Killing the Dragon

[Zeke30]

My name is Zeke, and I'm from Argentina. I've never had a streak of more than 7 days. I've struggled with P*rn/PMO since I was 16 (now I'm 30 y/o). In November 2025, for the first time, I had a winning streak of 11 days.

Regarding the title, as Chesterton said: Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.

Today, February 3rd, 2026, I decided to start fighting it once again.

Triggers:
1) When I'm feel lonely
2) when I'm feeling bored.
3) Mostly, when I feel that 'I need it to feel happy.'

Why I'm trying to quit it:
1) Moral/spiritual reasons (I'm a Protestant Christian, and I feel like I'm failing God), also I have a high view of marriage and sex (P*orn makes me behave like an animal; I'm more than that. Also, I expect to build a lifelong and transcendent relationship with a girl, in terms of Song of Solomon, cultivating a 'lush and splendid Garden' with her
2) To avoid wasting a lot of time (and avoid further problems)
3) To get more motivated (avoiding the dopamine spikes)
4) To feel better throughout the day (Dopamine peaks and its subsequent crashes can overshadow the simple joys of everyday life)
5) To be 'healed/whole' before getting married

Plan to quit:
1) Preventing and controlling the triggers
i) fleeing from it
ii) zero tolerance (avoid the 'slippery slope')

2) Achieving winning streaks to reset the dopamine system and rewire my habits/psychology learnings to enjoy other things that God and life offer.
In November, I felt I could do it. The brain rewires itself if you give it enough time. If I happen to fall, I’ll get back up. My goal isn't 'never falling,' but building streaks and eventually reaching a 2 to 3-month mark until I feel free.

PLAN FOR THE 3 TRIGGERS:
1) Feeling alone: seek some connection with people, friends, posting here and sharing with you, listen mindfully to honest music about personal struggles (Jelly Roll, NF, Stephen Stanley, etc)

2) Feeling Bored: i) get to work or study ii) have a to-do list of 'interesting and fun things to do.'

3) Feel the need to be happy: 1) accept that I might not feel 100% happy for a couple of weeks 2) learn to enjoy more the good things I already have. 3) Thank God for the things I already have.

A minor trigger could be anxiety (I don't think it is a main one for me). Write down every worry and pray for every one of them. I'm thinking of the quote "The way to be anxious about nothing is to be prayerful about everything" by D. A. Carson.

That said, today is my first day. I have a hunch this time will be different. I'll be posting updates almost every day on how I'm doing.

 

[Zeke30]

Day 2 - 1-day streak


Yesterday was somewhat hard. I felt blue, but not exactly "sad", but in the sense that my main trigger was the need for a spike of dopamine. I was to get a cold shower, but when I was cooking dinner, I felt better.

Also, I'm quitting drinking beer. I had issues with it. I was fat, but I've already lost 18kg (39lbs) while gaining muscle and strength. One of my main triggers was the desire for sweets and sugar. Beer contains a specific sugar called 'maltose', which has a glycemic index of 105. To put that in perspective, that’s significantly higher than table sugar, which sits at 70. I have succeeded against beer by substituting it with yogurt/milk chocolate, etc. I don't like most alcoholic drinks (wine, etc), except for the sugary ones (beer and sugary drinks).

Regarding these two issues (PMO and Beer), yesterday I was thinking of a two-list framework.

1) LIST OF TRIGGERS, and the potential solutions to each one.

2) LIST OF PREVENTATIVES and the reason/benefit of doing it.

 

[Zeke30]

LIST OF (MY) TRIGGERS:​

• Need for a dopamine spike
  • Cold shower
  • Doing something 'fun'
• Boredom
  • Grind on work and study
  • Maintain a "productive fun" to-do list (I mean the funniest stuff of work/study let it for the night, and do the boring/hard part early)
• Lonely
  • Talk to someone, going out with friends
  • Post on IG
  • Post on Reboot
  • Post on my profession (stock markets) related forums
  • Mindfully listen to music (Jelly Roll, NF, Stephen Stanley)/ interesting content

PREVENTATIVES:​

• Plan the day with deadlines (every hour), eliminate music during the day, and jumpstart the day
  • The goal is to 'grind on' and avoid being "bored".
• Dopamine Cycling
  • Eliminate dopamine spikes, such as sugar, music, and scrolling on social media during the day.
  • Allow them at night (music, fun things, etc.).
• Avoid Cues
  • Mainly by staying busy with deadlines and avoiding boredom.
• Zero Tolerance
  • Avoid giving in even 1mm, as the slippery slope will get me.
• I'll keep in mind that 'partial slips' are not equal to total relapse
  • I will progress by spending time without PMO (Keep Slaying/Strikes). Since
    Dopamine receptors will become sensitized over time, and I'll be filling the 'psychological void' that was filled previously by PMO.

 

[Zeke30]

Day 3 - 2-day streak

7 things:

1) I've got the 'normal sensitivity', when I woke up, even though it wasn't 'morning wood' yet, I felt a lot more sensitive.

2) I have to learn how to handle girls liking my photos on IG, especially if I consider them 'attractive' but not 'wife material'. That has been a trigger a couple of times, as it got me to fantasies and MO. Then, I got into 'full PMO' (in the past).

3) I’m going to grind through work today to keep my mind off PMO. (today it's a rainy day — which is an increased risk for me)

4) Yesterday, I had an 'Alfajor' (a typical Argentine snack) to manage the dopamine/PMO/sugar cravings. It helped a bit. I’m trying to lose weight by cutting 'empty calories,' but right now, my priority is fighting PMO. It seems that a bit of sugar/favourite snack may help with the 'dopamine-low sensation' caused by PMO.

5) I was thinking of clarifying what I meant regarding 'cutting off music', as it is misleading in this forum. The reason for doing so is that I was a musician (I played several instruments, and I like music a lot), but it distracts me when I have to do intense, focused analytical work, like financial analysis. As I said before, listening "mindfully" to certain kinds of music (Jelly Roll, NF, Love and Death (ex-Korn guitarist)), it might be a pretty good coping-mechanism to feel like I'm not the only one who is fighting addiction and mental distress.

6) PS: I'm recovering strength. Yesterday I weightlifted 140kg x 3 reps (308 pounds). I felt happy for that. My record two years ago was 150-160kg.

7) Regarding how I'm doing—the cravings aren't as intense as they were yesterday or the day before. However, since my sensitivity is returning, I need to keep my guard up.

 

[Zeke30]

Day 4 - (3-day streak)

Yesterday was somewhat difficult to deal with new 'triggers'. Especially when attractive girls give likes to my IG stories, etc. The issue is that if I don't plan to have a serious relationship with her and have no plans to marry her, that becomes a problem for me. Also, this has led me sometimes to relapse, as I started to fantasize about them, which led me to MO or full PMO.

Today, after the 3-day streak, I feel it's getting easier. I'm not having cravings today, but I'm having some mild depression and mild anxiety (because I've got those dopamine spikes, but now I don't have them). However, I’m managing these symptoms pretty well for now.

I should clarify that I'm taking supplements (for over a year). These include: Omega-3 (fish oil), Magnesium Threonate with theanine, MVM complete formula (multi-vitamin & mineral), and creatine.

Regarding depression and anxiety, I keep a journal (currently, I'm using a WhatsApp chat for that, nothing fancy) to write every day.
Depression: ---- I write down and thank God for 3 things every day
Anxiety: -------- I write down everything that worries me, create an action plan to deal with it, and pray to God for it.

Some of the main worries I have include:
-Not making enough money
-Work and the future (especially with the rise of AI)
-Not finishing university fast enough
-Getting rejected by a girl (whom I consider to marry)
-Debt (but I'm reducing it 10% per month aprox. I expect to be debt-free in 10 months (credit card debt)

That's all for today. Tomorrow I'll share some cool lessons that I learned yesterday and today (from Huberman et al).

 

[Zeke30]

Day 5 - (4-day streak)


It's getting easier. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Last night I felt sad/blue after the gym, but I took a cold shower, and then I felt better. This wasn't the typical "sadness", I'd describe it as 'low dopamine' maybe. You got the drill. That kind of feeling was a trigger for wanting beer and PMO. Cold showers aren't magical, but they are helping me a lot these days. To be clear, it seems that they only work for the craving for a 'dopamine spike'.

Also, I've had some 'brain fog' these days, but today — Saturday — it's gone; I feel focused. (even though I only slept 6 hours). I was watching Foundation, and Season 3, Episodes 1 and 2 got interesting last night (haha). But I should sleep 8 hours, or maybe 8:30 hours (between the Gym and demanding both work and study, might require a bit above the typical 7-8 hours to recover physically and mentally).

In my next post, I’ll share some lessons I’ve learned—or some things I'm testing out to see if they help

 

[Zeke30]

These lessons may not be directly linked to PMO, but to the symptoms and the problems we have because of it.

Lessons/tips/hacks/protocols:

1) to stop procrastination and get motivated and focus fast----spent 6-10 minutes doing nothing (get bored) Huberman - link https://www.instagram.com/p/DRXJGKYAeK6/

2) It takes 3 days to become a morning person, or just to fix sleep schedule - Huberman - link

Motivy Example | Mindset & Growth on Instagram: "Morning Routine Shift. Andrew Huberman teaches that becoming a morning person is less about willpower and more about syncing your internal rhythm with consistent cues. The body adjusts within three da

23K likes, 48 comments - motivyexample on December 10, 2025: "Morning Routine Shift. Andrew Huberman teaches that becoming a morning person is less about willpower and more about syncing your internal rhythm with consistent cues. The body adjusts within three days if you commit to waking up...

www.instagram.com

15 minutes of sunlight are a must now for me when I wake up

3) To deal with insomnia ---> I read (I'm doing it for several months)

I'm reading with a Kindle (the light is different from that of a cell phone, and also it doesn't have the apps and notifications, etc)
I read science fiction, especially Dune by Frank Herbert (I liked the movies a lot).
It helps me to fall asleep faster.

A 2009 study found that reading reduces stress by 68% https://www.anxietycentre.com/research/reading-reduces-stress-by-68-percent/

That's all for today. I'll be sharing other lessons/hacks on other days.

 

[Zeke30]

Day 6 - (5-day streak)

It's getting easier! But I have to stay on my guard!

Yesterday, I went to church. I hadn't gone for almost a month. I was struggling a bit to decide whether to go or not, but I'm glad I went. There are three key benefits here (only in a good church where they really love God above all):
1) Strengthen my relationship with God
2) Connect with friends and people
3) There are good and beautiful girls (I mean 'marriageable')

Also, yesterday in the small bible-study group, they talked about 'resting', (God rested on the 7th day, the fourth commandment, etc). I had been working 7-days/week at a frantic pace. My argument would be get ahead in my career and make more money. However, taking some time to rest and delving deep into my relationship with God and other people might outpace the 'material success'. It's important to live life to the full (John 10:10). I mention this because PMO addiction may be a symptom of a deeper, underlying issue (such as mild depression, anxiety, or loneliness).

Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day; I might not post here (or I might post a quick note). I'll likely be back on Tuesday.

 

[Zeke30]

Day 7 - (6-day streak)


Busy day today! Just wanted to share a quick update.

I think what I’m dealing with right now is called 'anhedonia'.

 

[Zeke30]

BEST NO-FAP METHOD -----> Journaling!

Found this video (it’s 14 minutes long), but in short, it says the best method for NoFap is journaling. He stopped PMO mainly by journaling, and I totally agree. I think that’s the main hack for me. I know it takes time to do it mindfully, but it’s worth it (I journal in a personal WhatsApp group and here).

Link video:

 

[Zeke30]

Day 8 - (7-day streak) I'm making it!


Today I’m feeling down. I just found out the girl I was planning to ask out is in a relationship.

 

[Zeke30]

Day 9 - (8-day streak)


3 things now:
1) I feel sad. But I'll get through it.
2) Excuse my dark humor, but this sadness unlocked a new trigger. (PMO to cope with sadness). I'll likely handle it well.
3) It is my second time (or maybe the third time, I don't quite remember well) that I've managed to stay away from PMO in 14 years.

 

[Zeke30]

Posting here helps me, and it might help some of you — it's a win-win. I'm thinking I'll post more frequently, maybe more than once a day.

The main issue right now is that I feel like I'm not enjoying life. It’s in those moments that the lie creeps in—telling me that the only way to be happy is through PMO.​

Sorry about the font size, but it has to be highlighted, that's what I actually FEEL right now. But I know that it's to some extent a lie. My brain has been sensitized to PMO for about 14 years.

There are some triggers:
1) girl in leggings (Today I saw an 'ad' — yeah, just a 'clothes ad/advertising')
2) The news about this girl yesterday made me feel sad.

So what's the current plan:
1) Acknowledge that my brain for 14 years has been sensitized to PMO. And I should expect 90 days or so to revisit this 'discussion with myself' about this "lack of happiness issue".'
2) To learn to live without being 'that happy', for 2-3 months. Maybe then I'm going to start to enjoy life more.
3) I'll look out for fun things to do today and this week, to feel a bit better.

However, regarding happiness, I don't believe it's a binary/switch issue; it's more of a scale from 0 to 100.

The good news:
1) I'm healing. I'm starting to deal naturally with things in life, without the dopamine spike of PMO. This might not be so epic/romantic, since it's one day at a time. Also, I know that the next days are going to be between 5/10 and 8/10. I mean, there will not be very happy days, but also, I don't have the cravings of the first 1-3 days.
2) Related to #1, today I felt down a bit because of my income and the fact that I have to improve my finances. It's not easy, but without PMO, I see this financial situation in a more realistic way. But that's good. The first step to improve something is to recognize the weaknesses.

 

[Zeke30]

It's incredible how many "subconscious triggers" draw me to PMO. For example, today, I felt it when I was overwhelmed with work and again when I got frustrated. I mean, there'are so many subconscious processes going on beneath the surface.

2 things:
1) I consider journaling critical here, to acknowledge and deal with all this stuff.
2) The Pavlovian/classical conditioning shows that he not only trained/conditioned the dogs to salivate, but also he trained them to unlearn/eliminate that conditioning.

Just they salivated when the bell rang, in the same way, we, when bored/alone/overwhelmed, or so, we got contitioned to turn to PMO. But the good news is, in the same way, we learned/been conditioned to that, we can unlearn/eliminate that conditioning.

My main point here is that it is not only one or two triggers, but instead a spectrum of dozens of triggers. I believe we might categorize them into boxes such as boredom/loneliness/stress/sadness/anxiety, and so on. But I feel there are many micro-situations that trigger us. That's when journaling gets very helpful.

Right now, I’m spending 30–60 minutes a day journaling (spread out over different moments). It might seem like a lot, but we’re dealing with something deeply ingrained. Plus, that 30–60 minutes is the same amount of time I used to spend on PMO anyway.

It's not easy, but spending time to deal every day with this deep ingrained contitioning is the way to go. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Zeke30]

Day 10 - (9-day streak)

 

[Zeke30]

No cravings today, very interesting. It was easy today, but I'm maintaining zero tolerance — no thinking about sex). However, ’ll keep my guard up to avoid even the slightest chance of a relapse.

 

[Zeke30]

Day 11 - (10-day streak)


It's getting easier. No cravings.

Key hacks I'm sticking to:
-Journaling
-setting goals (to fill the void)
-Excercising
-Cold showers or a little something sweet to create a small dopamine hit (it helps with the "lows")
-keeping a fun, yet productive to-do list
-Dopamine fasting: yesterday I started it. I believe it has to be personalized (not some generic plan out there). In my case, I decided to avoid sugar, music, social media, and "self-improvement stuff" until 8 pm (I usually head to bed at 00 am)

Regarding goals and the "fun-productive to-do list".....last night, I was learning how to:
-improve/optimize my IG profile for dating
-Level up my hairstyle.

Some tips (off-topic somehow, but it can help some to improve their dating):
-Golden hour (dawn and dusk): the best hour to take photos of yourself
-Sea salt (for hair). Yesterday was actually the first time I'd heard of that (it might be a game changer — shampoo makes my hair too poofy)
-know your kind of face (ask Gemini how to measure yourself) and use a hairstyle that suits you (in my case, I have a triangular/pear face, so the 'undercut style' is not my best option, but instead I liked it more when I had a "messy fringe".
-The bio in IG, it might be a couple of words, but I think we should put some effort into it (putting something intelligent/fun/hooking)
-Optimize/curate the publications in IG
-Level up the wardrobe/clothes (I was thinking that after losing 18kg/40 pounds, some shirts and pants are a bit baggy/big for me, so I was planning to change 2-3 clothing items per month (which is 20-30 items in 10 months). Slowly but surely. It can be done by buying or asking a tailor/Seamstress to make them fit. Also, improving the quality of clothes we wear. We should prioritise having a nice overall core wardrobe.

Gym:
-I did 6 neutral-grip pull-ups (I usually do only 3 pronated/overhand grip). Obviously, grip is key, and when it comes to training the back, I consider using several kinds of grips
-I push 70kg/155 pounds in the inclined press (3 reps). I'm getting ahead on that (it was several months that I was training only with 55kg-65kg.

My main point here is:
I'm not just focusing on avoiding PMO; instead I'm focusing on building and improving other areas of my life. This "productive busyness" helps me a lot. It's like they say: if I tell you don't think of a white elephant, you're bound to fail. But if you focus on something else—like cars, buildings, or plants that's how you succeed in moving past the thought.

 

[Zeke30]

I’ve got a lot of brain fog today, so it’s been really hard to stay focused. (I work freelance btw) The good news is I'm avoiding any kind of stimulation that could lead me to PMO. I'm feeling optimistic about this streak. Last time, in November, I hit 11 days. Today I'm about to hit that level again, but the difference is that now I learned some stuff. Now I'm working through some different subconscious stuff (I mentioned it 4 posts ago). Also...

There were two things that caused me to relapse in November:
1) Humping/grinding/rubbing my dick against the cushion. I was thinking this is not 'outright masturbation' with my hand, it's just "grinding it a bit". Well, that "'bit" made me relapse
2) While doing that, I was fantasizing about a girl that I consider pretty and marriage material.

I mean, my problem wasn't entering a 'hardcorestuff.com site', but a little bit of fantasizing about a marriageable girl, and grinding a bit, you got the drill. As they say, the devil is in the details. I learnt my lesson. I'm not going to allow little/trifling things that could make me slide even a millimeter.

Looking back at my November relapse, both things were so subtle, and that’s exactly where the danger lies. That’s why I’m sticking to a zero-tolerance mindset from now on.​

Now I remember that in November I felt the exact same way as now:
-Brain fog (poor concentration)
-Lack of happiness (craving for dopamine)
-Increased urge to listen to music (I'm allowing this, because it helps me to cope with this)

Regarding the dopamine fasting, I'm a bit flexible regarding music and sugar. While I'm trying to moderate it, I'm using it for coping with these "'withdrawal symptoms'" — brain fog, lack of happiness (craving for dopamine), and some mild anxiety and mild depression.

I have the hunch that this time is different and freedom is ahead . This is not an epic story like the movies with, you know, cinematic music, explosions, great discurses and epic quotes. Fighting against PMO is like a boring, stupid, and awkward fight. There's no glory in it. But that's fine. Anyways, I'm not buying into my sensitized brain's lies.

 

[Zeke30]

Day 12 - (11-day streak)

 

[Zeke30]

Today marks the start of the Carnival long weekend (4-day long). Monday and Tuesday are holidays here. This puts me at a higher risk: more free time often leads to more boredom. And for me, boredom is a major trigger.

Here is the chain of events:
Free time ---> Boredom ----> triggers ---> PMO

This is the plan: I’m going to tackle my free time by doing fun things and keeping an intentionally packed schedule for the next 4 days.
I can't afford to attack PMO or even triggers.

I have a tiered goals list for this long weekend, sorted by productivity and fun/enjoyable

1) Stretch goal: get ahead on work and university (most productive)
2) Target goal: doing some less productive but fun (such as improving in my dating "profile", learning some stuff, etc)
3) Floor/baseline goal: doing something fun (a movie series, or I might install a video game). I’d prefer not to resort to this, but I can't afford to be bored; the risk of relapse is too high.

I'm aiming for the stretch goal, but brain fog is getting in the way. I think I'll end up with a mix of the stretch goal and the target goals.