Here I am

Here I am,all my friends. Trying to tell all about myself in this message, seems to be not easy. I will try trying.
Step 1 done,I also installed an app on my phone,it is called Imquit. Let's see.
 
It's very hard  today. I'm  at work,  and I know  that I  have
  to stay  here till  this evening  without watching,  masturbation or whatever.  it's not the first  time I'm trying  to quit. but  this time it will be different.  In  fact, starting from January,  I'll be unemployed.  I'll have lot  of time at home  alone,  and this will be very risky. This is the reason I  decided.  let's see.
 
A little mistake, I spent 20 minutes on YouTube at office, and I started masturbation. them  I stopped.  now I'm going home,I hope you all will have a good weekend
 
This is a screenahot of the counter installed on my phone. The bars indicate the time between PM. I'm far to rebooting, but I think writing here is a good start.
 

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red0

Member
HI, sorry to hear about your work troubles. Yes this forum is big help. It  lets you know that you are not the only one with problems like that and it provides oportunity to focus on something else than porn. When i have urges to watch porn, ill come here, read some threads and that helps me to push those thoughts away (for a while at least).

So dont give up man, more of us is trying to beat that porn bastard, we can do it  8)
 
Let start this morning whith a tough. I woke up ten minutes ago, and the  second thing I  did was looking to my Facebook.  Unfortunately,  a friend of mine, posted a photo where she is almost nude.  fortunately, she's ugly,  fat, and I really  don't like here.  then I started looking around for other friend's photos,  then I stopped and I came here. my girlfriend is sleeping in the other room,  I can hear her breathing, I'm sitting on the sofa,  and I'm understanding that it is a long way.
here's my personal counter. not bad, as always, during the weekend.
 

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Yesterday I had a release. it's easy to know why, but I'm not happy with that.  I had an  intercourse in the afternoon with my girlfriend, and all was going  fine. I'm concerned about having a child, she wants to, I don't, so it's a particular situation.  We don't talked about that, after we had a rest in the bed watching a film at the TV. At 5 in the afternoon, I bring her to her family,  then I went back home because I had to do some work.
I  started with my duty, I had to write a little review of my work for the company.  I opened  my document, I wrote for ten minutes, then I started Facebook.  After Facebook, YouTube. The history of YouTube is full of porn related stuff.  There were two parts of me. The first wants to go to the orgasm, because no one will discover me. I started watching more porn related videos.  With the mouse in a hand and masturbating with the other, I waited for the right video to use.  It is becoming more and more difficult finding the right one. It was so difficult so I decided to stop.  I erased the history, and I took a glass of red wine.  I stayed about 20 minutes on porn, I  don't think it will be the last time.
I want, in the for coming posts, to start from the very principle of my addiction, and tell about me and my family.
 
today was a disaster. I watched porn in office and I masturbated without orgasm.,and I feel very depressed.  I'm sending cv to seek a new job, while my gf is asking me to go to holiday next weekend.  I am pessimistic about me so I think it's a very bad idea to spend part of the money going on holiday.  I'm thinking is a good idea for me to take my money and going abroad seeking for a job,  with or without her.  She started crying, and she asked me how she can help. then I  told her that all will be fine in the next week.  I'm going to renew my passport next week.
 
It will be a very long journey.  it's true that I'm not p m o from 12 days, but it's also true that I'm spending lots of time at office looking for softcore material on Internet.  In facts, all explicit content are filtered, so I moved to softcore.  Two years ago I was living in a small shelter near the highway were I was working and I was masturbating two times per day,  cause of high speed Internet connection.  now I've only 2 gb monthly, in my phone, but I went sometimes over quota, spending lot of money. fortunately, I will work there only for the next three or four days, then I have some holidays,  then I've to found a new job.  I'm not worried about that, it will be no easy and it will be necessary to move from my country, maybe to middle east where building industry is more active and where I've also some friends working there.  I'm sure that if I stop with porn I'll make the right decision. since I remember, all my decisions were porn driven. I p m o since I was twelve, watching late night TV shows with strip tease.  I didn't move a lot from there.
 
This morning was a disaster.  I pm without o for one hour.  then I started to see the six episodes video on ybop. The situation of loosing my job is not so easy to deal with.  However,  after lunch, I was home alone and I decided to give up and I signed in on one of my favourite porn forum.  then I eard the keys on the door and my gf was coming in. She decided to leave work early because she knows I feel depressed about work.  I erased the browser history and I kissed her.  I had bad feelings with her and the erection disappeared. She asked me if something was wrong, I told her that I was tired because I'm cold.  I know that I lied.  yesterday I started also with the one month book, but I forgot to save the document.  I'm happy because I know that the point isn't the astinence for one or more months, the goal is to reboot.
 
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