Wabbajack
Active Member
Soon there will be a day when I'll be off porn and masturbation free for 9 months
The road so far:
GOOD THINGS:
What do you think, lads?
Wabba
The road so far:
GOOD THINGS:
- Absolutely no porn cravings, much less objectification and desire to do crazy, unusual things in bed fuelled by porn and I even have this weird "bad" feeling when I'm looking for a bit too long at sexy ads or a sex scene in a movie. It's fine if I just look at it, but it feels weird if I start to pay too much attention. I think this is a really good sign.
- Erections started to get better, although I still use 25 mgs of sildenafilium most of the time. It started to work longer (or I get better even if it wears off), e.g. when I take one in the evening I still can have sex in the morning, but the erection is less reliable. For me this is a sign that the pill wore off and it's just ME - feels amazing.
- ♂ Even more curiosity about extending my sexuality to tantra, semen retention, male multiple orgasms with one small downside - most of them encourage edging and I still don't feel if I'm ready to introduce MO to my life again.
- I'm slowly trying to change my view of masturbation, starting by calling it solo sex to again look at it as something normal and beneficial instead of a downslope back to porn.
- I even consider getting male toys, though I tried some of things I bought for me and my partner (a suction vibrator) and I do own a Fleshlight.
- I got back to doing kegels, although I should be more consistent
- I started to dance again, going swimming and I consider running - generally introducing more physical activity back into my life.
- I refrain from touching myself and edging (no visual aid of course) and I noticed my premature ejaculation got better. And this leads me to:
- Premature ejaculation Since my partner recently switched to and IUD I find it difficult to control my orgasms. As I mentioned above it gets better if I don't touch myself at all. Sometimes I have enough control and with cooperation with my GF we're able to get her off just in time (I finish seconds before her and I push her over the edge with the last few thrusts) but mostly I struggle, turn to oral sex or simply... come prematurely. Kegels help, I need to do more of that
I noticed that if I come prematurely, while trying to withhold it, the orgasm is way less intense and is not satisfying at all. The worst is that if we try for round two, I still don't have this edge taken off and I tend to come prematurely (or almost) even on round two. What takes the edge off is ALLOWING MYSELF TO COME, either by her hand or mouth or when the round one goes well, round two gives me WAY MORE CONTROL over myself. So far the strongest orgasms I got was when I gave my girlfriend an oral orgasm and then I finished with penetration, she seems to like it as well.
Funny thing is that part of me misses that "beautiful" days when I had a bit of a death grip syndrome and I was able to give my then-girlfriend 3-4 orgasms before having one myself... But then I remembered that I had to think about porn to finish sometimes. Yeah, good old times
This whole premature ejaculation and a certain sexual tension that occurs occasionally is my main drive towards allowing myself to masturbate healhily again - the second being the tantra, semen retenion and multiple orgasms practicing.
And this leads me to my second "bad thing"
- Fear of returning to masturbation Maybe more of an anxiety. I have a feeling like introducing HEALTHY masturbation back into my life could be beneficial and help me with tension, control over my body and learning what I like, but I have a fear that I might have no restraint and the whole thing would become a fight with myself to not overdo it and not a healhy sexual practice as it should be.
So far I made a decision to make it to a full year with no porn and no masturbation at all. I see it as quite an achievement and a milestone and I might be ready to MO. Maybe.
Three more months
What do you think, lads?
Wabba
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