Next generation

[Gracie]

As I sit and write this, I am so pissed. The porn addiction crap has now reared its ugly head in my grad girl’s life. Her husband shared, finally, with her he is a porn addict. She like her grandma, me, by the way, was thinking of suicide. WTF? Why, why, why porn? What is so much better than the wonderful woman that you have? She is devastated and marriage is on the brink. Does no one doing this realize the damage that can come? 60% of divorces have porn as an element. Hopefully we can get him and her the help they need. Pardon me while I say, Fuck You porn! You piece of shit that belongs in no one’s life!

 

[Gracie]

Well was able to talk to grand girl. She is feeling the pain of, was it my body, was it me, what did I do, now I cannot trust him. So sad to me. I would do anything to spare her the pain and confusion that comes with this. She is ashamed and is right now using withdrawal to deal with it. So hard to watch. She was the first grandchild so is very special.

 

[Gracie]

So grand girl is still in the cycle of what to do about the situation. Unfortunately, it appears to be divorce. So another marriage bites the dust due to porn use by a husband. I am devastated that this is happening . I don’t understand how the pixel parade can be preferred over a human partner. Why people risk their job, their married life, their money for an orgasm. The loss is so great. Broken marriages and broken hearts. A complete breakdown of trust.
My heart hurts today.

 

[Gracie]

Well it is absolutely official, my grand girl is divorcing her husband. So porn wins once again. Why, is it necessary to watch? Why is it acceptable to creep around watching, all the while telling a wife you are the only one!? I will never be able to figure it out. Haha if I could I would be wealthy indeed. So sad porn is winning so many battles!

 

[Blank248]

Hi Gracie how sad that’s so tough for your granddaughter it feels like this will certainly happen more and more as the world of media and online becomes very sexualised… just tits and ass everywhere I just try and switch off these days have no respect for my partner in many ways, trust has gone I’m hanging on for now as he’s such a great man in many other ways but I feel as we grow old together i have a love/hate thing going on! We have blockers but at his work the computer is not, so I fear he is tempted I can feel it in my gut. Anyway I’m hoping there is no children so far in your grandy relationship, they just don’t get how it destroys self esteem and trust. Makes me angry reading your story… nothing is more attractive in a partner than true commitment love and just switching off those devices …

 

[Gracie]

Hi Gracie how sad that’s so tough for your granddaughter it feels like this will certainly happen more and more as the world of media and online becomes very sexualised… just tits and ass everywhere I just try and switch off these days have no respect for my partner in many ways, trust has gone I’m hanging on for now as he’s such a great man in many other ways but I feel as we grow old together i have a love/hate thing going on! We have blockers but at his work the computer is not, so I fear he is tempted I can feel it in my gut. Anyway I’m hoping there is no children so far in your grandy relationship, they just don’t get how it destroys self esteem and trust. Makes me angry reading your story… nothing is more attractive in a partner than true commitment love and just switching off those devices …

There are no grandchildren thank goodness. It just pisses me off that men can just decide that hey this is better than you. I know, I know, they just are doing something that has nothing to do for their love of us. Yeah, yeah I get it but I don’t. Choosing porn and hiding it and making a conscious decision to watch. Meanwhile women, like us, are judged every day on our boobs butts and waist. We are expected to wrinkle free too. So, we cannot compare. Just is such a mind game. Glad you spoke up, does make me feel better.

 

[joepanic]

There are no grandchildren thank goodness. It just pisses me off that men can just decide that hey this is better than you. I know, I know, they just are doing something that has nothing to do for their love of us. Yeah, yeah I get it but I don’t. Choosing porn and hiding it and making a conscious decision to watch. Meanwhile women, like us, are judged every day on our boobs butts and waist. We are expected to wrinkle free too. So, we cannot compare. Just is such a mind game. Glad you spoke up, does make me feel better.

"hey this is better than you" Said no man ever. It's called "addiction" Addiction is a sickness and needs to be treatred as a sickness

 

[joepanic]

And decided divorce as a course of action after 6 days of the socalled "d day" Gotta shake my head on this one Guess the vow of in sickness and in health was forgotten pretty quick. addiction is a sickness just some don't want to admit to that.

 

[hoopvol]

Hi Gracie,

I’ve been thinking about you (and Bob) lately; wondering how you’re doing. So I came here to the forum and my heart broke reading this. I’m so so sorry she has to go through this.
I hope she lives close to you? You helped so many women, but this must be really different.
I really hope there will be more awareness soon. Our young people learn about the risks of using alcohol, drugs, gambling and nowadays also about social media. But porn is still no topic.
I hope she’ll find the strength to recover. She’s lucky to have you!
To Joepanic I’d like to say:
D-day isn’t the day the problems start. Before that there’s a long time of:
- knowing something is off, but not sure what it is.
- noticing that intimacy is fading. The rejection and the lack of interest is devastating. Many women start to think there’s something wrong with them ( and their body)
- when trying to bring it up, there’s a lot of lying and gaslighting. I think this is the worst part: trust is broken and trust is the foundation of every relationship
D-day is the day it all becomes clear; the day all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place.

I understand why you call it an sickness. But if you do, you should know that broken relationships is a very sad symptom of this sickness.

Sending love and strength to everyone who needs it. Especially to you, Gracie, and your grand girl.

Love,
Hoopvol

 

[Gracie]

Hoopvol,
So good to hear from you. I think many men do not realize that our gut and 6th sense are buzzing long before D day. I know for me I can remember working in the garden and thinking when we get older is this it? We are some sort of roommates going about our own business? We see little tidbits along the way, but not in a hundred years expect this. The lies, half truths all lead to broken trust, and then the self doubt as well. Then wondering were they ever in love with us? Did they ever think we were fun, smart, good-looking?

Still here hoping to help. I hope things are going well for you. I still have “moments” from time to time but overall doing quite well.

Gracie

 

[Blank248]

I totally agree about the gut feelings, the betrayal, the feelings of not being good enough! Yes I wonder can my partner really love someone he’s a bloody great liar and actor, it’s undermined our relationship where trust is barely there but since he’s put blockers on I do feel safer. But your right they talk about safety online a lot but they never ever use the P word PORN I feel it’s protected because so many men use it love it won’t give it up for no one or nothing. I feel sad for the future I just hope enough good men and women stand together to beat this scourge on society but I fear it’s too ingrained and people are in denial… it affects us all everyday. I hope ur grand daughter is ok