Bango Skank
Active Member
Disclaimer guys, this has turned into a more long winded post than I expected (once you get started with a confessional it's easy to get carried away) so I'm sorry about that 
Also I may reference things that are moderately triggering, so... obligatory warning.
Don't get me wrong, I have the same problem as all my brothers in abstinence here, which is an addiction to reaching the big O with the help of whatever stimulus we've become accustomed to. I could swear I heard Gary Wilson once saying you can train yourself to get aroused by a teapot if you set your mind to it - although I might be misattributing that to him. The problem we all have of course is that this stimulus is not a real and present human partner. So for me it has rarely been porn. My preferred material is basically any photos of attractive women/models, be they erotic or sexually suggestive... or just dressed in some nice skirt or whatever.
The most likely reason I can put it down to is that's what I grew up on during my teens. There was no internet back then and I didn't have the balls to go into a shop and reach for the top shelf, other than one occasion during which I felt so ashamed and self conscious while I was at the cashier and wasn't really aroused by the content anyway. During those formative years I relied on the lingerie and swimwear pages of mail order catalogues... replaying VHS recordings of TV adverts for soap that showed a clip of some lady in the shower... then it was copies of car magazines like Max Power that featured a few pages of models in bikinis... and then even later on it was other mags like FHM. I just didn't have easy access to porn before we got the internet in our house, by which time I was about 18 or 19. So I think my pre-existing preferences just transferred over to the online space. Psychologists feel free to tell me I'm talking guff here. Of course I have watched some porn over the years but my general impression mostly is of it being fake, overacted and "plastic" if that makes sense.
One thing that causes me some embarrassment to admit is that I have always had a habit of collecting a lot of this material. I'm sure I can't be the only one here. And when I say "a lot" I mean A LOT. The external hard drive I formatted last week on new year's eve had almost a quarter million images on it, downloaded and saved over the last 10 years. It literally was like a private hobby. The sources varied from "glamour" websites that I have paid a subscription for off and on (MetArt being one of the best known), to finding big zipped up collections on less legitimate sites, to simply trawling favourites lists on Flickr for anything that appealed to me. My heart skipped a beat as I deleted them all because there was a voice on my shoulder screaming "That's 10 years of work searching and sorting and how much did you pay for some of them...!".
It felt like a big decision, and the fact that this repository is no longer easily available has been a comfort since my "purge". I know that there is a certain degree of time and effort required to even start amassing such a collection again. It's the buffer, the small barrier to entry that I hear helps a lot of guys struggling with our problem.
So anyway that was something I have been pondering the last few days as I browsed the forums. I wonder how common this is.
Forgive me if this is derailing the general focus of conversation here... I understand if it need to be relocated.
I'm well aware of my tendency to ramble so as ever, thanks for reading this far.
Also I may reference things that are moderately triggering, so... obligatory warning.
Don't get me wrong, I have the same problem as all my brothers in abstinence here, which is an addiction to reaching the big O with the help of whatever stimulus we've become accustomed to. I could swear I heard Gary Wilson once saying you can train yourself to get aroused by a teapot if you set your mind to it - although I might be misattributing that to him. The problem we all have of course is that this stimulus is not a real and present human partner. So for me it has rarely been porn. My preferred material is basically any photos of attractive women/models, be they erotic or sexually suggestive... or just dressed in some nice skirt or whatever.
The most likely reason I can put it down to is that's what I grew up on during my teens. There was no internet back then and I didn't have the balls to go into a shop and reach for the top shelf, other than one occasion during which I felt so ashamed and self conscious while I was at the cashier and wasn't really aroused by the content anyway. During those formative years I relied on the lingerie and swimwear pages of mail order catalogues... replaying VHS recordings of TV adverts for soap that showed a clip of some lady in the shower... then it was copies of car magazines like Max Power that featured a few pages of models in bikinis... and then even later on it was other mags like FHM. I just didn't have easy access to porn before we got the internet in our house, by which time I was about 18 or 19. So I think my pre-existing preferences just transferred over to the online space. Psychologists feel free to tell me I'm talking guff here. Of course I have watched some porn over the years but my general impression mostly is of it being fake, overacted and "plastic" if that makes sense.
One thing that causes me some embarrassment to admit is that I have always had a habit of collecting a lot of this material. I'm sure I can't be the only one here. And when I say "a lot" I mean A LOT. The external hard drive I formatted last week on new year's eve had almost a quarter million images on it, downloaded and saved over the last 10 years. It literally was like a private hobby. The sources varied from "glamour" websites that I have paid a subscription for off and on (MetArt being one of the best known), to finding big zipped up collections on less legitimate sites, to simply trawling favourites lists on Flickr for anything that appealed to me. My heart skipped a beat as I deleted them all because there was a voice on my shoulder screaming "That's 10 years of work searching and sorting and how much did you pay for some of them...!".
It felt like a big decision, and the fact that this repository is no longer easily available has been a comfort since my "purge". I know that there is a certain degree of time and effort required to even start amassing such a collection again. It's the buffer, the small barrier to entry that I hear helps a lot of guys struggling with our problem.
So anyway that was something I have been pondering the last few days as I browsed the forums. I wonder how common this is.
Forgive me if this is derailing the general focus of conversation here... I understand if it need to be relocated.
I'm well aware of my tendency to ramble so as ever, thanks for reading this far.
Last edited:
