Viper
Well-Known Member
There is only one thing I can think of when I join a community like this:
"I'm glad I'm not alone"
Let me just say that it takes a lot of courage for a guy like Gabe and few others to go on YouTube
and pretty much let it all out there about this phantom problem.
I call it phantom because there are a lot of guys out there that don't know that their erectile dysfunction
probably comes from excessive PMO. When you get into your 40's, the first thought that comes to mind
is that it has to be your age. I agree that you lose some of your beast mode as you age but to flat line
completely is just not logical.
My journey into this descent started when I bought my laptop. Now this of course wasn't the first time
I watched porn. I've been doing that since the 80's. But it was the rapid, browsing from one pornographic
scene to another that you get from high speed internet that can warp your mind.
So I grew up primarily in the 80's and back then, your porn fix came from magazines or VHS. I was to
young to get porn on my own but every once in a while, I would get some of my uncle's stash. It was
when my family got cable tv is when I started jerking regularly. I think my parents knew what I was doing
staying up late watching Cinemax. But I didn't jerk while watching. I never really had to do that. I actually
orgasm for the first time by someone else other than myself. I thought this girl in middle school was going
give it up to me. She let me feel her up but wouldn't let me go all the way so I had to settle for a hand job.
Of course I eventually nutted but that's when I realized that I can do that for myself. Cable tv B movies
is what I remember most. But again, I didn't watch and jerk. I would jerk afterwords in the bathroom or
when I was in my bedroom. Those were the only two places I had privacy. But it really didn't even have
to be porn. If I was kinda horny, all I had to do was just think of a girl I'd like to fuck, fantasize about her,
then jizz.
Became sexually active more so in high school. But of course, still went to the porn from time to time.
Not as much if I was active with a girl. So then if we fast forward past college and in my late 20's.
I was dating this dime piece. She had to be the first girl I dated that when I did jerk off, I was fantasizing
about her. Here it is, I was getting some from this very desirable girl but still felt the need to jerk.
My sex drive was high and I took great pride in that. In my mid 30's, started dating this other gorgeous
girl. There is this misconception that if you're with a bad (as in real good) bitch, then there's no need
to desire another girl or fantasize about porn chics. Yeah, that's what I thought but the truth is, you
get over that after like a month spending so much time with a girl no matter how pretty or desirable she
is. You tend to notice other things that may not be so desirable and you start filling those voids elsewhere.
This is why it doesn't shock me at all that all of Halle Barry's ex husbands cheated on her constantly.
I didn't cheat but don't think I wasn't checking out other girls or jerking.
Now we're going to get to the part of when I got my laptop. I've always had a tower computer when I watched
porn but I wouldn't sit on the chair and jerk while watching porn. Again, I can just think about what it would
be like fucking that same girl in the scene and that worked just fine. Didn't need any external stimulant while
I go to town. Having the laptop though allowed me to multi-task more so since I can carry it anywhere.
So if it's right by my bed, I can lay there as opposed to sitting on a chair at a desk and browse through so
many porn scenes instantly. Unlike playing a DVD or VHS tape, going from scene to scene was much faster.
With a DVD and VHS, it takes time to change the film. With high speed internet, you can switch to a totally
different porn production in seconds.
I recall having one chic I used to watch. To me, she had the body that was carefully molded by Mother Nature.
Thing is, she only had one scene that I could find online with a guy. The rest, she's playing with herself by herself
being filmed. But even if I thought she was a 10, it didn't take long for me to move on to other types of girls.
Every once in a while, if other girls wasn't getting the job done, I would revert back to the number one chic.
I think every guy here has that go-to girl if they're not jizzing to others- lol
But seriously, this is where the dysfunction is taking shape. You're instantly feeding your mind and satisfying
your reward circuit. It was originally wired for a real woman. But when you know that you can get this easily
and rapidly through the porn source, then your mind will slowly begin to reject the moments when you are
with a real woman. You don't realize it because you believe that something like this could never happen to you.
After all, you've done your share of dating and have also been fairly confident about your sexual performance for years.
The times when I didn't have a steady girlfriend, I would usually recruit at the nightclubs. I would hit some
spots with friends but of course, my main motivation was to seek attention from the opposite sex. I wasn't like
a pimp or anything like that but accepting rejection wasn't a big deal because I knew if I didn't go home with anyone
or at the very least, make out with someone or get their phone number, that was ok because I could always go home
and rub one out.
And when you go back to the internet, you may want to look at a different girl. One day it may be white girl with big tits. The next day, it may be Asian girl happy ending. The next time, it could be African girl fucking in a hut. Before you know it, you will be browsing for girls who aren't even your type. When the girls who were my type weren't getting the job done, I started
browsing fat chics and even midgets. Don't get me wrong, some of them really knew how to perform but I would not desire
them if I saw them out in public. But that's when you know you have a porn problem. And it all came ahead with my current
girlfriend. Our first sexual experience together was her giving me head. That went pretty good but I noticed I wasn't rock hard like I used to be. Just semi hard. When it came to vaginal penetration, I still noticed not being all the way hard.
It got worse to the point where I couldn't spare any time putting a condom on. If I did that, then my dick would go limp again. You realize how embarrassing that is?
So of course, I freaked out and my confidence started to crumble. We didn't have sex for weeks. She finally brought it up to me and I didn't know what to say. I pretty much thought it was because I was in my 40's and I was going through changes.
I sought medical help and both my general doctor and urologist both dismissed porn as a problem. My testosterone was fine. In fact, the urologist gave me medication to boost my testosterone and that didn't do anything. My general doctor gave me viagra and although it did get hard most of the time, it did not feel natural. And viagra is expensive. I didn't think it was worth the money if it didn't help me all the time. The doctor said that your natural sex drive will come back after regular
use. It didn't.
So I did more research and I came across some videos on youTube about what high speed internet porn can do to you if
you abuse it. I would not have jerked as much as I did if I knew this could happen. This problem we're suffering is not like alcohol or drugs. In school, they force feed you about the dangers of those things so if you still became a crackhead or alcoholic, that's on you!
But porn induced erectile dysfunction is very new and unfortunately, most doctors don't know about it or dismiss the idea
that this is what's causing the problem. And just so you know, I never put porn on any mobile device. Never had any on my cell phones or mobile gaming platforms like PSP. Another thing I didn't like doing was going to strip clubs. I would go if I was invited to like a bachelor party or such but I really don't feel the need to give a chic money for her to show me her tits when
there are a lot of willing and able girls at a regular nightclub that will gladly back their ass into my crotch for free!
So no, I wasn't the typical 2k generation porn addict. I didn't do this every day. Well, I did when I wasn't at my girlfriend's house. But didn't have it with me everywhere I went. So now I've been rebooting for a month so far. I think I've made progress and if I am diligent, I can make more. I have noticed semi hard-ons lately and occasional morning wood. Because
that went away too. I am confident that I will be back to normal but the important thing for me to remember is that as more of us coming out about this problem, just maybe the medical field will catch up and we can all learn from each other.
"I'm glad I'm not alone"
Let me just say that it takes a lot of courage for a guy like Gabe and few others to go on YouTube
and pretty much let it all out there about this phantom problem.
I call it phantom because there are a lot of guys out there that don't know that their erectile dysfunction
probably comes from excessive PMO. When you get into your 40's, the first thought that comes to mind
is that it has to be your age. I agree that you lose some of your beast mode as you age but to flat line
completely is just not logical.
My journey into this descent started when I bought my laptop. Now this of course wasn't the first time
I watched porn. I've been doing that since the 80's. But it was the rapid, browsing from one pornographic
scene to another that you get from high speed internet that can warp your mind.
So I grew up primarily in the 80's and back then, your porn fix came from magazines or VHS. I was to
young to get porn on my own but every once in a while, I would get some of my uncle's stash. It was
when my family got cable tv is when I started jerking regularly. I think my parents knew what I was doing
staying up late watching Cinemax. But I didn't jerk while watching. I never really had to do that. I actually
orgasm for the first time by someone else other than myself. I thought this girl in middle school was going
give it up to me. She let me feel her up but wouldn't let me go all the way so I had to settle for a hand job.
Of course I eventually nutted but that's when I realized that I can do that for myself. Cable tv B movies
is what I remember most. But again, I didn't watch and jerk. I would jerk afterwords in the bathroom or
when I was in my bedroom. Those were the only two places I had privacy. But it really didn't even have
to be porn. If I was kinda horny, all I had to do was just think of a girl I'd like to fuck, fantasize about her,
then jizz.
Became sexually active more so in high school. But of course, still went to the porn from time to time.
Not as much if I was active with a girl. So then if we fast forward past college and in my late 20's.
I was dating this dime piece. She had to be the first girl I dated that when I did jerk off, I was fantasizing
about her. Here it is, I was getting some from this very desirable girl but still felt the need to jerk.
My sex drive was high and I took great pride in that. In my mid 30's, started dating this other gorgeous
girl. There is this misconception that if you're with a bad (as in real good) bitch, then there's no need
to desire another girl or fantasize about porn chics. Yeah, that's what I thought but the truth is, you
get over that after like a month spending so much time with a girl no matter how pretty or desirable she
is. You tend to notice other things that may not be so desirable and you start filling those voids elsewhere.
This is why it doesn't shock me at all that all of Halle Barry's ex husbands cheated on her constantly.
I didn't cheat but don't think I wasn't checking out other girls or jerking.
Now we're going to get to the part of when I got my laptop. I've always had a tower computer when I watched
porn but I wouldn't sit on the chair and jerk while watching porn. Again, I can just think about what it would
be like fucking that same girl in the scene and that worked just fine. Didn't need any external stimulant while
I go to town. Having the laptop though allowed me to multi-task more so since I can carry it anywhere.
So if it's right by my bed, I can lay there as opposed to sitting on a chair at a desk and browse through so
many porn scenes instantly. Unlike playing a DVD or VHS tape, going from scene to scene was much faster.
With a DVD and VHS, it takes time to change the film. With high speed internet, you can switch to a totally
different porn production in seconds.
I recall having one chic I used to watch. To me, she had the body that was carefully molded by Mother Nature.
Thing is, she only had one scene that I could find online with a guy. The rest, she's playing with herself by herself
being filmed. But even if I thought she was a 10, it didn't take long for me to move on to other types of girls.
Every once in a while, if other girls wasn't getting the job done, I would revert back to the number one chic.
I think every guy here has that go-to girl if they're not jizzing to others- lol
But seriously, this is where the dysfunction is taking shape. You're instantly feeding your mind and satisfying
your reward circuit. It was originally wired for a real woman. But when you know that you can get this easily
and rapidly through the porn source, then your mind will slowly begin to reject the moments when you are
with a real woman. You don't realize it because you believe that something like this could never happen to you.
After all, you've done your share of dating and have also been fairly confident about your sexual performance for years.
The times when I didn't have a steady girlfriend, I would usually recruit at the nightclubs. I would hit some
spots with friends but of course, my main motivation was to seek attention from the opposite sex. I wasn't like
a pimp or anything like that but accepting rejection wasn't a big deal because I knew if I didn't go home with anyone
or at the very least, make out with someone or get their phone number, that was ok because I could always go home
and rub one out.
And when you go back to the internet, you may want to look at a different girl. One day it may be white girl with big tits. The next day, it may be Asian girl happy ending. The next time, it could be African girl fucking in a hut. Before you know it, you will be browsing for girls who aren't even your type. When the girls who were my type weren't getting the job done, I started
browsing fat chics and even midgets. Don't get me wrong, some of them really knew how to perform but I would not desire
them if I saw them out in public. But that's when you know you have a porn problem. And it all came ahead with my current
girlfriend. Our first sexual experience together was her giving me head. That went pretty good but I noticed I wasn't rock hard like I used to be. Just semi hard. When it came to vaginal penetration, I still noticed not being all the way hard.
It got worse to the point where I couldn't spare any time putting a condom on. If I did that, then my dick would go limp again. You realize how embarrassing that is?
So of course, I freaked out and my confidence started to crumble. We didn't have sex for weeks. She finally brought it up to me and I didn't know what to say. I pretty much thought it was because I was in my 40's and I was going through changes.
I sought medical help and both my general doctor and urologist both dismissed porn as a problem. My testosterone was fine. In fact, the urologist gave me medication to boost my testosterone and that didn't do anything. My general doctor gave me viagra and although it did get hard most of the time, it did not feel natural. And viagra is expensive. I didn't think it was worth the money if it didn't help me all the time. The doctor said that your natural sex drive will come back after regular
use. It didn't.
So I did more research and I came across some videos on youTube about what high speed internet porn can do to you if
you abuse it. I would not have jerked as much as I did if I knew this could happen. This problem we're suffering is not like alcohol or drugs. In school, they force feed you about the dangers of those things so if you still became a crackhead or alcoholic, that's on you!
But porn induced erectile dysfunction is very new and unfortunately, most doctors don't know about it or dismiss the idea
that this is what's causing the problem. And just so you know, I never put porn on any mobile device. Never had any on my cell phones or mobile gaming platforms like PSP. Another thing I didn't like doing was going to strip clubs. I would go if I was invited to like a bachelor party or such but I really don't feel the need to give a chic money for her to show me her tits when
there are a lot of willing and able girls at a regular nightclub that will gladly back their ass into my crotch for free!
So no, I wasn't the typical 2k generation porn addict. I didn't do this every day. Well, I did when I wasn't at my girlfriend's house. But didn't have it with me everywhere I went. So now I've been rebooting for a month so far. I think I've made progress and if I am diligent, I can make more. I have noticed semi hard-ons lately and occasional morning wood. Because
that went away too. I am confident that I will be back to normal but the important thing for me to remember is that as more of us coming out about this problem, just maybe the medical field will catch up and we can all learn from each other.