Leaving addiction behind

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
This is day 1 of my new life, I’ve been struggling with porn addiction for more than two decades now and had a thread in the age section below for 8 years that led to a maximum of 100 days clean. Lately I didn’t even make it a week, but I wasn’t really trying seriously either. My cell phone is my weak spot and I even took it to bed every night despite knowing better.

At some point I just stopped caring too much and tried to quit without putting real effort in building a new life or taking restrictions seriously. I won’t write too frequently either, this thread shall work as a reminder to myself that I’m giving myself the promise to quit once and for all right now.

I have overcome cocaine (quit 4 years ago), additionally I am currently not even drinking alcohol because it led to relapses too often. I’m not planning to never drink a beer again, but at least for the first month I need full focus on building healthy habits.

I’ve got a family, I’m happy with my life - there is no more room for the constant self hatred and remorse coming along with this time wasting addiction. I’m not trying anymore, I just quit and won’t go back.
 

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Day 3

Thanks a lot for the support! Despite my big announcement I failed almost immediately. And failed again and again. Once again I had to realize that I can’t rely on willpower or I would have overcome this years ago.

I’m currently on the third day and try everything I can to make it through the first days and weeks. I didn’t drink alcohol in more than a month now and will put on heavy restrictions on my phone. I think about securing them with a code and let my wife enter the code so I can’t get around them (as I did before). I really need to organize my life to succeed. Something needs to change, just opening a new thread and stop drinking isn’t enough, although both certainly is necessary along the way.
 

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Day 10

I reached a two-digit number of days in hard mode, very happy with the start so far - next goal is to complete the second week.

My task for this week is to buy an alarm clock to not use my phone, because I keep it near bed and already took it to bed again. I must remind myself that I’m not in control and need restrictions to succeed!
 

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Day 15

Two weeks complete, but instead of buying an alarm clock and reducing my time on the phone, I took my phone to bed and increased the time. Nothing happened, but this is a friendly reminder to myself that I will fail 100% guaranteed if I don’t change this habit right now.
 
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