Finding life outside gadgets, social media and porn

SajithKR

Member
How much time do I sit in front of screen. Most of the day. Partly for work and mostly as I have nothing else to do. In the end it ends in porn. I should stop reduce screen time outside work and get my life back. I have a good family and job, but nowadays life seems so boring outside screen. How nice it will be to just pug into virtual world like in matrx and live in your fantasy world. That is what many dream. No one will be interested in maintaining real world and friends. Even without the Matrix I feel that I am hooked to this. Let me try to escape from this gadget world. Not sure if it is possible, but let me try.
 

SajithKR

Member
Yesterday I relapsed. Started to sleep at 10 with wife. woke-up at 12am an then could not go back to sleep. Went to another room and started with youtube and ending with PMO. good that I slept at 1am and got up at 6.30. Felt like enough sleep, still felt very lazy and started watching YouTube for 1hr then decided to stop it. Took bath, did yoga and meditation for 1hr. Getting ready for breakfast and work.
 

SajithKR

Member
Day 2. Slept at 11.30 after work and woke at 7.30. Was in no mood to get up but had to. Tried to reduce Youtube continuously but still watched for 4hrs. Mostly only hearing some talks between other work, but still it could be avoided. There was no urge to watch sexy content. May be because today's work needed more interactions with real people in office and was more engaging. When ever I am busy with something that needs more action, i don't have this urge, but the issue is that I can't be in that mode all the time. Issues start when I have nothing much to do and I don't interact with anyone without a reason. I am full time work or on gadgets. There is no time set aside for friends. Hence I don't have any. Most of the time I am alone but not lonely thanks to my online work and gadgets, ready to entertain me in any way and not get into some depression. Days are going by so fast. I am getting the feeling that life is ticking away without living and experiencing it.
 

SajithKR

Member
Day 3. Slept at 10 and woke at 5am. Took cold shower, yoga meditation and went for a community walk. Could connect with many residents in my community, had breakfast together. It was nice to be in real world. if only I could keep this routine for sleep and morning yoga. Today evening is also going to be busy. Have to attend a function with family. So very less chance for P* thoughts and. no time to watch YouTube, Still watched YouTube for 30min.
 

SajithKR

Member
Day:4 Someone has purposefully put a deep scratches on my new car. I think my previous day social interaction made someone envious. Side effects of meeting real people. This disturbed me. I couldn't sleep well at night and watched "girls to buy" movie. Even though there were many nude scenes in movie, I felt bad for the girls and didn't have any PMO idea. Any way my intention of selecting this Movie was not good. Slept at 1.30 and workup at 7.30. Started watching YouTube on how to remove the scratches. When I realised I am hurting myself, I started typing to get back on track. Let me take a cold shower and do yoga. It is just a scratch and not a big accident. Who ever has done it should suffer and not me. The issue is that I know who would have done it.
 
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SajithKR

Member
Day 8 : Past few days were hectic. First going through CCTV recovering to find who scratched on my car. It turned out to be a kid how who tried to take her bicycle through a tight area. Then my Mother-in-law died. So no free time to even think about P*. The situation could be hectic for few more days. So I can't take any credit for staying away from P*. I have also not watched YouTube for past 3 days. Credit goes to my bad situation keeping me busy. I got some free time now, hence typing this.
 
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SajithKR

Member
Day 10: Kind of back to normal free day. Bit tired after the busy schedules. When I am tired, my mind is also week. Most vulnerable to PMO. Need to focus on taking rest and not watch YouTube and end up in P* sites by end of day. Already watched YouTube for 1.5hrs now. Need to stop for the day. It is just 11am and I am alone, tired to doing anything. A little bit horny. Maybe my sperm bags are full. All are tempting. Typing my feelings seems to give some relief. It is like talking to someone. So it might be having the effects of a counsellor.
 

SajithKR

Member
Yesterday night, I woke up at 1am and found it difficult to sleep again. So watched a sci-fi action movie and slept at 3.30am. I had to wake up at 6am to drop kids to school. I am alone at home and want to just watch something exciting. I know I will end up watching P* and I will regret it. Need to stay strong and stay away from it.
 

SajithKR

Member
Day 12. Got through without P*. I slept early by 10pm and had good sleep till 6am. Cooked food for kids, dropped them in school, did morning exercise, yoga meditation, walk and cold shower. Logged into office work. Today I have to concentrate on work. I was on leave for last week so have some pending work. I couldn't work yesterday. So I have to put extra effort and complete some work. I have also volunteered to be on my appartment maintenance committee. It is a thankless work which will take lot of my time, but I should be able to interact more with real people and help me stay away from P*.
 
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SajithKR

Member
Day 13: Still staying away from P*, but spend too much time on YouTube. That is draining me. Wife came back home. Now more free time to get myself hooked to screen. Still let me try to sleep at 10.
 
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SajithKR

Member
Slept at 10 and woke at 6.30. Not sure if I had a good sleep. Morning felt dull and boring with no internet to do anything. Feels like a meaningless Life. Not sure why. Any why I went for a walk and run Took a cold shower. But still something is missing. Now sitting for mediation. Hope that helps.
 

Emptyroom

Active Member
You are doing a great job. The feeling you want to feel will come in time. We can't expect it every day. Remember also to do things for others as well as yourself. That can bring you meaning.
 

SajithKR

Member
Day 15: Last day was not so good. I was getting angry for many small things. My son asked if I am having depression. Any way I slept on time and had good sleep. Mornings are still dull and not having any purpose. Sill doing my morning walk, Jog, cold shower and meditation. My wife is now complaining that she isn't able to sleep. Understandable after mother's death. Hope time will heal her. My dull mood and anger is not helping her. I don't want to take refuge in PMO. I have done that for too long.
 
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SajithKR

Member
Day 16. Was busy Sunday. Tried to spray paint the scratched area of my car and it is showing paint patches. So not happy with it. Talked with a neighbour for more than 1hr. That was some good time. The paint issue is disturbing me. Will see some professional to see if they can do something about it.
 
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SajithKR

Member
I relapsed with PMO today. Watched nude videos on YouTube. Did it help me? It felt good while watching with a sense of guilt. It feels like a big burden is off my shoulders for now. Back to counting from day 0. Issue is that I am not able to handle stess of abstaining from this. The stress level builds up and shows in my life. My be because I am having a kid of sexless marriage.
 
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SajithKR

Member
Let me try something else. I am going to attempt zero YouTube on phone. It will be hard as I learn a lot from YouTube and I need it to be updated, but let me try it. The screen time is frying my brain.
 

SajithKR

Member
Feeling good today. Woke-up at 6 just few minutes before alarm. Also felt fresh. Had a good sleep. Did not check phone till 8am.100% staying way from YouTube on phone. Will also try to not watch it on laptop unless absolutely necessary.
 
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