Starting the new year in a new way.

Bango Skank

Bango Skank

Active Member
Hi brothers.

I'm 48. Father of 3. Separated for 6 years from my wife.

I was posting on here for a while almost 10 years ago. Enjoyed some success. Several months clean streak and a brief revival of my marriage.... but since then it all went Pete Tong.

I haven't had any relationship or sex with a woman since the day I walked out 6 years ago. I just don't have the heart to move on... getting stuck in a slump where my only sexual release is jerking off every other night. I'm pretty sure I'm dysfunctional from conditioning myself this way and I wouldn't expect any woman to deal with that, let alone the humiliation/embarrassment I fear for myself. Ultimately a new relationship is what I want. At the same time I've got some considerable emotional baggage to sort out. I pined for my wife and my previous family life but I've been working hard to get over this. Maybe 6 years is how long it takes but I really feel like I'm leaving that behind me now.

Anyway, I'm doing a few things to get back on the wagon for 2025 with a healthy diet and I've overhauled my business over Christmas. Feeling good about those things at least. I have very few vices... I never drink, I never smoke, I never do drugs, I never gamble... but I really hope I can find the strength and motivation to break my most depressing habit, which is the same reason we're all here.

I'm on day 3 by the way.

Wow what a sniveling ramble that ended up as :ROFLMAO:. If you read this far, thank you. Wish me luck.
 
Bango Skank

Bango Skank

Active Member
Day 7. Since there's not a whole lot to report, I don't think I'll be accounting for myself daily unless it's to confess my sins. Hopefully not.

It's been easier than I expected and I don't remember abstaining for as long as a week in a good few years. Mostly because I haven't had the inclination to bother since the time when I was doing it to try and save my marriage. But unlike 10 years ago when I was hornier than Austin Powers after a week, I don't feel any different at all so far this time. Anyway I'll take a week as a milestone of sorts.

I'll keep shuffling along... I think the key is having stuff to focus my mind on.... some kind of purpose. Luckily I was greeted with an avalanche of work as I got back to professional mode this morning. Being back on my preferred low carb diet is feeling good too, after a whole month of indulgence in that department!

I'm quietly confident. I will update again pending significant events :cool:
 
Bango Skank

Bango Skank

Active Member
Relapsed in the shower last night. But I'm not going to beat myself up too much. There were no images or videos of course, just me and no particular thoughts either. Just the feelings. Just happened so fast and no excuses... I knew exactly what I was doing... Without going into gratuitous detail, I was amazed how fast and easy it was and especially at my (how do I put this...) volume and velocity... 😂

I haven't abstained for more than a couple days for many years and if this is the effect an 8 day streak has on me then I'm even more motivated to make it longer. The streak that is.

Reset to day 1. It's all a learning journey.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
Yo @Bango Skank - I will freely admit to buying biased on this subject, but I learned so much about myself from abstinence, so I applaud your efforts. See if you can do two weeks without, and check on your mental state then. Good luck mate.
 
Percival

Percival

Active Member
Applaud your desire to make this a new year! This journey is really all about self-discipline and making yourself a better you. Being free from porn and/or masturbation, while good in themselves, is really kind of just a side effect. Keep it up!
 
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