Billy T. Kidd
Member
Whoa, Whoa, no, no, stop, kidding, joking. If you are here and identify as an addict, you better grow a sense of humor, even if it is gallows humor, because, honestly, our predicament is absurd and ridiculous. We are addicted to surfing porn, dropping trow, and rubbing one off, over and over and over, every single day. It's laughable, even if it is hellish.
I know, you are asking yourself, who is this asshole.
This asshole is the asshole who wrote the "Hello Gentlemen" thread, at the very top of the page. This asshole is William.
Porn addiction sucks. I, myself, do not consider myself to be addicted for at least 10 years, probably longer.
It is helpful to understand the history of your addiction.
But, being clever monkeys, around 2007 we invented High Speed Internet. A second later we invented High Speed Internet Porn, aka porn tubes. The next 4-5 years were a very interesting experiment when it came to humanity consuming porn, aka High Speed Internet Porn, and its effects on the neurotransmitter Dopamine. We really, really, figured out how some of us could push the porn button to get a dopamine high. Unlike dial up, HSIP was instantaneous, and never ending. Dopamine works by rewarding thinking about sex, searching for sex, getting sex, and orgasm, because in nature, those things are very successful in causing us to do one of the two most successful survival events any species engages in: reproduction. So, you get the reward not just by rubbing one off while watching porn, you get the reward by simply watching it, because in watching it, you think about sex, and thinking about sex is rewarded. Further, you are all aware of the "click, click, click" problem, which is sitting down and surfing porn, sometimes for hours. So, it is not just seeing a porn image that produces a dopamine high, it is looking for never-before-seen porn images that produce a dopamine high. This again relates back to a naturally occurring, pre-existing--neurological reward function related to reproduction, being the innate, often unwanted, interest in new or other mates. This relates to is the Coolidge Effect: Nature has experimented with many sexual conducts, and at least one experiment involved humans being interested in (getting a dopamine high) from being with multiple sexual partners. The Coolidge Effect is why people look around and or cheat on their mates, but in terms of porn consumption, it is why we like clicking on the never-before-seen porn scene. We get a dopamine reward for that. The search for the never before seen gets us high.
This is all important to understand because if you do not, you do not know what the problem is, and if you do not know what the problem is, you cannot form a solution.
So, understand, you are not addicted to porn. No one ever has been. You are addicted to using porn to get to what you are actually addicted to: a neurological dopamine reward high that results from thinking about sex. Interestingly, about the time dial up was becoming common in the U.S., 1995, the concept of addiction to brain stimulation was the core concept in a movie starring Ralph Feines and Angela Bassett called Strange Days. I don't recommend the movie, it might be triggering, I did not think it was that great, but in some ways it predicted porn addiction, and how we use that tech to get high.
Gary Wilson published "The Great Porn Experiment" over 10 years ago, in 2012, and after that, the debate was on. It you have not seen Gary Wilson's Great Porn Experiment, go find it on youtube or Yourbrainonporn, and you can start studying...you.
I have to say that but for becoming what we call "addicted to porn" I would have walked through this world in complete ignorance of the power of motivational and reward neurotransmitters in the brain, which causes us to want and seek, naturally, sex and food, but which we have invented others means to trigger, such as too much sex (sex addiction), alcohol, drugs, and another behavioral addiction, gambling. What I have found in my journey is that just because a person is triggered by one addictive event, it does not follow that they are triggered by the others. I don't like drugs. I do like booze. I am not a sex addict, though when I was young, I might have been. Gambling bores me. I remember exactly where I was when I had to look myself in the mirror and say: "Hey asshole, you are addicted to porn." I now know that was an oversimplification of the problem, but saying that was me admitting to myself I was a lot weaker than I wanted to think, and the thought was devastating and humbling.
So, why am I writing this here now? Actually, I had thought about writing it July 18, 2024 because, if you look up at the "Hello Gentlemen" thread, you will see it was published exactly 10 years before. An anniversary of sorts.
What have I learned on this journey? Alot about the human brain and why we want what we want, why we do what we do. I have also learned this addiction, which I now call dopamine addiction, is not a lifetime condition. Understand, you did not "catch" this problem, this malady, you gave it to yourself. You conditioned your brain, via High Speed Internet Porn, to become addicted to using HSIP to get a dopamine high, every day, for years. You may not have known it was possible to do so, many did not. Again, the problem really manifested itself between 2007 and the invention of porn tubes, and 2012, when Gary Wilson began writing about it. The good news is, in my opinion, that since that time, 2012, more people have become educated about the problem, and are, therefore, avoiding it. Most people have not written here as long as I have, but, back in 2010, the newbies were posting so fast and often here that a thread that was at the top on Monday was on page 2 or 3 on the following Tuesday. Now, a post might say on page one for days or weeks. Why? Less posters, which I like to think is about more becoming aware that porn can cause a problem in the brain that is very difficult and painful to correct, and people avoiding that. Hell, that is the understatement of the week. If you are an addict all you really want, all you really love, is getting high. I believe that via forums like this, people are becoming educated about the problem and are therefore avoiding it. In school, I was taught "drugs are addictive." Had I been taught "porn is addictive" and why, I think I would have avoided it, or at least recognized if I was using it to get high.
Me? Have not been addicted for a decade. Could I still use it to get the high? Sure. But I don't miss it, when I do not use it. It is the "not missing" part that spells cured. Using something to get high does not mark one as an addict. Being unable to "not miss it" marks one as addicted.
If you are here struggling, understand, you trained your brain to be at the state it is at. You have used porn to stimulate naturally occurring brain rewards, that, naturally, are not rewarded anywhere near as much or powerfully as you can obtain via porn. You are not addicted to porn, per se, but are addicted to a dopamine high you can use porn to achieve. You are going to have to lay off porn and the dopamine high for a while, as in at least months, and when I quit, we did not really have the concept of "the hard 90", so I went a full year, and posted on Nofap every month that I was clean during that first year. You can get clean, it is imminently possible, but you have to go in knowing what you are doing, consciously knowing you are bending your reward pathways back to something close to a pre-porn state. Everyday you go without porn, it helps. I was pretty hard core when I quit, though now I know that less hard core can also work and be helpful. When I quit the withdrawals I felt were painful and terrifying. At the time I quit, which was a long time ago, we did not know how long those withdrawals would last, or if they were a permanent side effect of quitting porn. Without more experience or knowlege, I had to wake up every morning feeling the withdrawals and believing they might be there every day for the rest of my life. I had the thought: I am quitting porn, and I feel like total shit, my anxiety is through the roof, and I feel like I am dying. But, if feeling like I am dying every day for the rest of my life is what I have to do to quit porn, I will do it. You do not have to have that thought because those of us who have quit know that, yes, you feel like dying, but it won't last forever, and many report around 90 days it starts to recede and never comes back. If you are a full on porn addict you will find this difficult to believe, but I have not missed it for at least 10 years.
OK. For anyone who has read this, peace, and good luck on your journey. If I am still alive, I will post again July 18, 2034. Just kidding. I don't come here much any more, but every now and then I drop wisdom like a cow dropping a turd. So, you might see me here and there.
Much love.
WilliamOneAndDone
I know, you are asking yourself, who is this asshole.
This asshole is the asshole who wrote the "Hello Gentlemen" thread, at the very top of the page. This asshole is William.
Porn addiction sucks. I, myself, do not consider myself to be addicted for at least 10 years, probably longer.
It is helpful to understand the history of your addiction.
But, being clever monkeys, around 2007 we invented High Speed Internet. A second later we invented High Speed Internet Porn, aka porn tubes. The next 4-5 years were a very interesting experiment when it came to humanity consuming porn, aka High Speed Internet Porn, and its effects on the neurotransmitter Dopamine. We really, really, figured out how some of us could push the porn button to get a dopamine high. Unlike dial up, HSIP was instantaneous, and never ending. Dopamine works by rewarding thinking about sex, searching for sex, getting sex, and orgasm, because in nature, those things are very successful in causing us to do one of the two most successful survival events any species engages in: reproduction. So, you get the reward not just by rubbing one off while watching porn, you get the reward by simply watching it, because in watching it, you think about sex, and thinking about sex is rewarded. Further, you are all aware of the "click, click, click" problem, which is sitting down and surfing porn, sometimes for hours. So, it is not just seeing a porn image that produces a dopamine high, it is looking for never-before-seen porn images that produce a dopamine high. This again relates back to a naturally occurring, pre-existing--neurological reward function related to reproduction, being the innate, often unwanted, interest in new or other mates. This relates to is the Coolidge Effect: Nature has experimented with many sexual conducts, and at least one experiment involved humans being interested in (getting a dopamine high) from being with multiple sexual partners. The Coolidge Effect is why people look around and or cheat on their mates, but in terms of porn consumption, it is why we like clicking on the never-before-seen porn scene. We get a dopamine reward for that. The search for the never before seen gets us high.
This is all important to understand because if you do not, you do not know what the problem is, and if you do not know what the problem is, you cannot form a solution.
So, understand, you are not addicted to porn. No one ever has been. You are addicted to using porn to get to what you are actually addicted to: a neurological dopamine reward high that results from thinking about sex. Interestingly, about the time dial up was becoming common in the U.S., 1995, the concept of addiction to brain stimulation was the core concept in a movie starring Ralph Feines and Angela Bassett called Strange Days. I don't recommend the movie, it might be triggering, I did not think it was that great, but in some ways it predicted porn addiction, and how we use that tech to get high.
Gary Wilson published "The Great Porn Experiment" over 10 years ago, in 2012, and after that, the debate was on. It you have not seen Gary Wilson's Great Porn Experiment, go find it on youtube or Yourbrainonporn, and you can start studying...you.
I have to say that but for becoming what we call "addicted to porn" I would have walked through this world in complete ignorance of the power of motivational and reward neurotransmitters in the brain, which causes us to want and seek, naturally, sex and food, but which we have invented others means to trigger, such as too much sex (sex addiction), alcohol, drugs, and another behavioral addiction, gambling. What I have found in my journey is that just because a person is triggered by one addictive event, it does not follow that they are triggered by the others. I don't like drugs. I do like booze. I am not a sex addict, though when I was young, I might have been. Gambling bores me. I remember exactly where I was when I had to look myself in the mirror and say: "Hey asshole, you are addicted to porn." I now know that was an oversimplification of the problem, but saying that was me admitting to myself I was a lot weaker than I wanted to think, and the thought was devastating and humbling.
So, why am I writing this here now? Actually, I had thought about writing it July 18, 2024 because, if you look up at the "Hello Gentlemen" thread, you will see it was published exactly 10 years before. An anniversary of sorts.
What have I learned on this journey? Alot about the human brain and why we want what we want, why we do what we do. I have also learned this addiction, which I now call dopamine addiction, is not a lifetime condition. Understand, you did not "catch" this problem, this malady, you gave it to yourself. You conditioned your brain, via High Speed Internet Porn, to become addicted to using HSIP to get a dopamine high, every day, for years. You may not have known it was possible to do so, many did not. Again, the problem really manifested itself between 2007 and the invention of porn tubes, and 2012, when Gary Wilson began writing about it. The good news is, in my opinion, that since that time, 2012, more people have become educated about the problem, and are, therefore, avoiding it. Most people have not written here as long as I have, but, back in 2010, the newbies were posting so fast and often here that a thread that was at the top on Monday was on page 2 or 3 on the following Tuesday. Now, a post might say on page one for days or weeks. Why? Less posters, which I like to think is about more becoming aware that porn can cause a problem in the brain that is very difficult and painful to correct, and people avoiding that. Hell, that is the understatement of the week. If you are an addict all you really want, all you really love, is getting high. I believe that via forums like this, people are becoming educated about the problem and are therefore avoiding it. In school, I was taught "drugs are addictive." Had I been taught "porn is addictive" and why, I think I would have avoided it, or at least recognized if I was using it to get high.
Me? Have not been addicted for a decade. Could I still use it to get the high? Sure. But I don't miss it, when I do not use it. It is the "not missing" part that spells cured. Using something to get high does not mark one as an addict. Being unable to "not miss it" marks one as addicted.
If you are here struggling, understand, you trained your brain to be at the state it is at. You have used porn to stimulate naturally occurring brain rewards, that, naturally, are not rewarded anywhere near as much or powerfully as you can obtain via porn. You are not addicted to porn, per se, but are addicted to a dopamine high you can use porn to achieve. You are going to have to lay off porn and the dopamine high for a while, as in at least months, and when I quit, we did not really have the concept of "the hard 90", so I went a full year, and posted on Nofap every month that I was clean during that first year. You can get clean, it is imminently possible, but you have to go in knowing what you are doing, consciously knowing you are bending your reward pathways back to something close to a pre-porn state. Everyday you go without porn, it helps. I was pretty hard core when I quit, though now I know that less hard core can also work and be helpful. When I quit the withdrawals I felt were painful and terrifying. At the time I quit, which was a long time ago, we did not know how long those withdrawals would last, or if they were a permanent side effect of quitting porn. Without more experience or knowlege, I had to wake up every morning feeling the withdrawals and believing they might be there every day for the rest of my life. I had the thought: I am quitting porn, and I feel like total shit, my anxiety is through the roof, and I feel like I am dying. But, if feeling like I am dying every day for the rest of my life is what I have to do to quit porn, I will do it. You do not have to have that thought because those of us who have quit know that, yes, you feel like dying, but it won't last forever, and many report around 90 days it starts to recede and never comes back. If you are a full on porn addict you will find this difficult to believe, but I have not missed it for at least 10 years.
OK. For anyone who has read this, peace, and good luck on your journey. If I am still alive, I will post again July 18, 2034. Just kidding. I don't come here much any more, but every now and then I drop wisdom like a cow dropping a turd. So, you might see me here and there.
Much love.
WilliamOneAndDone
