NoFapMonkey1
New Member
Hi,
I'm new here, and I plan on writing my full story (which includes over a decade of struggle with excessive porn and masturbation), but in the meantime, I have a couple quick questions.
FIRST:
Just want to say THANK YOU to this incredibly informative, supportive and inspiring community! I've been lurking for about a month, and I've derived great inspiration (and knowledge) from the stories here.
QUICK BACKGROUND & RECENT HISTORY:
I'm 38-years-old, with a 13-year history of PMO which resulted in occasional PIED.
About 119 days ago, I discovered YourBrainOnPorn, and it was a HUGE-discovery! Once I read through the site and realized that PMO likely had been playing a role in my erectile dysfunction and low libido over the past 13 years, I immediately resolved to stop 100%. Since I'm now convinced that PMO, in fact, has been very hurtful to me, it's been relatively easy for me after reading that site, to give it up completely.
About 54 days into giving up PMO, I had a one-night stand in which I did have sex with a woman, using Levitra.
About 78 days into giving up PMO, I started regularly dating another woman, which is still going on. We get together about once or twice a week, and have really great sex each time, but again, it is with the use of Levitra.
QUESTION 1: SEX / E.D. MEDS WHILE RE-WIRING
Over the years, I'd gotten into the habit of occasionally using Levitra to help me be able to have sex. However, it wouldn't always work (after reading up on PIED, I now understand why; however I didn't at the time). I would almost ALWAYS secretly use it on my first time having sex with a new woman (to ensure that that all-important first impression sex went well), but would then taper off to nothing once I started seeing the woman regularly.
However, when I don't use it, my erections are weaker and sometimes I would go soft in the woman, and when this would happen I would basically have to end intercourse before either of us climaxed.
Now, I have chosen to remain in my sex-having 'relationship' with my new woman, even though from my understanding it might delay the full success of my reboot (as opposed to refraining from Orgasm).
I have used Levitra every single time we've had sex, so I'm not sure how much of my performance is due to my natural recovery, and how much is due to the Levitra. I have started using 20mg each sex session (this would enable us to have sex 3 times in one night), and my plan is to gradually taper off to nothing: 15mg -> 10mg -> 5mg -> nothing.
Question: Does anyone think that my use of an ED medication while rebooting / rewiring is harmful to my recovery? Does anyone have any experience with this?
QUESTION 2: MY NIPPLES
As early as when I was 18, I discovered that my nipples are extremely sensitive. If my nipples are stimulated while my penis is being stimulated, I get aroused, and climax MUCH MUCH quicker. So, I had gotten into the habit over the past 20-years to almost exclusively stimulating my nipples while masturbating, and asking my partners to do the same to me during sex.
However, now I think it is difficult for me to get fully aroused/climax without my nipples being stimulated.
Question: Does this seem like a problem in anyway? In my 'recovery', should I aim to also overcome my reliance on stimulation of my nipples in order to get fully hard/climax? I'm wondering if it would represent a fuller recovery if I would be able to get fully hard JUST from penis stimulation / contact. Any thoughts/ similar experience on this topic?
QUESTION 3: SHOULD I RESET MY COUNTER FOR THIS?
119 days ago, I 100% gave up Porn and Masturbation, and haven't looked back.
On day 54, I had sex (using Levitra), after having drunk a full bottle of wine. My erection quality was not very good, but I did get hard enough to have sex, but then I came almost immediately.
So, on around day 62 or so, I 'tested', because I wanted to see if there was any change in my erection quality after 62 days of No PMO. So, I edged for a few moments, and noticed that even though I wasn't really getting erect, it seemed like I would ejaculate if I kept going-- so I stopped. I did not ejaculate, and I felt like it was a genuinely curious check to see if my new 'NoFap'-ing lifestyle was yielding any different behavior from my penis.
Question: Since then, I've read up more on the site about what these counters represent, and I'm wondering if I should chop 62 days off my streak (down to 57 from 119) because that would have technically counted as fapping. I hadn't thought about it that way until a couple weeks ago as I was reading through more and more of the site's materials.
CONCLUSION:
I will follow No PMO for life. Actual sexual engagement with an actual woman, the intimacy and connection, and natural enjoyment involved, is SO worth it-- If having any level of involvement with porn or masturbation diminishes my ability to be sexual with a woman, for me it is simply NOT WORTH IT.
Even though I am currently using Levitra as a crutch, I recognize that it's a crutch, and I aim to taper off to nothing.
THANK YOU ALL for welcoming me into the community, and I appreciate any feedback/answers/thoughts on my 3 questions above.
NoFapMonkey
I'm new here, and I plan on writing my full story (which includes over a decade of struggle with excessive porn and masturbation), but in the meantime, I have a couple quick questions.
FIRST:
Just want to say THANK YOU to this incredibly informative, supportive and inspiring community! I've been lurking for about a month, and I've derived great inspiration (and knowledge) from the stories here.
QUICK BACKGROUND & RECENT HISTORY:
I'm 38-years-old, with a 13-year history of PMO which resulted in occasional PIED.
About 119 days ago, I discovered YourBrainOnPorn, and it was a HUGE-discovery! Once I read through the site and realized that PMO likely had been playing a role in my erectile dysfunction and low libido over the past 13 years, I immediately resolved to stop 100%. Since I'm now convinced that PMO, in fact, has been very hurtful to me, it's been relatively easy for me after reading that site, to give it up completely.
About 54 days into giving up PMO, I had a one-night stand in which I did have sex with a woman, using Levitra.
About 78 days into giving up PMO, I started regularly dating another woman, which is still going on. We get together about once or twice a week, and have really great sex each time, but again, it is with the use of Levitra.
QUESTION 1: SEX / E.D. MEDS WHILE RE-WIRING
Over the years, I'd gotten into the habit of occasionally using Levitra to help me be able to have sex. However, it wouldn't always work (after reading up on PIED, I now understand why; however I didn't at the time). I would almost ALWAYS secretly use it on my first time having sex with a new woman (to ensure that that all-important first impression sex went well), but would then taper off to nothing once I started seeing the woman regularly.
However, when I don't use it, my erections are weaker and sometimes I would go soft in the woman, and when this would happen I would basically have to end intercourse before either of us climaxed.
Now, I have chosen to remain in my sex-having 'relationship' with my new woman, even though from my understanding it might delay the full success of my reboot (as opposed to refraining from Orgasm).
I have used Levitra every single time we've had sex, so I'm not sure how much of my performance is due to my natural recovery, and how much is due to the Levitra. I have started using 20mg each sex session (this would enable us to have sex 3 times in one night), and my plan is to gradually taper off to nothing: 15mg -> 10mg -> 5mg -> nothing.
Question: Does anyone think that my use of an ED medication while rebooting / rewiring is harmful to my recovery? Does anyone have any experience with this?
QUESTION 2: MY NIPPLES
As early as when I was 18, I discovered that my nipples are extremely sensitive. If my nipples are stimulated while my penis is being stimulated, I get aroused, and climax MUCH MUCH quicker. So, I had gotten into the habit over the past 20-years to almost exclusively stimulating my nipples while masturbating, and asking my partners to do the same to me during sex.
However, now I think it is difficult for me to get fully aroused/climax without my nipples being stimulated.
Question: Does this seem like a problem in anyway? In my 'recovery', should I aim to also overcome my reliance on stimulation of my nipples in order to get fully hard/climax? I'm wondering if it would represent a fuller recovery if I would be able to get fully hard JUST from penis stimulation / contact. Any thoughts/ similar experience on this topic?
QUESTION 3: SHOULD I RESET MY COUNTER FOR THIS?
119 days ago, I 100% gave up Porn and Masturbation, and haven't looked back.
On day 54, I had sex (using Levitra), after having drunk a full bottle of wine. My erection quality was not very good, but I did get hard enough to have sex, but then I came almost immediately.
So, on around day 62 or so, I 'tested', because I wanted to see if there was any change in my erection quality after 62 days of No PMO. So, I edged for a few moments, and noticed that even though I wasn't really getting erect, it seemed like I would ejaculate if I kept going-- so I stopped. I did not ejaculate, and I felt like it was a genuinely curious check to see if my new 'NoFap'-ing lifestyle was yielding any different behavior from my penis.
Question: Since then, I've read up more on the site about what these counters represent, and I'm wondering if I should chop 62 days off my streak (down to 57 from 119) because that would have technically counted as fapping. I hadn't thought about it that way until a couple weeks ago as I was reading through more and more of the site's materials.
CONCLUSION:
I will follow No PMO for life. Actual sexual engagement with an actual woman, the intimacy and connection, and natural enjoyment involved, is SO worth it-- If having any level of involvement with porn or masturbation diminishes my ability to be sexual with a woman, for me it is simply NOT WORTH IT.
Even though I am currently using Levitra as a crutch, I recognize that it's a crutch, and I aim to taper off to nothing.
THANK YOU ALL for welcoming me into the community, and I appreciate any feedback/answers/thoughts on my 3 questions above.
NoFapMonkey