Hello,
not sure exactly how to start this, so I am just going to begin and try to do the best that I can. My life is at an interesting place at the moment. As far as quality of life goes, I am doing pretty well. I am going to try my best to explain what I mean. I have reached a point in my life where I have a lot of foundation: I have a good education, with a Bachelor's Degree and a Master's degree. I have a significant amount of experience in my field. I have a girlfriend, although in truth she is more like a partner. She and I have been dating off and on for 3 years (entirely my fault) and have talked about our future together. She wants to move in with me in a few months, once I have a place of my own. Yes, I am 27 and I live with my parents at the moment. I will get there. So, my foundation is pretty strong! I am not trying to gloat or brag. That is honestly not my intent. I am merely setting up my next point.
So, why am I so lacking in motivation??? Where is my confidence??? Where is that desire to continue onward and upward??? It has deteriorated. And I know why. Porn and masturbation. It is the only sensible answer.
I have ADHD and a few associated disorders, so my attention span, resistance to distractibility, and impulse control have never been, and will never be as developed as "normal" people, or people without ADHD.
I am not relinquishing my responsibility or my ability to take control of my life. If anything I have tried for years to take control of my ADHD. You name it, I have read it. "Taking Charge of Adult ADHD", by Barkley, both "Driven To" and "Delivered From Distraction", by Hallowell, and too many other books on the subject to list here.
I want to make something very, very clear. ADHD is REAL. I will not hear any arguments or refutations of that statement. There is too much evidence, and my own personal experience to back me up on this.
BUT, my ADHD IS NOT what is holding me back. I know too much about my ADHD brain. I have too many solutions, which I have made use of. I take medication for it, I use so many techniques and strategies to make up for it.
So, ADHD IS NOT the problem.
So, what is?
It IS NOT my abilities, intelligence, or aptitude. I am a very bright individual, with many skills in multiple areas, and I have a tremendous ability to apply these abilities.
IT IS NOT depression. Well, at least not true, bona fide, clinical depression. As the sister website "Your Brain On Porn" makes perfectly clear, depression and lack of motivation are very real side effects of pornography addiction.
So, there we are. That is the answer. Eureka!!!
So, what to do now? I should point out that I am also giving up alcohol for the foreseeable future.
So, again, what to do now?
1. I just got back from a state-wide conference in my field, so I have a handful of new business cards, and a list of contacts.
2. I learned about several places where I can volunteer, keeping my field-specific skills current until such a time as I find employment in my field.
3. I have found places where I can take classes in new technological skills
4. I have found a place to take improv, or improvisational theater, classes
5. I have found a coach and consultant to help me stay on track in my job search.
In other words, I have a plan of action.
But none of this, and I do mean NONE OF IT, will make any difference whatsoever if I DO NOT QUIT PORN!!!
I know this to be a fact. Because I have lived it!!!
As I mentioned above, I know virtually everything there is to know about ADHD, and have acquired numerous techniques and strategies, in addition to a regular medication regime, to overcome the deficits of this disorder.
I have a network to form my foundation for getting a job in my field.
And I have help and support.
But the biggest, most important change will have to be getting rid of porn. As long as porn is a part of my life, I will not reach my potential. It is as simple as that.
So, I am standing up and walking away from porn. I have made my choice! I choose a healthy life.
not sure exactly how to start this, so I am just going to begin and try to do the best that I can. My life is at an interesting place at the moment. As far as quality of life goes, I am doing pretty well. I am going to try my best to explain what I mean. I have reached a point in my life where I have a lot of foundation: I have a good education, with a Bachelor's Degree and a Master's degree. I have a significant amount of experience in my field. I have a girlfriend, although in truth she is more like a partner. She and I have been dating off and on for 3 years (entirely my fault) and have talked about our future together. She wants to move in with me in a few months, once I have a place of my own. Yes, I am 27 and I live with my parents at the moment. I will get there. So, my foundation is pretty strong! I am not trying to gloat or brag. That is honestly not my intent. I am merely setting up my next point.
So, why am I so lacking in motivation??? Where is my confidence??? Where is that desire to continue onward and upward??? It has deteriorated. And I know why. Porn and masturbation. It is the only sensible answer.
I have ADHD and a few associated disorders, so my attention span, resistance to distractibility, and impulse control have never been, and will never be as developed as "normal" people, or people without ADHD.
I am not relinquishing my responsibility or my ability to take control of my life. If anything I have tried for years to take control of my ADHD. You name it, I have read it. "Taking Charge of Adult ADHD", by Barkley, both "Driven To" and "Delivered From Distraction", by Hallowell, and too many other books on the subject to list here.
I want to make something very, very clear. ADHD is REAL. I will not hear any arguments or refutations of that statement. There is too much evidence, and my own personal experience to back me up on this.
BUT, my ADHD IS NOT what is holding me back. I know too much about my ADHD brain. I have too many solutions, which I have made use of. I take medication for it, I use so many techniques and strategies to make up for it.
So, ADHD IS NOT the problem.
So, what is?
It IS NOT my abilities, intelligence, or aptitude. I am a very bright individual, with many skills in multiple areas, and I have a tremendous ability to apply these abilities.
IT IS NOT depression. Well, at least not true, bona fide, clinical depression. As the sister website "Your Brain On Porn" makes perfectly clear, depression and lack of motivation are very real side effects of pornography addiction.
So, there we are. That is the answer. Eureka!!!
So, what to do now? I should point out that I am also giving up alcohol for the foreseeable future.
So, again, what to do now?
1. I just got back from a state-wide conference in my field, so I have a handful of new business cards, and a list of contacts.
2. I learned about several places where I can volunteer, keeping my field-specific skills current until such a time as I find employment in my field.
3. I have found places where I can take classes in new technological skills
4. I have found a place to take improv, or improvisational theater, classes
5. I have found a coach and consultant to help me stay on track in my job search.
In other words, I have a plan of action.
But none of this, and I do mean NONE OF IT, will make any difference whatsoever if I DO NOT QUIT PORN!!!
I know this to be a fact. Because I have lived it!!!
As I mentioned above, I know virtually everything there is to know about ADHD, and have acquired numerous techniques and strategies, in addition to a regular medication regime, to overcome the deficits of this disorder.
I have a network to form my foundation for getting a job in my field.
And I have help and support.
But the biggest, most important change will have to be getting rid of porn. As long as porn is a part of my life, I will not reach my potential. It is as simple as that.
So, I am standing up and walking away from porn. I have made my choice! I choose a healthy life.
