Tried To talk

[Blank248]

Hi back again thought i would just get this off my chest since he wont talk to me... Finally asked the question Are You Looking At Porn?? His answer was categorically NO! Did I have proof... not in the sense he is talking about but I had lots of bread crumb stuff. Anyway he said that I don't trust him that he's not lying that I have a problem and that I am a jealous person haha... Yeah well when your long term partner is not really in the relationship as such U do get insecure... So I said look I know I have sprung this on you, I know 100% you are looking at porn again and I just want you to be honest with me and lets connect and really build a great relationship. to be honest I was pretty out of my mind when i was talking to him, crying rambling sobbing pleading you name it I did it lol, Never got angry Never blamed him or put him down... So I said also have some time think about it and get back to me and lets do this together lets beat this shit. Anyway that was yesterday and its like I said nothing... we have a dinner dance tonight and its weighing on me as I told him I loved him that I feel angry sad alone ugly unheard and Ive been going out of my mind over the last couple of months. So .... Nothing... so I'm thinking that's it, he's done, so I am going to pack my bag and move downstairs go to the doc for sleeping tablets and prepare this house to be sold. Just crazy... he's a really great guy anyway .... I just wish You men on here really got how we feel, I had a look at the shit they produce one of the go to sites and it's alarming. Please Stop, Porn leads to Domestic Violence in some cases, also you don't know those women stories on there, they could be abused made to do those things. Its such a messed up world and for the sake of our young people ... Stop ... Think ... of who you may be hurting and walk away from that screen...
Its just bloody SAD!!!

 

[Blank248]

BTW

He Never said he Loved Me...

 

[joepanic]

BTW

He Never said he Loved Me...

Not sure this has to do with porn. If he does not say I love you and it is something he used to do than there is a bigger problem at play here than porn. "If" he is seeking out porn than he is probably escaping from this bigger problem. Time to see a marriage councillor. If he won't go go yourself

 

[Blank248]

Hi thanks for the reply I value thoughts by others on here… I did think that also but he is not a sharer great at texting Cards Birthday presents even flowers but actually saying words and sharing feelings it’s very hard for him. He has five sisters whether that had influence who knows I had another chat after seeing your words and he suggested councilling … I’m not sure, I’m feeling very unstable in this relationship I said Mayb go to councillors on our own then do a joint one as you see he is still denying his porn use and I feel he will throw me under the bus and say I’m dreaming and making things up etc. I said about locking down his phone and he said yes do it and I said he needs to want to do it not make me the bad guy! He def has problems he’s been doing this a long time I said in 2010 then 2016 me or porn seems porn keeps winning oh well… I do wonder what he thinks when he denies to my face and stares me down and says the breadcrumbs are my imagination haha what is going on in his head at that Moment !! We will see …

 

[Gracie]

I ran across this meme on Facebook. Reading Blank248 posts, she feels like a lot of women do when the porn is an important part of their partner’s life. I thought I would post it here so men who have difficulty understanding the reaction and hurt can see perhaps a little clearer.

When you have a woman's heart and you choose to give other women attention, don't pretend it's no big deal - just because you aren't physically doing anything wrong, make no mistake you are psychologically screwing with her mental health by crushing her confidence and lowering her self-esteem which probably took her years to build... so if you do choose to do that then don't call her 'jealous' or 'insecure' because now you're just being a narcissistic as#hole as well!

It takes time for us to heal and move past what happened.

 

[Blank248]

Thank u … it makes me feel a whole lot better oh and he downloaded a blocking ap on his phone and all computers we use but we still have smart TV’s … I’ve got an appt with a councillor next Friday but I do feel better that he is trying. I must say I am not convinced yet though and will not let me guard down just yet! He still denies which seems nuts when he downloaded the Ap. He’s been really great as my Mum passed away so I am distracted at the moment … ok have a wonderful night and remember this is not just about u and Porn it’s about your wife your family the young people who get sucked into those sites … the future of relationships between us … please walk away from Porn !!