My Journal

Day 12

Hi everyone, I just joined this forum. Need to talk and have no one to talk to. So here I am.

Im 28 years old and recently discovered a lot about me in therapy. I was possibly sexually abused as a child (disturbing memories come and go) and my sexuality has been fucked up since then. I've had an awesome life, a terrible life and everything in between. Porn and masturbation have always fucked things up one way or another. I'm done.

I've been trying to quit since I found out I was suffering from this. Since april this year. I have had some 20-25 day streaks but in that third week I have always fallen off the wagon. Right now I'm on day 12, so depressed I can hardly type this. I hope this passes soon.
I have very low energy right now. I guess I'm going through a flatline.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." 

Fuck porn


Active Member
Hey man, sorry to hear about the troubled past. You made the right decision by kicking porn out of your life. I have felt crushing depression the last few months while I was busy PMO-ing away. What really drew me to NoFap was the chance that I could be a different person from what I am now. I was so miserable that when NoFap presented a chance to lift me out of the darkness, I knew it was the only way. Good luck! We're all here to help each other. :)

Om Khurana

plz do yoga and meditation ...if you not able to do yoga wakeup early morning at 5am and just walk
. the porn disturbed my life , it distructed my carrier . But i'm defeated it man, beleive u can do it.
i am like you before some weeks butt now am P free


Active Member
Hey, i think i can understand you. I have studied a lot about childhood trauma, there are a lot of book there. What our minds do when we have bad time as children is repress the memory. By studying about the childhood, we bring those memories back, what is hard. But it free us. I can recommend you Alexander Lowen books. The knowledge, wisdom and the therapeutic method helped me a lot in my rebooting. And it still helps me. And maybe it will help you to. Keep going and know that the depression you experience now is just the result of dealing with your past. You can overcome it and have happy life.