Its not only porn that can cause ED! My story of ED, Age 26

Platano

Member
A bold title (with absolutely no medical support or scientific insight to back it up!) but I dont think its only porn that can cause ED or lack of libido. This is my story, and I hope it will help many with ED see that even though there are downs, the ups are just around the corner and you WILL get there.

This last month, ive actually been listening to "pleasure/orgasm/hands free orgasm" hypnosis files, and to put it in short, I just have not been interested in sex with my wife and have suffered from a failing willy ever since I started using this highly addictive outlet of sexual pleasure. None of these hypnosis files have actually made me ejaculate (and honestly very rarely have they even made me hard), but they have worked on me and given me the feeling of a full body orgasm which lasts for quite a while, so you can imagine how addictive this must be. Glad to say though, after watching some videos on yourbrainonporn, ive decided to categorize them as virtual stimulation and have deleted all of these hypnosis files from my phone.

About me and my history of ed

Im 26 years old, and started using porn when I was around.. I dont know, maybe 13-14. Ive had ED since I was 16, and went through some extremely tough years mentally in my late teens and early twenties.

I had my first sexual partner at 15, and intimacy went as far as oral sex. I later lost my virginity also at age 15, and all went well and as expected with a very hard penis and a completely uncontrollable urge to do it. Since that day, Ive only ever had that uncontrollable urge for sex twice (and boy do I miss it).

After losing my virginity, I was bashing the porn very hard. Every single day, several times a day without fail. This was in conjunction with constant video gaming (around the time MMORPGs and the first Medal Of Honors went online). I was literally, game, pmo, game, pmo, sleep, wake, game, pmo, food, game and so on and so forth. A year went by like this.

My next sexual encounter I was 16 years old. One of my much older colleagues actually took me to a (*edit, read forum rules and posted about something I shouldnt have - use your imagination!*) after a night out and "got" a girl for me. I really didnt feel like it at all, and I was quite nervous. I went ahead anyway though as I thought I would be fine once I got going, because I knew inside my head that I shouldve been very excited and eager, so I thought that maybe once I got going I would be more up for it. It didnt go well at all, and I just couldnt get it up. I hadnt drunk much at all, but to save face I told my friend that it was the booze and because the girl wasnt to my liking. He decided he would sort that out for me, and "got" another girl for me. I was determined to get it done, so in I went again with another girl. Same result, even less up for it.

After this, my confidence was shot, so as far as I can remember, I just returned to porn, oblivious of the damage I was doing.

A year went by, and then came my next sexual encounter at 17 years old. I was quite honestly crapping myself, only thinking about what had happened last time (which Id had a year to dwell on). She undressed, I wasnt feeling it. I had to stimulate myself quite vigorously to get hard and quickly put on a condom. After I penetrated her, I had only gone about 20 seconds and realised I was going to cum. To stop this, I pulled out for a second and asked to change position. I then lost my erection, and couldnt get it back up.

And I just couldnt understand why the hell my penis didnt seem to be interested in girls when I knew my head and heart were. My confidence was so shot, that the next time I would manage to actually have sex would be 5 years later, age 22.

So, from 17 to 22, the closest I got to sex was porn, and I used a lot of porn. I spent 5 years feeling my social confidence drain away and felt so alone and depressed. I did have many opportunities to have sex, but I shunned 90% of them out of fear of humiliation or the girl telling her friends, and for the other 10% that I decided to risk I could never get it up. I had a completely de-sensitised penis which would just not react to a womans touch.

When I was 21, there was one girl I trusted completely who I really liked and had dated a few times, so I gave it a go. Didnt work (obviously!), so even though I really liked her, my own short comings compelled me to break up with her and blame it on being "too busy with work", and she moved away.

A year later when I was 22, she came back. I went out with her a few times, and then got into bed with her again. As usual, ED got in the way. I had been at a point for years where I had resigned myself to never having a sexual partner, so I decided it was time to just give up on the idea of sex/girlfriend, so gave her the old "too busy with work for a relationship" excuse again. She said she was sad but understood, and decided she was going to move away again. I went to see her the night before she went, and she asked me to stay at hers for the night with no pressure - just so she could spent some time with me before she went. This was a complete turning point in my life.

In bed with her that night and being close to her, something just clicked inside me, and this was the 2nd time in my life I had that uncontrollable urge for sex. I dont know what it was that made me click - I have no idea if Id stopped watching porn, as at the time I made no mental note as it didnt seem relevant, but it became apparent that we both really wanted it, so we got on with it and it was so natural, unforced and great! We spent the night together, and had sex several times, as well as in the morning.

I felt like a new man (I emphasize on the word man, as Id never felt like one with ED). I went to work, and as far as I knew, she was leaving the next day. I spent almost the whole night at work with an erection thinking about her, and couldnt believe that even though Id finally managed intercourse, that I had equally bad luck that she was leaving. I decided to go and see her after work and see if she would stay now id seemingly overcome my issues, but she had already left. I stupidly left it at that, and after two days of erections and urges for sex somehow thought I was cured. I obliviously returned to porn and back onto this spiral going downwards that I didnt even know existed.

It didnt take long for me to realise that my spontaneous erections had gone, and I allowed myself to think Id just gotten "lucky" with my penis on the night I actually managed to have sex.

But its not all bad news. That same year, I met the woman who is now my wife. I was still heavily using porn when I met her, but I trusted her enough to attempt sexual relations. The first 5 times or so we tried, nothing happened, but I had already made the mistake of letting an understanding woman slip through my fingers so I stuck at it.

We did eventually manage full intercourse, though it was quite forced on my part and I took a very long time to orgasm. It felt more like a job than anything.

The first few months of our relationship were like this, but the more I was with the real deal instead of porn, the easier it got. Then came the third time I had that "uncontrollable urge". In a nutshell, my wife and I were having sex where and when we shouldnt of been, and it was quite exciting! This (quite sadly) has been the only time Ive had "the urge" with my wife, although Ive had many occasions of being very close to it and we have maintained a healthy sexual relationship even though Ive probably onle been operating at about 70% throughout.

I will mention though, that during our relationship I continued to use porn..... until she found out! In a nutshell, she didnt like it and an argument ensued, so she asked me to stop. I didnt, I just started doing it in secret and looking forward to time alone when I could PMO. Then I got an internet capable phone, which meant almost every trip to the bathroom resulted in PMO. Sex got harder. The last time I used porn was probably about a month ago though now, as we have now come full circle, back to me starting to use "orgasm hypnosis".

With the "orgasm hypnosis" my wife was not offended, so Ive not had to do it in secret. This has meant (as mentioned in my opening lines) that Ive completely abused it for several hours a day. I really noticed a lot that my desire to have sex with my wife has almost vanquished since I did this, and maintaining an erection during sex has been nigh on impossible.

Because of my success with "orgasm hypnosis" I decided to look up a hypnosis cure for ED on youtube, and this is where I came across yourbrainonporns videos which have made me FINALLY (after what, 10 years?) see the light of why I have had ED in ups and downs (mainly downs). I havent even bothered trying a "hypnosis cure", and will instead be trying to reboot.

I hope that my reboot will bring me up back to 100% (hypnosis orgamsms have currently left me at about 40%!) and allow me to experience many more uncontrollable sexual urges and desires for my real life partner.

I hope that any teens or people in their early twenties who take the time to read this will see - life isnt over. Even if you dont have a partner now or a sex life, it will come. I managed it without knowing what the root of the problem even was, so anyone armed with the knowledge that virtual stimulation is the problem will find a way through it!

I wish everyone the best of luck with their reboots and getting their lives back on track, and will update here when needed :)

Kudos to anyone who took the time to read this massively, long winded and accurate to the detail post!
 

Gabe Deem

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
What up Platano!

Great first post man. You did great at sharing your story and I am sure it will influence others to quit, after hearing your honesty and sincerity.

Some comments for you...

Im 26 years old, and started using porn when I was around.. I dont know, maybe 13-14

I too am 26, I started on high-speed internet porn when I was 12, but masturbated to magz and TV before that. However, the full blown ED did not hit until I was 22/23. After rebooting I went from having a limp penis with anything other than porn and a refractory period (time it takes to get another boner after orgasm) on par with a 90 year old, to being able to get it up like a teenager with erections that stay sometimes after orgasm.

However, this was a looooong painful 9 month reboot for me, but I can tell you one thing... I am so thankful I went through it because I came out stronger and more appreciative than I ever thought possible. As well as fully functional lol. So have hope man, you got it back once you can do it again.

ive actually been listening to "pleasure/orgasm/hands free orgasm" hypnosis files, and to put it in short, I just have not been interested in sex with my wife and have suffered from a failing willy ever since I started using this highly addictive outlet of sexual pleasure. None of these hypnosis files have actually made me ejaculate (and honestly very rarely have they even made me hard), but they have worked on me and given me the feeling of a full body orgasm which lasts for quite a while, so you can imagine how addictive this must be.

Sounds like you were keeping your dopamine levels very high for a long time, and doing this frequently. This is a recipe for addiction related brain changes and sexual conditioning (teaching your brain to only become aroused by a certain stimulus.) With high levels of dopamine comes the release of a "transcription factor" called DeltaFosB which helps wire up your brains neurons together and ultimately creates what can be thought of as a super memory of pleasure. A reboot will weaken these connections over time you just have to starve the addicted pathways and put your energy into creating new healthy ones.

The other side of keeping dopamine elevated like that is you become "numbed" to all pleasure because your reward circuit reduces dopamine and dopamine receptors. Your brain needs dopamine to signal to be able to give you an erection, but without enough dopamine being sent, and receptors to hear it's message, arousal is going to be unlikely. This combined with teaching your brain that a screen is where the pleasure is, is a recipe for ED. After you have been sexually conditioned to a certain stimulus, seeing a real partner will not register to your brain as rewarding so dopamine will not be released. Double edged sword.

So, from 17 to 22, the closest I got to sex was porn, and I used a lot of porn. I spent 5 years feeling my social confidence drain away and felt so alone and depressed.

The good news is that many former users bloom socially when they allow their dopamine receptors to return to baseline (by skipping intense stimulation for a time). That socail awkwardness and anxiety may decrease, mood improves, sexual responsiveness increases, and life?s subtler pleasures are more fulfilling. Social skills often bubble up naturally?much to the surprise of the recovering users. However, it will take some action on your part to put yourself in social situations to get used to them. Practice makes...better.

I hope that any teens or people in their early twenties who take the time to read this will see - life isnt over.

Very true words my man.

I wish everyone the best of luck with their reboots and getting their lives back on track, and will update here when needed

I hope the same for you too bro. Feel free to post and ask questions when needed in the main sections when needed. Keep us updated. We are all in this together.

Much love
 

Platano

Member
Cheers for your reply there Gabe. Seen some of your videos mate, you get a massive thumbs up from me for having the guts to front it all out to the world on camera. I used to think that my ED problem was something that I was going through and no other guys in his twenties was, but you spreading the word helps people understand there are thousands upon thousands of other young men with the same issue. Big thumbs up.

Anyway, as mentioned, its only the hypnosis stuff ive been doing the last month, and I havent done any of that now since the 7th of this month so 3 days in. The first two days I didnt feel any libido, but this morning I had some good morning wood and im sure I couldve preformed no problem if I wanted to. Hopefully this means I wont have to reboot for so long, but regardless im going to leave it more in the hope that I can make sex with my wife better than it has ever been, seeing as Ive never really had a true break from PMO since we got together.

Does anyone with experience of a reboot whilst in a relationship/marriage have any advice on when to consider starting to have sex again? As I said, my goal with this reboot to get back to the point of uncontrollable urges that ive experienced so little in my life, so should I for now ignore any mild urges for sex that I get? When I do feel like im firing on near all cylinders again, should we take it easy and just foreplay for a length of time?

I just dont want to be shunning my wife if its not necessary!
 

LTE

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
FWIW, I see a large part of the process as wiring away from self-centered pleasure and wiring towards pleasure with a partner. I think that concept may be very useful for you.
 

Platano

Member
LTE said:
FWIW, I see a large part of the process as wiring away from self-centered pleasure and wiring towards pleasure with a partner. I think that concept may be very useful for you.

When you put it like that, it makes me wonder why I even had to pose the question. Great advice mate :)
 

LTE

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
Platano said:
LTE said:
FWIW, I see a large part of the process as wiring away from self-centered pleasure and wiring towards pleasure with a partner. I think that concept may be very useful for you.

When you put it like that, it makes me wonder why I even had to pose the question. Great advice mate :)
I've said this many times before; you can have make-believe sex or you can have real sex, but not both. Which would you prefer?
 

Platano

Member
LTE said:
Platano said:
LTE said:
FWIW, I see a large part of the process as wiring away from self-centered pleasure and wiring towards pleasure with a partner. I think that concept may be very useful for you.

When you put it like that, it makes me wonder why I even had to pose the question. Great advice mate :)
I've said this many times before; you can have make-believe sex or you can have real sex, but not both. Which would you prefer?

I really and truly wish there was someone like you around to tell me that when I was 16 haha! Ill be educating my son well when he starts coming of age though, I know that much.
 

LTE

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
Platano said:
LTE said:
I've said this many times before; you can have make-believe sex or you can have real sex, but not both. Which would you prefer?

I really and truly wish there was someone like you around to tell me that when I was 16 haha! Ill be educating my son well when he starts coming of age though, I know that much.
I know just what you mean. I lived with porn and masturbation problems for over forty years and a big part of it was that I didn't realize that it was not normal. As little as two years ago I didn't know whether or not everyone had this problem.
 
Top