Taking responsibility for my life

mionemico

New Member
Hello everybody my name is Greg, I have to admit it was a blessing to having found this page and this forum, though I thought I was to live with this problem for the rest of my life.

To make a long story quick : 36 years, educated, running a couple of times a week,  working out and having watched porn for a long time (started at 12 -VHS and after getting a stable internet connection  at least since 2001) Sometimes it was compulsory several times a day, sometimes not, sometimes watching movies for 8 hours at night and waking up at 12. I live alone. First erection problem occurred in 2005 or so and started getting serious with new partners. Currently in my current relationship sex is dead ? tried a few Times with poor results, we quarreled over this, I am frustrated  and will do literally everything to get my normal sexual life back
7 days sober now, will never get to porn again I know that. I know now that I ll have to wait maybe a long time till things will get back to normal.

Here is a question to you guys ? how does your sex life look after rebooting, is it normal? I also am having doubts if my current partner really turns me on sexually (have to admit that sex with previous gf's was much more exciting and there are also  hygienic issues ? she does not trim or shave which disgusts me  - did you guys come across also such problems or is it me  and after  i did my time I will be able to hump literally everything that did not escape climbing on a tree after counting to tree? ;)) (ok it was a joke maybe but I am counting for some honest answers??.
 
Quite Every time I have sex with my girlfriend ,I'm thinking about past experiences.  This hurts me, because I really love her, we're going very well together.  when I started my relationship with her, I stopped masturbation for about a month,  and I really wanted to have a family and children with her. maybe I was rebooted that time, and the sex was really very good.  now I'm experiencing some ED, and I told her that it's caused by stress.  I told also to my previous gf that I'm porn addicted, and this wasn't a good idea.  I spent money and time with a psychologist,  with no results. The main result was to split up. I was thinking about having porn problem when I split, I was right and I came back to her.  This is the worst thing I did.
 
Hey Greg, welcome to the forum bro.  I'm 34, been PMOing for close to 20 years, and I recently ended a relationship under circumstances similar to yours.  We were together 5 years, lived together, and I PMOed pretty much the whole time we were together with breaks of a week at the most here and there when things were super solid between us (which wasn't often lol).  At the end of the relationship I had completely lost interest in her in favor of porn.  She was equally as attractive as the day I met her, sexually willing, dying to be close to her man, but I wasn't feeling it.  We went months without touching each other.  When we did, my mind was on images of the hot women I'd seen online.  As far as I was concerned there was no room for my lady in my sexual life because all the free space was already occupied by porn.  Looking back my assessment of the situation is that PMO had so skewed my neurotransmitter profile that I did not appreciate what I had.  There was nothing wrong with my partner, even though I could find some minor flaw to fixate on and blame for my porn-induced disinterest, and the issue was entirely self created.  I didn't run to porn because I had lost interest in my partner.  It was the other way around.  I lost interest in my partner because I was whacking it like a fiend.  Anyway, that's my story.  Perhaps some part of it will resonate with you.  Best of luck on your recovery bro.
 

mionemico

New Member
Thank you very much guys for you input and I am very sorry for the delayed response.
Its a month and a week being porn-sober now, although I am very afraid of the expected rebooting time I have read about here (since my porn experience lasts 24 years now It may last longer then I hope) I have started experiencing positive signs - first of all morning glory - every day which did not occurred before, I am still catching myself sometimes wanting to go to a porn site but staying away from it became a natural habit which somehow protects me from it (beside website blocking software just in case ;)) I want to have sex, I am longing for sex which is also a good sign while in my relationship I did not want it (maybe just I did not want it with her).

But the most important sign i was waiting for is that the images of sex i know from porn movies start to be very blurry in my memory as well as faces of porn actress, when I think about sex it is with girls from reality, girls I date or intend to date. I am though secretive about my problems hoping they will not arise again due to my efforts. Sometimes they still occur but very occasionally. I do hope that in the second month they will completely fade away and this is as I hope the most important rebooting effect to me.

I also stopped lashing myself over my last relationship, I think it wasn't entirely my fault that the sex was poor.

Here is a question to you guys:


Do you expect to be able to have sex with ANY woman or is it normal to you that there are some aesthetic limits when it comes to you getting hard? I ask because my last gf did not shave herself down under which was very disgusting to me and put me off sex all time along, while discussing this topic she said she does not feel the need to because her last bf didn't mind her hairs below. I do not believe that even a year of rebooting time could make me accept something I strongly reject from an aesthetic point of view or should I?
 
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