The time has come

[Rewire4life]

This post will be a short one - I would just like to introduce myself to the group and thank you all for making this community available to help others. I have been addicted to porn for over 18 years and finally have made the decision to give it up for good.

For the past several years I've noticed that I've been asking myself more and more "why am I doing this?" -- even In the midst of PMO.

Something clicked this past Saturday. I stumbled across this forum and several similar websites and began reading. Frankly, what I read has scared the shit out of me. I want help to retire my brain away from porn. I know I can do it, I know it won't be easy, and I am hoping that the support of this forum will help me start down this road. Tomorrow morning will mark 24 hours without porn. It's a start...

 

[elliottjl2003]

Rewire, hang in there buddy. I like you am sick and tired of porn not only running but ruining my life as well. What helped me was educating myself with as much knowledge as I could find and treating it as a disease. I will tell you this, although the physical side is rough right now, my mental side is already improving. I have more energy, focus, positive outlook, stuff like that. My relationship has improved and I am a lot more involved and into her now. So hang in there and one day at a time!

 

[Rewire4life]

Thank you for the supportelliotjl2003. I'm trying to do the same as you; learn as much about this disease as possible. I've always responded better to "thinking" than "feeling" and logically working out how the brain responds to porn, and understanding some of the science behind it aids my desire to want to quit.

I tired to quit once in the past, but I wasn't really committed to it. I don't think I saw it as much of a problem (other than the ED it was causing me). But Cialis took care of that and I never really missed a beat. I guess I didn't want to quit.

Now I do want to quit. I've seen lots of stories of guys who have it much tougher than me, and if figure if they can do it I can do it. Thankfully I have a loving wife at home who I can have sex with whenever I want, so I'm hoping that will help with some of the urges. Whenever I get an urge to use porn, I'm going to go find my wife instead!  I know it will be hard...porn killed my libido to the point where if I was sleeping with my wife once a week it was a lot (I was probably PMOing 5-7 times during an average week. Sometimes more, including multiple times a day. It was at the point where the first thing I did when I woke up was PMO (my wife leaves for work before me). After a few months of that I had to just stop and admit to myself that I had a problem.

I'm going to have to make an effort to get to know my wife again in this way.  I can see how my brain is wired to finding porn and jacking off as my sexual outlet. It has happened at the expense of my sex life and at the expense of the sexual relationship with my wife. It's not fair to either of us and I'm done with it.

I've made a bit of progress so far, I decided to stop about a week ago. And while I've slipped Up a Few times the volume of viewing and getting off to porn is WAY down. Maybe 3 times in 10 days, so that's about 70% off my average. I can already see the cravings starting to decrease. When porn enters my mind I try to actively think about it being bad and a waste of time. I try to envision all of the poor girls, that for whatever reason, get sucked into the business. I try to envision what their family life must have been like to drive them to such a career. I think about the drug problems that many of them have, and how they probably desperately want to leave the business. I try to remember that that girl was once someone with bigger hopes and dreams. When I go down that train of thought, I really don't want to look at porn anymore.

I know there will be relapses. I will try with all my might but, we are only human. I know with God's help and the support of this group I can get through it. We can get through it together. 

To a more fulfilling life for us all! I look forward to keeping the dialogue with you guys. Thank you for caring

 

[Rewire4life]

One day in the books. I woke up this morning without the urge to PMO, which is a big deal for me since it used to be the only way I got out of bed most days. Now it's time to go face the day. I can't believe how much of my mornings I've been wasting with this both damaging and useless activity.

 

[uolihp]

Good Luck to you!
Try to see the positive long term effects, your wife will be glad at some point that you show more interest in her.
A short advise, try to take your time with your wife and have sex in a more "elaborate" way that you used to see in porn, caresses and hugs are more important than sex in itself to rewire with yourself and with her.

 

[Rewire4life]

Thank you for the encouragement and the advice. Taking time is a good idea, but at the same time I am worried about the libido crash that many people mention in weeks 2-6. How have some of you dealt with that?

Can non-fantasy sex with the wife be a good way to manage through that time (doing it even if I don't necessarily want to at the moment)? Or should I just avoid anything sexual until the urge to be with my wife returns on its own?