rogerfaperer
Member
TL;DR - solid 301 day reboot with good signs of healing, but one slip-up has led to a few chaser PMOs. Hoping I am still OK?
Beware any slip-ups, even for those in well-established reboots. I'm optimistic I haven't done much damage, but it was so easy to fall back briefly into porn.
As I've recounted I started a 'reboot' last year, and a 301 day streak from May up until a few weeks ago included signs associated with improvement - morning wood, wet dreams, sensitivity etc. -, successful sex for the first time, a fair bit of rewiring, and a bit more of an urge to approach girls (as if my body knowing it can't just get off with a computer anymore).
In the new year I've gone on about 10 dates with girls from tinder with the purpose of continued rewiring with nothing to lose since they aren't girls I 'know'. This has been great just from a social/getting better at dating side and also in the sense that since I may never see them again I'm not worried about potential PIED if things got intimate.
Interestingly, I've consistently leaked a little bit of precum chatting over drinks and if there were any good night kiss I'd have at least a semi-erection. Great signs, I think.
A few weeks ago I was setting up another date, the girl added me on facebook, I was excited, I started looking through her pics a bit, let myself get a bit too engaged, touched myself a few times, and, I guess given my sensitivity, before I knew it had gone over the edge and came. ...I scolded myself - incredible!-, we went on a date a few days later, and I had the same 'signs of life' downstairs, thank goodness.
The last couple weekends, though, I've (P)MOed a couple times each (during the weeks I am busy with work and stay clean). Similar thing where I dipped into a girl's facebook, but also involved some pics and a brief P video viewing. ...This has got to be the dreaded chaser effect at play, right? I've consciously told myself to abstain, but it's as if my scummy brain tricks me. It's amazing how even after such a long, overall solid reboot, I can dangerously drift back into old habits.
I would like to think given the substantial time of reboot and decent amount of rewiring I had put in that this is just a minor blip and I haven't really set myself back again as long as I get back on course. I'm hoping to go on another date this week and hoping for the same reassuring signs downstairs.
I welcome any thoughts, assurances, concerns, input - thanks!
Beware any slip-ups, even for those in well-established reboots. I'm optimistic I haven't done much damage, but it was so easy to fall back briefly into porn.
As I've recounted I started a 'reboot' last year, and a 301 day streak from May up until a few weeks ago included signs associated with improvement - morning wood, wet dreams, sensitivity etc. -, successful sex for the first time, a fair bit of rewiring, and a bit more of an urge to approach girls (as if my body knowing it can't just get off with a computer anymore).
In the new year I've gone on about 10 dates with girls from tinder with the purpose of continued rewiring with nothing to lose since they aren't girls I 'know'. This has been great just from a social/getting better at dating side and also in the sense that since I may never see them again I'm not worried about potential PIED if things got intimate.
Interestingly, I've consistently leaked a little bit of precum chatting over drinks and if there were any good night kiss I'd have at least a semi-erection. Great signs, I think.
A few weeks ago I was setting up another date, the girl added me on facebook, I was excited, I started looking through her pics a bit, let myself get a bit too engaged, touched myself a few times, and, I guess given my sensitivity, before I knew it had gone over the edge and came. ...I scolded myself - incredible!-, we went on a date a few days later, and I had the same 'signs of life' downstairs, thank goodness.
The last couple weekends, though, I've (P)MOed a couple times each (during the weeks I am busy with work and stay clean). Similar thing where I dipped into a girl's facebook, but also involved some pics and a brief P video viewing. ...This has got to be the dreaded chaser effect at play, right? I've consciously told myself to abstain, but it's as if my scummy brain tricks me. It's amazing how even after such a long, overall solid reboot, I can dangerously drift back into old habits.
I would like to think given the substantial time of reboot and decent amount of rewiring I had put in that this is just a minor blip and I haven't really set myself back again as long as I get back on course. I'm hoping to go on another date this week and hoping for the same reassuring signs downstairs.
I welcome any thoughts, assurances, concerns, input - thanks!