I relapsed twice on 9/1 and 9/9. It was all connected to moving towards real sex partners again, I'm on a slippery slope then. But my goal is still to have much sex with normal people again to rewire. I'll see how it goes. So my mantra is PPP: Move away from Porn and Pixels towards real People. Keep on truckin' guys!
Relapsed again on 9/22. I guess it was all too much. Anonymous sex in a gay sauna isn't the path to freedom if you want to recover from sex addiction. Duh! Living out porn fantasies without human connection is virtually (no pun intended) the same as pixel porn on the computer. I have to admit that I have a hard time letting go of the possibility to have sex with real men in a gay sauna. But it's a slippery slope from there. I'll see how it goes because at the moment I cannot say that I won't go back there.
Step 1: My pattern is to stay abstinent from porn for several months. Step 2: After a while I long for human contact and real sex. Step 3: I can't wait to have it and go to dating sites and places where I can meet men for sex. Step 4: These places are highly sexualised, well, duh again. Step 5: I still can't wait for the blossoming of a caring relationship and relapse in the end.
To be honest, the encounter I had before the anonymous one left me feeling satisfied (see post). So there is a chance to have good sex in a highly sexualised place. I just don't know if I can afford to go there. I'll keep you updated. Be well, guys!
Sorry to read that you're suffering, Patrick. I feel for you. Must be incredibly difficult to use hook-up sites to make a physical connection, without then going onto P sites. I couldn't cope with that. Had to try to kill the two at the same time, but then how do you cope with the unsatisfied need for sex? Is there a way to find the physical connection without using the Internet? I must sound like I just dropped in from the stone age .
Hope things stabilise for you soon.
Hey guys, relapse after 2 months. First became obsessed with gateway porn (training videos of young men), a few days later PMO for a few hours. I so so so had hoped to stay clean this time.
Funny thing: It's a trick of the mind to believe that this time it won't hurt. And boy does it hurt. I feel like shit today. On a positive note: Thank you for showing me once again what a waste of time PMO is.
I've been clean for 9 months before, so I'm sure I can make it indefinitely. When will I learn that there is NO excuse to PMO ever? Wish me luck, guys, I pray for you. Peace and love