing social situations, being active, sleeping, facing fears. Loving and accepting myself.

Personal integrity. You know what you know. You feel how you really feel. You say what you mean. Try to do what you really want. Then there is integrity. Intelligence, a person realizes their situation. Three high energy levels. Intelligence and energy are gifts. Integrity is a choice (integrity) that allows you to use energy and intelligence.
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 631 and 1. Life presents challenges and I realize that I need to be able to function under pressure. My wife doesn't trust me and I'm broken because of my internal struggles. Now I have to live in the moment, make the right choices, trust that it will work, work towards things, rest occasionally. I'm starting to simplify my own life. I simplify things so that I can focus better on the important things.

My wife and family. Work. Sports and rest.

I try to focus on those. Nothing else.
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 632 and fucking zero.

I start being a rebellious rebooter,i will focus on life, focus on living more and interacting with people. I consentrste to do more good than bad things. as long as there is more positive hours on day than negative I just let it go about thinking porn reboot (I just dont do it) i will be happy and love myself. I stop worrying alone about jerking ( because i have done it anyway after worrying.. ) thats shit! i dont want it. Life, here I come!!!

And of course i continue writing here, because otherwise i get back to that shit if i am countless..
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 636 and 4. Prioritizing the future helps you see that simply abstaining from sex is not recovery and that the decision to stop addictive behavior is a positive choice and not just resignation to fate.

Game is going harder, but i am pretty sure that these days, months and year(s) has made me better preparing for challenges. Still i cant trust myself, and have to be humble, yesterday's success does not guarantee today's outcome!

Life, heeeeere I come!!!!!!
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 638 and 6.
I have to be strong. I have to be an adult. My daughter has been bullied and needs support. It opens up old wounds. It reminds me of my childhood hell. I am an adult now. I support my child and help her. My heart bleeds because of the pain I feel for my child. I can no longer play with my life, I am needed. My reboot is right now at a point where I am teetering between strength and collapse. I decide to be sensible, do what I have to do and protect my daughter and family. I am alone at night with my own old pains. That's how it goes. God help me!
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 641 and 2. Good and bad things happen. For my part, I try to keep that ratio on positive side, that I do more good than bad. My life is like an onion, the contents of which I examine layer by layer. Now I am strongly confident that I am fighting the good fight and taking care of my own place!!!
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 644 and 5. be a doer in good things. rest after work. tolerate discomfort.

I easily don't do good things, I feel bad, I relieve it by jerking off and it gets even worse and I relieve it more by jerking off. For some reason it hasn't brought good results. Now I'm wondering if I should try the same trick again, if it would work next time?
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 652 and 6. Im happy to read wise words from @Blondie today.

Also sone good ideas from here https://open.substack.com/pub/impro...ort-is-the-new-poison?r=3eeyr8&utm_medium=ios

Most people aren’t failing because life is hard.
They’re falling apart because life is too easy.
Comfort has become the default setting.
You don’t even have to leave your bed to access food, dopamine, or entertainment.
Just tap. Just scroll. Just consume.
But there’s a cost.
Comfort doesn’t calm you.
It empties you.
And you start to feel it.
The anxiety. The restlessness. The strange sadness that creeps in even when nothing is wrong.
You weren’t built to coast.
You were built to carry weight.

Go running, work hard!
 
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