The Final Thread continues

new reality

new reality

Active Member
Scottie_B said:
Thank you for recommending The Freedom Model @new reality, it's been such a eye opening read and has given me a fresh and different perspective on it all.

The conversations on the forum from @Blondie, @Phineas 808, @GBS, @achilles heel, @der (I'm sure there are many folk I have missed) have been great off the back of the book as well.
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It's amazing. It might not click straight away, at least not fully, but it's definitely worth persisting with it, even if you're just mostly listening to the podcasts like me. I feel like I've finally reached a kind of Zen enlightenment about it all lol (actually I think the Zen guys have different ideas about enlightenment, but you get the idea).

It's like the connection between a "trigger" (which could include a random thought) and "acting out" has been severed. It's amazing how this "sudden" change has happened since last week, although you could argue that I've been listening to the podcasts and so on for several months now.
 
new reality

new reality

Active Member
Maybe The Freedom Model isn't the silver bullet, by itself. At least not for me. It's probably helped a fair bit though.

At the moment I'm doing well. I've done some things to make resetting much harder, decent blocks and all that. Also I've disabled Wi-Fi on an old laptop (opened the laptop up to do a good job on that!), so that I can do stuff without any internet distraction.

Also rediscovering old interests seems to be a big help.
 
new reality

new reality

Active Member
I was in a shop the other day and noticed one of Anna Lembke's books. I think it was the Workbook for Dopamine Nation. I didn't buy the book but I did some research and listened to a podcast with her. She's into the science around dopamine and talks about addiction a lot. Somewhat surprisingly, she's into 12-steps stuff quite a bit. She has other ideas too, so she's worth listening to.

I still wonder why we quit some things pretty easily, and other things seem to be much harder and involve numerous setbacks and so on. Maybe we need to have a fairly clear vision of a positive future without the addictive substance or behaviour. Many years ago I quit sugar (as in refined or added sugar) pretty easily. I was tired of putting on weight despite getting a lot of exercise. I think I was looking forward to one day being in good shape.

More recently I quit alcohol, apart from very occasional use, which will hopefully stop too. This was harder, but not as hard as the addiction(s) we talk about here. It got much easier when my body started complaining a lot shortly after drinking lol. I may have developed an intolerance for it or something. But also it's fairly easy to imagine a future where I'm fitter, more in shape, more energetic and so on.

As for the addiction(s) we talk about here.. sometimes when we start quitting, we may be prone to fairly grandiose ideas about what we and our lives will be like without the addiction. It may motivate us for a while but reality probably doesn't quite match up to the grandiose vision. So perhaps a simpler, but still positive vision is the way to go.
 
new reality

new reality

Active Member
(Edited for accuracy)

Recent streak: at first, I happened to be really focused on a particular hobby, which was great. Unfortunately my focus waned after doing something you could call charity-related. I don't want to brag about doing something for charity, just thought it might be relevant that a fairly "positive" thing led to me feeling quite tired and losing interest in the hobby temporarily.

Next, I was thinking that perhaps I'm not as healthy as I used to be, judging by how I felt after that charity thing. I am fairly fit, but fit and healthy are two different things. I knew a guy who was very fit, but died suddenly one day shortly after exercising. So where am I going with this? Well, this might sound a little dark, but I was thinking, what if I die while doing some kind of PMO? Lol. Not the most dignified way to go. Anyway that streak came to an end, so it wasn't enough.

Now I've improved my blocking setup, and I think I should make the "theme" of this (hopefully final) streak be about learning, applying, mindfulness and so on. Humility. All that good stuff. Not to be overly simplistic and over-confident about things.
 
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new reality

new reality

Active Member
I'm currently doing well for a couple of reasons that are probably going to be hard to explain. I re-listened to a series of podcasts about a historical figure who I find fascinating, as well as the time he lived in. I really enjoyed it and wanted to learn more, so I'm currently listening to some lectures about the subject. The "bad stuff" we talk about is considerably less tempting now.

new reality said:
Recent streak: at first, I happened to be really focused on a particular hobby, which was great.
Click to expand...

That "particular hobby" is also cool, but not quite as powerful against the appeal of the bad stuff, and a little more restricted in the ways I can learn about it, practise it and so on.

Another reason is harder to explain, and may be more relevant to my specific issue around the "bad stuff". If I get into a very "analytical" frame of mind about the issue, it kind of ruins the appeal of it.

Still it's fairly early days and I shouldn't get over-confident perhaps. I'll go into a bit more detail next time.
 
new reality

new reality

Active Member
Always a lot of ideas in my head, but they don't always work out in the long run...

I'm prone to thinking I've solved it. Well, maybe I won't post again until I'm at least three months away from the bad stuff. That would be a good test.
 
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