lte, I agree that the second group will be more successful. Do you think there might be an effective way to help move more of the ED obsessers from column A into the life rebooters of column B? There seems to be a lot of focusing on a problem rather than creating a solution. Perhaps there is a gap in information here that neglects the individual's necessity for evaluating the escapist and obsessive tendencies of the addict. Whereby we just continue to replace one addiction/obsession for another. (i.e Sex/Objectification,Using women to rewire, blaming the world for our problems, whining for sympathy, resisting acceptance, etc).
Granted, there are a good number of men in the forum who are single. They might simply need the tools to get themselves into the dating pool. There are plenty of handy facts and figures to show them how to overcome that issue. There are people out there who will use that knowledge for malicious intent and seek only to become pick up artists. Knowledge is power, you can't refute that. Ultimately, they will find emptiness at the end of that road as well and find themselves right back where they started. I pray for those poor souls. I feel that we can teach our young women to spot these sorts of men. We can also teach them that a relationship is not the pinnacle of existence as the media brainwashes us into believing.
Young women are put through the ringer of our society and rarely come out the other side whole. Numbers on sexual assault and rape are astronomical. My wife can be counted among those statistics. It has affected her in ways that I cannot begin to fathom. Also, her father was not around during her childhood because he was a philanderer of epic proportions. She is my family though, I love her. I still don't feel that I grasp all the pain I caused her with my addiction. And I know that I would benefit greatly from some information that addresses issues such as the effects of sexual assault on the human brain or codependency in relation to sexual addictions. Or how to broach discussions with the opposite sex that uncover unhealthy expectations for their SO.
I know when I first started my reboot I made the mistake of rebooting for my sex life alone. It took failing several times to recognize that I allowed many areas of my life to deteriorate. My career didn't fulfill me, I had no self-confidence, my marriage fell apart, one by one my friendships disappeared, life had become a grind. It takes many positive relationships to support one person and I put far too many expectations on my relationship with my SO. I expected her to be my everything. The thing they forget to tell you is that no one can be your everything. People can bring light to your life, yes, but it takes a village to help us each find our path.
Some people are finding that village for the first time here. I choose not to believe in lost causes. Each individual has a unique story and by classifying them within the hopeless column A we make them another number that isn't deserving of our compassion. If most are like me, they didn't understand that the choices they were making were chipping away at their foundations. I had come to accept that I was simply born lacking. Maybe by expanding the information that RBN provides we may be able to help these people help themselves. They know they need help but the unique circumstance of each person that comes here to find help may prevent immediate success. By providing links to other resources that address physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual traumas we may be able to enlighten people to their story and help them to begin writing new chapters that are filled with contentment.