Patrick's Journal: A gay guy's imperfect reboot

chiefmitch88

Active Member
Patrick! Big congratulations on hitting one month! Keep it going, continue to be loving but firm with yourself, continue to rise above the internal noise during your tough days.
Warmth and Love Brother! P is cold and self-serving.
 

marsturm

Active Member
I am 2 months porn free today! I don't know how I did it but I guess I've just had enough. Sometimes I felt like dying and suicidal which I haven't felt for ages. I told myself that it's just my brain rewiring and that it's a normal outcome of abstaining from porn. Today I feel better. I also struggled with fantasies and a wet dream. Haven't MO'd for 2 months now. I would love to have sex again, but only with a loving committed partner. I still seem to be in a partial flatline. I'm patient and won't force anything.

Wishing you guys all the best on your journey to freedom from this shitty addiction! Peace.

 

marsturm

Active Member
3 months porn free today! No masturbation, either. I've been here before and I need to stay vigilant. Overall I'm doing fine and I'm happy. MW hasn't consistently come back but when it does it's reliable and strong. Had another wet dream a while ago. I hear that's not a setback. I have no rewiring partner in sight and that's OK. I don't want to force anything, especially NOT through dating sites which for me are gateway porn. Keep on truckin' friends!
 

marsturm

Active Member
It's my 50th birthday and I'm one month porn free. I pray to God that I never have to act out again. Good thing is that I'm 100% willing to stay clean. Good luck to you guys.
 

marsturm

Active Member
2 months porn free! I'm beyond relieved. My morning erections are back with a vengeance and the other day I got up and still had an erection while opening the fridge for milk. Amazing. I also didn't masturbate. Let's hope I can stay on track and find a nice rewiring
partner soon. Good luck to you all.
 
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