GL🌞W EDGE🦁 L💓VE DR🏃🏻‍♂️‍➡️VE ✨THRILL🧠WIT WE🏡LTH HEAL🔋H

[christianvirgin]

FLEE FORNICATION AND GET RICH!​

THE THING IS TO SACRIFICE MY PERNICIOUS IMMEDIATE SELF-GRATIFICATION ON THE ALTAR OF THE EXPONENTIAL ABUNDANT LIVING.​

ONE DAY AT A TIME, JUST FOCUS ON QUITTING THE HABIT TODAY.

I DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE SEWER TO KNOW IT'S DIRTY.

WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS JUST FADE AWAY AS I ABSTAIN.
TRIALS ARE LIKE AIRPLANE TURBULENCE WHILE SAFELY REACHING DESTINATION.

RESISTING FANTASIES INCREASES MY STRENGTH AND VITALITY, LUST REJECTED BECOMES VIBING.

I WANT TO DISCOVER THE BLISS OF SUCCESS, TO TASTE THE EXPONENTIAL BENEFITS DAY BY DAY, UNAPOLOGETICALLY WINNING, TO GLORIFY GOD, MINISTER TO OTHERS & GET HEAVENLY TREASURES AND REWARDS, PROSPERING IN SERENITY ON THIS EARTH, LIVING IN VICTORY WITH PURE LOVE EXCITEMENT IN MY MARITAL IDYLL.


DAY 1 • Sprouting Amidst Chaos​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0,5
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

did a bible study, bought fruits and water, printed documents for job training starting very soon, beautiful cashier (also kinda tried to talk despite the anxiety, mumbling "I wish you a good day")
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt), upstairs neighbor coughing loudly, sleepy eyes bags, too thin, anxiety, anti-white invasion, inhibition when I was able to talk to the beautiful cashier (just mumbled "I wish you a good day") and feeling kinda heartbroken even for her as I see she might be interested but I'm so much of a mess unfortunately (that opportunity has been here for months), some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating)
The flesh always win if I try to "edge" and it takes several days to recover from the devastating relapse. It's an awful frustrating miserable feeling to have to start all over again back to square zero.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 2 • A Dangerous Drift​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0,5
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

went out, went to the library, read a little bit something interesting
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt), upstairs neighbor coughing loudly, sleepy eyes bags, too thin, anxiety, anti-white invasion, some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), almost relapsed (with strong tempting thoughts), wasted money on crisps, watched stupid defiling things, wasted time online
Chaser effects can be very strongly tempting especially if there are still shades of my previous relapse available on my device. Always delete everything in that sense for safety.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 3 • Lonely Spring​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0,5
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

went out, went to the library, took some sun
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt), upstairs neighbor coughing loudly, sleepy eyes bags, too thin, anxiety, anti-white invasion, some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), watched stupid defiling things, wasted time online
Recognition or satisfaction can't be found online. Notifications are just distractions (unless it's a confirmation to meet with someone or such). I must go through this lonely desert and take my time to heal in real life.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 4 • Nonchalant In Nature​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0,5
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0,5
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 1
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

saw beautiful cashier, went out in nature, took some good amount of sun, bought some basic things for upcoming job training school housing, perhaps emotional resensitization through a little bit of grief
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt), upstairs neighbor coughing loudly, sleepy eyes bags, too thin, anxiety, anti-white invasion, some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), watched stupid defiling things, wasted time online, beautiful cashier rather indifferent this time when I said goodbye, didn't really prepare at all for tomorrow's job training start, stress, wasted money on McDonald's
There's bliss to discover in the simple blessings of life.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 5 • Trouble On The First Day​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0,5
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sun, cool breeze, new job training starting, individual room for housing at the center, saw a very beautiful girl right outside the center at the end of the day (enthusiastic hope for my future marriage perhaps), found an interesting company to hopefully do an internship there (I must ask and apply), bought a little bit of food, prayed to God a little bit on the evening
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt in the other city), upstairs neighbor coughing loudly in the other city, sleepy eyes bags, too thin, anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), stress, light but annoying background noise (music from neighbor especially) in the room at one time, got into trouble / failure on the first practical course because I was taken in some other duty first and so they apparently just started an exercise without explaining it to me and I didn't know what to do and someone actually came trying to help but opened a WRONG electric cabinet for me and I had to reconnect the cables and didn't know where to connect them back and the fat old trainer didn't care one bit to help or whatever else except to put me on the spot for my unexpected mistake (utter failure then, and upset and anxious for tomorrow practical session then, as I'm now out of step I guess mainly)
There's literally a gorgeous girl around the corner even perhaps for marriage out there. So don't be so much desperate for one particular girl and take care of yourself.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 6 • Maths, Electricity, City & Sunlight​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0,5
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 1
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 1
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0,5
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sunny day, sense of doing right and bettering and learning this time in job training, walked taking the sun to buy a little bit of food mainly, took a restful night, perhaps eyes are starting to heal from sleepy bags
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the other city, sleepy eyes bags (although perhaps a little less), too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online, stress of not knowing the answers in electrical mathematics at first, distracted by a YouTube whorrish girl while in class
I can succeed in maths if I memorize and apply the right formulas, and if I structure and develop my answers well on paper.
Entertainment and distraction are interference and self-destruction. Let the reaching of my goals on time be the only source of fun I have.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 7 • Appeal & Temptations​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0,5
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 1
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0,5
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sunny day, learning electric maths, bought pants and socks, feeling handsome and attractive, got the urge to talk to a pretty girl who was looking at me often and could, went to 2 libraries, little spiritual sign (Gospel reminder) I think
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the other city I left, sleepy eyes bags (although perhaps a little less), too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online, stress or boredom of not knowing the answers in electrical mathematics, distracted by tempting girls after class, couldn't move school lesson files from USB to my phone
I could move files from USB to phone using SD card adapter.
I can sleep before 9 and wake up at 4 so that I take 2-3H to study the morning before class. And so the evening I could talk to some pretty lady.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 8 • Tedious Errors & Gorgeous Girls​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0,5
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 1
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0,5
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sunny day, learning electric maths and drawings, feeling handsome and attractive especially on the evening, saw several pretty and gorgeous girls in my area (beautiful challenging hope for marriage; it seems once or twice a week I will be able to talk to a gorgeous girl here), went to the library, noticed some mount and castle vestige I could visit, read about a museum exposition about deserts in Paris I could go to
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the other city I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough like my first night here once again, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep way too late, stress or boredom of not knowing the answers in electrical drawings, perhaps distracted by tempting girls after class, couldn't move school lesson files from USB to Google drive at the library, drove the car around the city too much due to unexpected paid (and blocked) access to some streets and even a forbidden way sign with the GPS not considering it (and now I must put gas), wasted money on poor food, brief lascivious touch against right arm passing by a girl at the supermarket
I memorize things better in the evening relaxing after class it seems. So the morning could be used for exercises applying formulas, drawings etc. and the evening for memorizing the lesson.
It feels way more amazing to be in love with the gorgeous girl than to destroy myself in lust with a whore.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 9 • Temptation VS. Sublimation​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0,5
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0,5
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0,5
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sunny day, learning electric maths and drawings, feeling handsome and attractive, went to the library, talked 1H to an attractive pretty girl in a park and eventually got her number with potential future meet ups, moved school lesson files to Google drive
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the city I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep too late, distracted by very tempting girls after class at the library, lustful eyes to a girl at the library, embarrassment when I left the girl because her boyfriend was coming unexpectedly at the end (didn't ask her if she was single)
To talk to the girl, the thing is to have a good, even amusing, personal motive: that would be a good exercise to develop my creativity, getting a thrill out of facing those fears, a sublime note to add to my journal, cultivate my social skills, etc. Don't take yourself too seriously, and hello + situational phrase to start the conversation casually (elaborating on one or several mutual interests). Don't forget to check if she's single in the middle of the conversation for example (you don't want to end embarrassed if a boyfriend shows up). One way to avoid embarrassment (and gauge your dynamic) is to ask if she's waiting for someone (in the middle of the conversation, for example). Know where you want to go with it (don't just talk just to talk) offering future date plans (exhibition, park, forest, lake, festival, show...), and know when to leave her (1H maximum for example, not to cling like a mussel but to be the rock yourself so to speak).

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 10 • Near The Deadly Cliff​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0,5
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 0,5 (P-sub w/ pics on a chatting app, attempt at sexting on another one as well)
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0,5
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sunny day, feeling rather handsome and attractive, briefly talked to an attractive librarian, said something to another attractive girl with possibility to continue the conversation, several eye contacts with the beautiful cashier, prayed quickly for the blessings of some child and for the beautiful cashier (the latter with teary eyes)
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) back in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and in real life, couldn't download school lesson files from Google drive to my phone, lustful eyes on tempting girls, watched P-sub pics on a chatting app, made unfruitful pointless sexting attempts, so rather ashamed and regrets, lights on WiFi on while falling asleep with the phone screen, sneezing probably due to dust and mold in the messy dirty studio apartment
Wasting the many great benefits of purity for a little bit of deceitful fleshly pleasure would be like wasting money on some chips and cheese or any junk food and let me tell you from experience: IT'S NOT WORTH IT AT ALL as you realize quickly afterwards with a stomach ache and perhaps even a headache, telling yourself "why did I do it??" So DON'T DO IT. Keep thyself pure, and let the thrill of life grow as you discover the many treasures of that exponential bliss you're on as long as you abstain from that carnal trap.
Chatting apps are extremely dangerous.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 11 • Time Flying On A Cloudy Day​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 0,5 (little lascivious attempt at sexting)
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

did a Bible study, briefly went out, loudly coughing fat upstairs neighbor gone
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) back in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep too late, didn't study electrical maths or drawings, didn't clean up studio apartment, didn't even do the laundry
Time only lasts a few brief hours, I cannot do whatever I want in the day drifting away in distraction and then somehow still being on time to do the necessary things. Either I sacrifice that time to dissipate myself in deceits and worry, or I just use it for my personal discipline and peace of mind. Applying a schedule is essential.
Picnic is also an option when it comes to offering future date plans.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 12 • Tiredness, Brain Fog, Convicting Heartbreak​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0,5
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 0,5 (little lascivious texting)
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

went out to buy food, saw a gorgeous stunning girl I could go talk to several times (the bitter heartbreak of letting the opportunity slip convicted me afterwards with tears), prayed to God
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep late, didn't study electrical maths or drawings, frustrating bitter regrets following that opportunity with the gorgeous stunning girl
Choose the frightening clumsy ridicule right here right now (that'll keep you humble too) over the frustrating bitter regrets following you for a long time.
Always live seriously with integrity as to prepare yourself for that wonderful stunning gorgeous girl.
Don't throw away that amazing possibility with the vicious trap of distraction.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 13 • Cloudy Rainbow​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0,5
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 1
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

was active and learning in the practical work session the morning and understood and started well the next one on the afternoon I think, friendly vibe with classmates and some sense of assurance or serenity overall, went out to buy things (in the hope of meeting that stunning gorgeous girl), noticed some eye contacts perhaps (challenging hope for marriage), feeling handsome and attractive
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep late, didn't study electrical maths or drawings at home, disorder in my papers (lessons and exercises), must watch out financially
ChatGPT can be pretty convenient for studying and learning (and verifying).
People get friendly when you stay physically chaste, as if you irradiate a reassuring aura.
Enthusiasm also develops, as if doors of your dreams finally start to open a little, making the light of possibilities shine upon your renewed rejuvenated person.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 14 • Love Dream & Distraction​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0,5
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0,5
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

love and sex dream with the gorgeous girl I loved since 15y.o. (I almost reached orgasm, even without friction I think) even perhaps more stunning and striking than that girl I noticed recently (there's always a gorgeous girl around the corner type of thing)
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep late, didn't study electrical maths or drawings at home, disorder in my papers (lessons and exercises), must watch out financially, didn't do the homework, distraction, jesting on my own
I tend to jest when I'm left on my own, which is despicable: I must stay put together in integrity and remain in a meditative calm, which is more rewarding or resensitizing.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 15 • The Revenge of the Flesh​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0,5
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

capable of progress, did some homework in the morning, didn't let my intestines issues make me quit
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep late, didn't study electrical maths or drawings at home, disorder in my papers (lessons and exercises), must watch out financially, intestines issues preventing me from working well (out of step even in practical work session)
I must stop wasting money on bad food like canned salads or some cheese etc. (junk food obviously too). Otherwise, my body is preventing me from functioning as I should, and is defiling me and hurting me. Taking care of my diet is essential.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 16 • Failing Forward In A Wicked World​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0,5
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 0,5 (lascivious attempt in texting)
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sun back, practiced singing, got the stuck shower sink fixed at training center housing (saw use of hydrochloric acid and the thing to do in case of such issue), little progress in practical work session perhaps, decent weekend job opportunities still popping anyway
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, disgusting heartbreaking anti-white invasion increasingly outrageous, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep late, didn't study electrical maths or drawings at home, disorder in my papers (lessons and exercises), must watch out financially, out of step in practical work session
The price for being a pervert is long lasting heartbreak, loneliness, misery and chaos.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 17 • Terrible Textual Temptation​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 0 (sexting, interactive textual P, without M nor O)
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sun back, went to the library trying to read something interesting a little bit, some weird random guy talked to me as I was chilling in the sun and another guy asked me if I was fine spontaneously smiling when he saw me hitting the back of my head a little bit against the wall as I was just chilling on the bench outside (perhaps magnetic aura increasing), didn't relapse in *watching* P nor in M/O despite the extreme temptation in the major setback I had as I indulged in a lustful textual sexting with a stranger, less anxious even despite some clumsiness perhaps
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep late, didn't study electrical maths or drawings at home, disorder in my papers (lessons and exercises), must watch out financially, indulged in lustful textual sexting with a stranger (then discouragement rationalizing a near ritualistic relapse)
I gain magnetic charismatic aura socially as I abstain, because I witnessed some people naturally kindly initiating little interactions with me (even just for salutations), also people's eyes being more on me it seems. Paradoxically, I get less anxious also (although when they asked me a question, I still get nervous or get anxious thinking about my past, but it's more like breaking free through some necessary vulnerability as I recover).

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 18 • Fresh Air VS. Flesh Errors​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 0 (sexting, interactive textual lasciviousness with a slight P-sub, without M nor O)
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 1
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sun, didn't relapse in *watching* P nor in M/O despite the extreme temptation in the major setback I had as I indulged in a lustful textual sexting with a stranger, said goodbye to the pretty cashier and she replied back, walked in nature by the lake
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep late, didn't study electrical maths or drawings at home, disorder in my papers (lessons and exercises), must watch out financially, indulged in lustful textual sexting with a stranger (then discouragement rationalizing a near ritualistic relapse), snapped out of rage due to malfunctioning tech or errors
Connecting with some healing enzymes while walking in God's creation has a gentle convicting process that hinders the pernicious lust of the flesh, leading to repentance even through the goodness of God. Choose serenity and peace and eventually prosperity instead of the usual misery and frustration and heartbreak.

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 19 • Meditative Mighty Mountain​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0,5
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 0 (sexting, interactive textual lasciviousness with a slight P-sub, without M nor O)
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 1
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sun, didn't relapse in *watching* P nor in M/O despite the temptation in the setback I had as I indulged in a lustful textual sexting with a stranger (it got boring), little formal interaction with the pretty cashier (she asked for a discount card, could use that line for a next interaction), walked in nature in the mountain and by the river (here where an old man started talking with me even all the way back, magnetic aura increasing perhaps)
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep late, didn't study electrical maths or drawings at home, disorder in my papers (lessons and exercises), must watch out financially, indulged in lustful textual sexting with a stranger, stress, fed up with the rat race type of scenario
The lascivious fleshly thrill eventually gets boring and something I get tired of. Don't be deceived by its initial allure, because it gets old and fades away rather quickly. So don't sacrifice the permanent (exponential purity power) on the altar of the immediate (deceitful cheap thrill).

 

[christianvirgin]

DAY 20 • Tough Soil, Fine Eyes​

•Sleep before 9pm last night: 0
•Workout 1H: 0
•Eat 3× meat, vegetables & fruits / Fast: 0,5
•Apply impeccable hygiene: 0,5
•Clear up, clean up housing: 0
•Pray 2H fragmented: 0
•NO P,M,sexting etc.,fornication: 1
•Execute my own business/investment: 0
•Read/study/learn sth new: 0
•Memorize scripture or lesson: 0
•Draw/write/make song/walk in nature: 0
•Witness to people about the Gospel: 0

sun, eye contacts and opportunity to talk with an attractive pretty girl at the supermarket, some middle aged woman playfully told me "missed!" as I tried to cast a receipt in the bin at the supermarket and I told her "next time!" and she laughed (magnetic aura increasing perhaps), humility, some quiet sense of assurance nonetheless, memorizing road between that supermarket and housing
nightmare of neglect (messy dirty studio apt) in the town I left, sleepy eyes bags, didn't sleep well enough, too thin (I think, but cool nonetheless), anxiety, anti-white invasion, perhaps some paperwork online I still must take care of and didn't get a company for my internship yet (latent annoying worry due to procrastinating), wasted time online and went to sleep late, didn't study electrical maths or drawings at home, disorder in my papers (lessons and exercises), must watch out financially, stress, fed up with the rat race type of scenario, out of step behind in the practical work session (thought about giving up that job training already today), was then mentally demotivated when I saw the attractive pretty girl
As a plant growing through the ground, a disabled person getting by, a healing patient in rehab, I can reach success on time at my own pace, even throughout different places.