41 years old and looking for help... I have been on this road for so long it sometimes seems like I will never overcome. I have some insight and still some fight left in me but it would be nice to lean on someone else for a change. I check my email daily and will be available to anyone else who is looking to move on to a better life once and for all. Thanks
**Accountability Partner Requests**
- Thread starter Gabe Deem
- Start date
flyboy97222
Member
Looking for an acountability partner-
44 married man, an amazing wife and 2 wonderful children.
44 married man, an amazing wife and 2 wonderful children.
RecoveryJunkie
Active Member
I'm looking for AP, been hardlining off PMO for just over a month. I'm over 40 and diabetic but have done vascular testing and the doc says circulation is good so here I find myself looking for answers. I'm Straight, have a new gf who I've talked to about PMO issues. She is supportive. I'm Not that experienced when it comes to forums but I've been journaling on here roughly every day or so. The struggle is real although I haven't and don't want to watch P anymore. Inbox me if you think we could help each other.
mymensgroup717
Member
I think accountability is an important step in recovery. However, it can't just be focused on the behavior alone. We have to get to what is underlying the behavior. Masturbating and porn is just a symptom of an underlying problem. It's like having a cold and all you do is focus on what type of tissues to buy for your runny nose or what kind of cough drops to get. It's focusing on a remedy for the symptoms and not getting at fixing the root issue which is the cold. Creating a safe environment for accountability to explore that is definitely critical. That being said, it?s also important to make sure that accountability questions asked get to heart level matters. Guys have to feel safe and have a level of trust established in order to go to that level though. I see three main types of accountability. Cop accountability where the cop takes a ?gotcha!? legalistic approach to the person being held accountable. There is also coach accountability where the coach tries to be very positive and encouraging and finally there is cardiac accountability where the person gets to heart level issues and matters with the person being held accountable. This gets at the underlying things that manifest with symptoms of acting out (porn, masturbation, affairs, etc.) The key with accountability is not just focusing on the symptoms which is how the person acted out (cop and coach) but to get to the underlying root issues or causes that were behind the acting out (cardiac). http://www.mymensgroup.net/accountability-resources.html
Porn2Bmild
Member
I'm not exactly how this is supposed to work, but I am looking for an AP. About me, I am an openly gay 43 year-old man, just so you guys know where I'm coming from. Thanks.
Franklinj6
Member
Good luck.
I'm 51 years old and 43 days into my hard reboot. After eight years of addiction to free porn on the Internet, I have trashed my life and my relationship to my beautiful wife and daughter. I am fighting to regain my soul, my self, and my love. Despite some symptoms (headaches, mood swings/spikes, sleeplessness), the process of abstaining has been good - with no desire to go back.
Want to keep it that way - and through SA meetings, I've heard stories of successful reboots falling apart when stress or depression works its way through. I have not found a sponsor yet, and it seems to me that an accountability partner might be more in line with what could help me - not just to stay on track, but to focus on helping someone else do the same. Porn addiction for me has been a kind of toxic narcissism - I want to focus on other people and of being some use in the world after taking so much away from it.
I look forward to meeting and working with a partner on this recovery.
Want to keep it that way - and through SA meetings, I've heard stories of successful reboots falling apart when stress or depression works its way through. I have not found a sponsor yet, and it seems to me that an accountability partner might be more in line with what could help me - not just to stay on track, but to focus on helping someone else do the same. Porn addiction for me has been a kind of toxic narcissism - I want to focus on other people and of being some use in the world after taking so much away from it.
I look forward to meeting and working with a partner on this recovery.
Porn2Bmild
Member
Franklinj6 said:
Fj6, thanks for taking the time to reply. I have an AP now, but we're all in this together. Hopefully, you can find an AP soon. I'm telling you, having one makes a difference.
I relapsed twice since I joined mid-May, but now that I have an AP, he's kept me from PMO'ing (and even MO'ing) twice within as many days now. I'm determined to get through these next 3 months via the Hard 90 route.
Stay positive and strong, my brother! We will conquer this!
B
Brokenbutredeemed
Guest
I am a 53 year old married male, father of two, seeking an accountability partner.
Today, marks seven weeks that I have been PMO free and I want to keep it that way.
Today, marks seven weeks that I have been PMO free and I want to keep it that way.
Feeble mindLO
New Member
I am 62 years old, masturbating from the age of 5, sexually molested by a male OR tec. Would like an accountability partner that is Christian, just believe that we would be on the same page. Married for 37 years, she's a good woman, and she knows of the porn. Other programs are outside my ranch. As I am not the only one who needs help with little to work with. On good days it mite be 7 to 10 days return to porn, but it keeps coming back. Was a part of this form 6 months ago and pride ran me off. Not this time. Would like to connect with two others, for that makes for a three cord accord that not easy to break.
imnipper
Member
I've started my reboot and I am committed to my recovery. I have been following some journals and participating in others and my own recovery but it would be nice to have a dedicated accountability partner. I use support where I can find it but I am ultimately responsible for my own reboot.
I have found that I have been connecting with men of across the board in this shared community but I relate on other life experiences as:
-a gay man
-a secular Jew (no God here)
-a WeHo or gay ghetto/boystown resident
-someone whose sexual awakening occurred in or around the early 1980's as AIDS was taking root
If you are new here and looking for someone that will challenge you in your recovery and you are up to the challenge, please reach out!
I have found that I have been connecting with men of across the board in this shared community but I relate on other life experiences as:
-a gay man
-a secular Jew (no God here)
-a WeHo or gay ghetto/boystown resident
-someone whose sexual awakening occurred in or around the early 1980's as AIDS was taking root
If you are new here and looking for someone that will challenge you in your recovery and you are up to the challenge, please reach out!
joemaloney12
New Member
Help
mid 50's, great wife and family, married 29 years, enjoy fair health and am successful in my career. I've been addicted to porn my whole life. Progressed last year to acting out, with men. Porn and sex has dominated my life since I was 13. All consuming.
More of my story on my journal page.
Looking for someone around my age to be accountable with.
More of my story on my journal page.
Looking for someone around my age to be accountable with.
Yellowbrain
New Member
Hi,
New here. I'm 54, married with 2 young kids. I've been addicted to porn as long as I can remember. Did therapy etc., but really need accountability to someone in the same boat.
Spiritual, but not religious.
Porn is threatening to destroy my life, but I'm confident I can move through this.
New here. I'm 54, married with 2 young kids. I've been addicted to porn as long as I can remember. Did therapy etc., but really need accountability to someone in the same boat.
Spiritual, but not religious.
Porn is threatening to destroy my life, but I'm confident I can move through this.
I am 50 years old. I had been a constant user of all forms of (non-paid) pornography for years. My wife discovered this last spring and initiated a divorce. She forgave me, and I foolishly thought that I had the wherewithal to simply abandon decades of conditioning. I backslid beginning about three weeks ago. I was discovered. My wife now wavers between telling me that she will only stay around until the children have finished high school and telling me she loves me. I know that I don't even deserve for her to stay around another day. I do not know how an accountability partner works, but I am willing to try it. To make matters more difficult, my employer has changed their HRA policies so that I can no longer use my card to directly pay the coach/counselor I had just started using, beginning January 1. Given what that costs, I may be adrift without professional assistance.
Looking for an accountability partner.
I am 43 years old, I am married for the past 11 years and have been struggling with porn for probably 35 years. I haven't used porn in a few weeks, but now that I have been reading this website I have understood that by me going on YouTube and Facebook and kind of trying to see women is just as bad. I quit in July 2016 and during that time I would perv on Facebook and YouTube etc. and then finally relapse in December 2016. From then until now I would continue doing this perving on YouTube etc. Now from what I've read here I realize that I need to rewire my brain and quit it all and all, no YouTube/Facebook perving.
I have had an affair on my wife and was caught, I am really lucky that she is staying with me and working it out. I believe that the affair occurred partially because of porn. What I am unsure of is how to do this reboot while I am married, obviously I am sexually attracted to my wife, what do I do not give her any sexual attention at all during the 90 days?
How do I deal with the sexual temptation of touching my wife, even though we are not having any sex, she is not ready due to the affair
I am 43 years old, I am married for the past 11 years and have been struggling with porn for probably 35 years. I haven't used porn in a few weeks, but now that I have been reading this website I have understood that by me going on YouTube and Facebook and kind of trying to see women is just as bad. I quit in July 2016 and during that time I would perv on Facebook and YouTube etc. and then finally relapse in December 2016. From then until now I would continue doing this perving on YouTube etc. Now from what I've read here I realize that I need to rewire my brain and quit it all and all, no YouTube/Facebook perving.
I have had an affair on my wife and was caught, I am really lucky that she is staying with me and working it out. I believe that the affair occurred partially because of porn. What I am unsure of is how to do this reboot while I am married, obviously I am sexually attracted to my wife, what do I do not give her any sexual attention at all during the 90 days?
How do I deal with the sexual temptation of touching my wife, even though we are not having any sex, she is not ready due to the affair
47 year old newbie here on the forum. I'm on day 5 and have done fairly well in my reboot, but I'm not gonna get too over confident with it. I realize I'm subject to slip at anytime. I need an accountability partner to help me through this. Please if anyone can commit to this send me a message. Thanks you, Blaze
getagrip
Active Member
I'm a 67-year old guy with a relatively new porn and P.I.E.D. problem. I didn't start watching heavily until my divorce about two years ago. When I lost my "adult supervision" and got my own place, it was just way too easy to go on my computer and PMO for hours and hours at a time, sometimes not getting to bed until 5 a.m. or so, and then having to call in sick for work. I had an accountability partner until about six months ago, and our relationship was very helpful to both of us. But he finished his reboot and moved on, totally understandable. Since I've been without an accountability partner all summer, I've slipped back into my unhealthy habits. I would welcome anyone of any age to p.m. me and see if we can help each other out.
Thanks very much.
Thanks very much.